Help Needed to deal with Lack of Emotions

[Maurice]

Over the years, I have slowly rectified some of the grosser aspects of my condition. However, the one crucial aspect that severely blights the relationship between my wife and I, is my inhibited range of emotions. Tony Attwood very sensibly described in his book on Aspergers that on a scale of 1 to 10 for someone with Aspergers, there tends to be two settings - the lower end between one and two, and the top between nine and ten, and nothing in the middle. I rather feel that I fall into that category, as I tend to over-react and badly handle anger management because of this within me. Even though I am 70, I would still like to be able to moderate these reactions within me.

 

I don't know how others experience this, how frequent it occurs, and what have people done about it. I feel that to go to my local GP would be very counter-productive, let alone the fact that neither do I desire to have it publicised, nor can I get it officially diagnosed. I feel that the range of counselling on offer would not have the experience to deal with my needs. Consequently, I would like to know what I can tap into both to help myself and possibly help others.

 

Of course, the other important emotional aspect that Attwood mentions and Baron-Cohen examines in his Adult Asperger Assessment, is that of "Qualitative impairments in verbalor non-verbal communication". Or in other words, I really, really wish that things would occur to me that should occur to me spontaneously. Once again, I feel the ability to talk about this with someone other than my wife would truly be a great help.

 

Many thanks for any help

[bid]

It's probably more to do with problems recognising your emotions rather than not having them, IYSWIM.

 

You could try contacting the NAS, as they can give you a list of (private) professionals local to your area, who might be able to help with counselling/therapy for this issue, or even a diagnosis if you wanted this.

 

Bid

Edited January 28, 2011 by bid

[DameBeverage]

I have reverted to get away from a situation to give myself time to process it, because it is usually due to too much information that I don't understand. Emotions are information that needs working out and what can lead to feel the overload.

 

Why don't you talk to your family about putting a strategy in place to try. You could set up a time out time, rather than reacting immediately. You could say, give them a cue 'time out' and this would mean that people would leave you alone for a while so you can take whatever time you need to process things. I find going for a walk seems to help process things, even when I am not trying. But this depends how distressed I am, because traffic noise can add to it.

 

I think it is about learning what triggers it off. and also to have something in place that you know would calm you down or that gives you time to calm down. Everyone is different. Sometimes I put on heavy metal music, or disco dancy music, which gives a kind of break from the problem for a while, enough to calm down and be able to go back to it a bit more level headed. I have problems with communicating what I feel in words, so I need time to work out the wording as well, which might need me to write it down, so if I am pushed too far and not given space, this is when nothing works and I get distress, but I am only like it in extreme situations that are prolonged or when I am tired already and can't take too much. Hope this helps a bit.

Edited January 29, 2011 by DameBeverage