caving in on your thoughts

[robo]

Is it just me or do you find your self going from one problem to the next high low high low high low. Is there any way of stopping the constant anaylising of life going on in your head. This week i was told that a course i really wanted to do at work and they had givern the go ahead to was not happening, my mind is still spinning with bad thoughts and what happens now thoughts. I ended up in bed with sickness and other IBS side effects. Will this ever stop or will it eventually end one way.

An suggestions

robo

[smiley1590]

i get like this rob too one mood or another one extreme or other drives me mad crazy as don't know where you are are EVER how you feeling! and bad thoughts spinning around all time! high and low can never find 'true' middle ground 'balance' of stability in the mind and the world leaves like see saw all time like on emotional rollercoaster and so tiring so draining i know what you mean get so fed up going round and round never feels like going to STOP or end any time soon!!! hard to explain in words though!

 

XKX

[DameBeverage]

Yes I analyze things, so it can take a long time to absorb an experience and yes it does cause tiredness. A lot of the time recently has been to do it to try and protect myself from being used or targeted, or messed around, so I can be one step ahead of of the experiences and try and sort it out as quick as possible.

 

I had a problem with a company that sent me the wrong item and it took 2 weeks to try and send it back. They made me stay in for 4 days, with no one collecting, so it ruined my routine. It caused a great deal of distress, having to contact them and wait in all day.

 

On top of this, I was trying to remember the routine I have started to put in place, but it did destroy it to some level. I am finding it very hard to go out now. So some things are to try and manage routines within unplanned changes.

 

I am still trying to recover. I am exhausted

[claire xx]

those words describe how i feel perfectly! such a relief to know im not alone and coping ideas would be greatfulx hope things settle for you soonx

[robo]

This is great i thought i was slidding back into a deep hole but to know others feel like this and its not just me.

Does any one have any coping strategies to help keep positive.

Thank you so much for your replys. I know im not alone.

Daniel

[Tanya52]

Hello Robo,

 

There is a few definitions for what you just described. D. Coleman defined it as 'emotional hijacking' some call it obsessive thoughts. Luckily for me I found a piece of advice on one of the Autistic Networks that works for me and hope it can help others here too.

 

As soon as you feel emotions coming up you separate them from the external circumstance and just concentrate on the emotion, same with uncontrollable thoughts, and then you make decisions about how you want to do deal with them, if they are over whelming then you may decide to just do them for a while so you may tell them I'm going to do you for an hour or a day or what ever and a then you are going to tell me some thing about yourself, you should try to stay conscious of them and a bit separate.

 

At the end of the allocated time you might ask them if they've got some information for you and if they haven't you may tell them to go away or you might just tell them you'll give them the time but then you expect them to stop or you may ask them if they've got some thing to tell you or you might tell them; 'I'm not doing you now but I'll let you act out later when we've got time alone so I can find out more about you.'.. The idea is recognition that these are your thoughts and emotions. With this technique you should be able to get some mastery and learn how to make choices about how you want to think and feel, eg: I don't think I want to feel sad at the moment so I'll do happy what can I do at this moment to feel happy, it not about suppressing or denying the thoughts/emotions it about owning and controlling them ... this is recognition that you created them and its your responsibility to control or master them instead of the other way around.

 

There are a lot of good techniques for handling thought and emotions but first you have to take responsibility for them, and separate them from the outside triggers, when you have started to control and understand your reactions (emotion/thought) you can go back to the external circumstance or situation with clarity and strength. The idea is to validate and own these emotions and thought, not judge them it’s; "Ok now I'm doing sad, do I want to do sad? Yep, I don't mind, I’m going to sit here and do sad for while and comfort myself or no not just now I don't choose to feel sad, I choose happy, if its over whelming its ok I'll do you for half an hour and then you can nick off... creating an internal dialogue help you recognize yourself as separate from and the creator rather than the victim.

 

Hope you are getting better X

[DameBeverage]

Well, funny you should say that, I have just given advice similar in a different post. It is what I have just done because of being so overwhelmed with the situation I have explained above. I had to disconnect a bit from the situation and also not to communicate with others for a little while, even on here, a bit like meditation and then when feel ready, to return back to pick up and start again. I still have problems going out after such a prolonged experience, so that is what I am working on at the moment and find I do need to build it up. I also don't blame myself at all and just treat it as an experience and as a journey that just came off track for a while and then get back to my road that helps to manage things.

 

I even was able yesterday to email an energy company that was threatening to break in my flat to read the meter to explain that this would not be appropriate as I have a disability and that I expected them to accommodate my needs, which they had failed to do in their process. They wrote back today and offered any day and a two hour time slot window. RESULT!!! I feel very proud with myself, but it does take some time out to manage the emotions and the distress that it causes, so what does help me mainly is time out.

 

Now for my next challenge, which is my neighbour and the noise!!!!! I definitely need to think this one through due that I have explained to her already how it is affecting me, without seeing change and also because, to an extent, it is not her fault due to there being no sound proofing between flats. The emotions that come up when someone doesn't even try is very distressing though. Every experience, because they are different, seems to need the same amount of working out to deal with it appropriately.