flappyfish

Not exactly the same situation, but my son developed very poor mental health during Y5 which then deteriorated big time when he went to High School. It seems to me that the lack of SENCO is key here, and I would write to the head teacher and explain what a key role she was playing and ask if there is someone else in the school who can take on some of this role until the SENCO returns - I found that communication with ours, which wasn't always easy or comfortable, really did drive the improvements at school. Our son was able to do all his lessons in the schools' inclusion provision (only a few rooms - nothing fancy!!) until he was stable enough to have a go at attending some that he thought he might manage. It took from October to July to get him back in but we did. He did have funding at that point but not a statement, although he does now. I am inclined to agree with the poster who said she might be too old for a statement to be viable, but then the school leaving age goes up next year, so maybe that's not the case. I think I'd be inclined to have a go anyway but get help filling in your bits so that you don't get it sent back. Like the previous poster said, the process will at least force people to look at her. CAMHS were fantastic with my son and did a lot of liaising with school. He saw someone from specialist CAMHS for nearly two years and as well as helping him, it kept me this side of sane! I do hope you get somewhere.

I would make an appointment to go into school and talk to the teacher. I am a teacher, and it's not unusual for children, especially boys, not to be able to write on entering school or even to make meaningful marks. Also, what you think 'doing well' means and what his teacher means may be different. It's not unreasonable for you to ask her what she means - what is he doing well at? She is probably talking about his ability to follow classroom routines, for example, or his ability to focus on a task. Ask your child's teacher what you might reasonably expect in terms of progress and what you can best do to support this at home. He may be nowhere near learning to read, but there are lots of pre reading skills you could be helpfully developing. Be prepared to be patient - just adapting to being in a new environment is a big deal for our children. Hope that's helpful.

My neice who is very academic but had struggled hugely has had to take a slightly alternative route. She only took 5 GCSE's because her education had been so disrupted and she ended up attending a PRU. She did A levels at a HE college but although she got a place at uni, she couldn't cope and dropped iout after only a few weeks. She spent the rest of that year recovering and the following academic year took an access course. Because it was academically well within her capabilities, she did brilliantly but was able to re learn how to cope socially and organisationally. She was given an unconditional offer to a very good university on the basis of her actual results and them being able to see her potential (they talked with her about post grad study)and starts this academic year. I would warn against too much too soon with an emotionally and socially fragile person. I do hope she gets where she wants to, but softly softly catchee monkey!

I do feel for you. Both my boys were dreadful and I still have nightmares about washing huge numbers of revolting pants and trousers years later! No great advice, but encouragement to keep going and that you will get there in the end. Who knows, you might even look back and laugh!!

I would look on the IPSEA website if I were you. It's very good for giving you advice in specific situations. Even if the rules are different in Scotland, it will give you some ideas. There's also one called ACE (advisory centre for education) which is similar but has excellent sections dealing with exclusion. Hope you find what you need.

My daughter had a rather traumatic extraction but it was done using an injected substance that gave her a 'don't care' feeling and had an amnesiac effect afterwards. Can't remember what it was called but it was brilliant.

Have done it now!" I was thrown by the bit that said if you have 2 children with a diagnosis, complete it for the eldest, but my eldest is over 17 so I have done it for the youngest.

Not sure if your survey works or if you just didn't need more information from me, but I only answered 3 pages and then it closed. This took about 1 minute.

Regarding IQ's, my son's was measured at 135 and is on the 99th percentile, so yours is very, very high!

My son spent yesterday in a fleece claiming he wasn't hot. He did wear a duffle coat for a few years (including in the summer)but he has grown out of it now. He finds it hard to change once he has put something on. I have largely given up battling about it at home where nobody but us can see him, but I do insist if we go out that he dresses 'normally' as I don't want him to be bullied. It was funny to read that someone else's child likes to be over dressed too, though.

There is a book that I came across on Amazon (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Explosive-Child-Understanding-Frustrated-Chronically/dp/0061906190/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309006050&sr=1-1) Called 'Explosive children: a new approach...' By Ross Greene. The reviews from parents with children who sound very like yours are very good. It gives lots of practical strategies. Might be worth investing in. Hope things improve soon.

I do feel for you! I am a teacher and it is tiring when children are challenging, but you should never take it personally and I would not convey that to a parent. I think unfortunately, people don't always realise just how vulnerable parents feel. I come away from meetings about my son feeling low and demoralised even when people are nice to me!! All you can do is say to yourself that you are doing what you can. Listen to some nice music, eat something, buy clothes, go for a walk, sing... whatever does it for you. Actually, I have been taking St John's Wort as I had reached the crying at nothing stage, and it has really helped tolift my mood. Got it at Sainsbury's so no GP involved. Also, take comfort from the fact that you are not on your own. Are you in a support group? Hearing that other people go through similar and worse can be very reassuring. I do hope things pick up for you.

We have exactly the same thing, and a self harming child is very difficult to experience and handle. You feel their anger/hurt/frustration very deeply. we can go from a little tiny thing going wrong to 'I will never have a job or any friends and I might as well be dead' in seconds. I do sympathise with you. My son goes to CAMHS which, although he doesn't like talking about things, does help, and has certainly helped me. I am less alarmed by this talk than I used to be and better equipped to handle it. School referred him when he started talking like that at school and banging his head. Could you seek a CAMHS referral for your boy? I'm sorry you are going through this. I do hope you manage to handle it.

I'd go with swimming. Find out when the pool is quiet and go then. Good all round exercise and not too much social pressure.

My 11 year old (with disordered mood and high anxiety levels) reacts inappropriatly to what he sees as bullying. I am sure there are occasions when people have said unkind things, but when his mood is low, he misinterprets people's intentions, and so if anyone laughs in the classroom, he presumes it's at him and is inflexible in having anyone suggest otherwise. His TA is very vigilant as she knows this is an issue and I trust her feedback. But to him the feelings are very real. As a parent, it's quite understandable to want to save your child from this and to want people to know that these reactions arise from thei frustrations etc. However, seeing it from everyone else's point of view, no parent will be happy with someone calling their child gay, hitting them or throwing things at them (what mine did) even if they are autistic. The approach I take with mine is to give some empathy ' you threw your pencil case at him because you were feeling frustrated, and you couldn't think of another way of handling it.' I then set the absolutes ...'but you may not throw things. People get hurt that way' and after that we work through alternative ways of dealing with it. I would love to tell you that he has instantly responded in a positive way to this - he hasn't! Often we have hours of upset, of him feeling that I am against him ... However, I would be doing him few favours if I let him think that this behaviour was OK. Yes he is frustrated, and yes he misinterprets people, but everybody should be free from being hit, shouted at or otherwise harmed and he is part of everybody. Use these times as teaching moment. He might not get it straight away, but keep trying. It is hard (I am worn out with it) but it's important if he is to learn to co-exist with people he doesn't 'get' and who don't necessarily get him.