Replying to 'I'm sorry'

[Mumble]

I started a thread sometime ago about people saying "I'm sorry". I never really got the underlying reason for saying this but understood that it's what people say, accepted that and let them carry on and even tried it myself a few times when it seemed to be what people wanted me to say.

 

As an extension to this, what is the expected response from me when someone says they're sorry?

 

Someone I knew died last week, and when I tell people, particularly as it's knocked me a bit and people can tell I'm not right and ask what's wrong, their reply is often "I'm sorry". I know this is a typical response, that's fine, I don't have any problem with them saying it, but I have no idea what to say back and it's led to some awkward silences. I'd like to know what's expected that I say (even if I don't mean it) just so they and I can feel more comfortable and the conversation can move on or we can leave rather than a situation where they're expecting me to say something and I don't know what to say.

[bid]

I think in this situation just a 'Thank you' is absolutely fine.

 

Bid <'> <'>

[Sammysnake]

I would simply say 'thanks' and then either talk about how I feel about it if that's what I want to do with this person or simply change the subject. They say 'I'm sorry' because they wish you didn't feel bad and you say 'thanks' back as a way of showing you appreciate that they care about your feelings. Hope that helps.

[justine1]

I usually say "thanks" or sometimes I say "its okay" or "I am okay" not sure if thats right it just comes out naturally.

[Kathryn]

I agree with the above - "thanks" would do. The other person may leave it to you to either elaborate on the subject or to change the subject altogether.

 

If someone told me some sad news I'd probably say "I'm sorry" then go on to ask how they were feeling now, which would automatically open up a conversation.

 

Conversations about death and loss are often awkward whether or not you have ASD, it's one of the taboo subjects we reserved Brits usually tiptoe carefully around, so try not to worry too much about saying the right thing. Honesty is usually the best way forward.

 

K x

[DameBeverage]

I usually say "thanks" or sometimes I say "its okay" or "I am okay" not sure if thats right it just comes out naturally.

 

Yes, these are all ones I use.

 

The worst thing that I get a bit puzzled about is when people say sorry, when there was nothing that happened in the first place, such as in the street. I've even got in a real bad habit saying sorry.

[Mumble]

Thanks everyone - I don't know why I didn't think of 'thank-you'. It sounds so simple now it's been explained.

 

They say 'I'm sorry' because they wish you didn't feel bad and you say 'thanks' back as a way of showing you appreciate that they care about your feelings.

Thanks for this explanation, it makes a lot of sense to me.