Is anyone here good at letter-writing...?

[Shrinking Violet]

Evening folks!

 

As the subject says, I'm REALLY rubbish at writing letters; I never know what to include, what to omit, whether I've said too much, said too little, etc., etc.

 

I'm still struggling with this GP business (I've really given up all hope of EVER finding ANY kind of support round here - it's blatantly obvious that none exists (I've checked numerous online directories of support for those with ASCs, and NOTHING is EVER listed for Buckinghamshire) so I think I'm going to have to just forget about it!)

 

Anyway, I received a letter from the PCT (or PCA as they appear to be calling themselves these days) allocating me a GP - good news...? You'd have thought so, wouldn't you, but this is the man who, 5 or so years ago, looked me in the eyes and informed me that "PCOS is a condition invented by fat women as an excuse not to lose weight." (I may have paraphrased slightly, but that was the general gist). Needless to say, to say I don't like him very much is a GROSS understatement! He doesn't really like me, either, so I really don't think there is ANY point me seeing him (he should have long-since retired, anyway as, according to his GMC entry, he qualified in 1965!!!)

 

That practice used to be full of men in their 50s/60s who seemed to be totally out of touch with reality and I found them to be quite brusque, abrupt, not very understanding, and this made me think twice about attending any appointments, as I am prone to anxiety (and I mean more than just white coat syndrome - it's got me a spell in the local psychiatric prison on more than one occasion (this is another reason I'm never able to attend A&E alone - I've been down there 3 times in the past and every time something has happened (even though I've attempted to explain things to the staff) and that's it, I find myself in Tindal!)

 

Anyway, on Friday I had another look at the practice's NHS Direct entry - no idea why - and found it had been updated (one of the old barstewards has obviously retired) and the name of a young female GP had been added (and I MEAN young, she only qualified about 3 years ago!)

 

Now I'd like to write to her, outlining my current health issues, and explaining that I have AS, etc. The thing is, I don't know what I should include in the letter (do I list all my current symptoms, for example). I've got something typed out in Word, but I don't know whether I've said the right things, is it too informal (it feels odd being overly formal with someone considerably younger than me (it even feels odd addressing her as 'Dr. Yeomans', considering she must only be about what 26? It just seems to sit better in my mind calling her by her name (Katherine) but, perhaps, that's not the right thing to do...).

 

I'm hoping what with her being young, and female (rather than old and male) she might be more sympathetic/empathetic/understanding and I might not need to have any support). I DO NOT want a male GP (there are reasons for this, but I don't wish to go into them at the moment...).

 

Could anyone help...? Read what I've already written and suggest additions/removals/changes, etc...? I really would LOVE to get sorted and get back to living a normal(ish) life again!

 

This could be the silver lining in the cloud - I hope!

 

I have contacted the PCA and informed them that I DO NOT wish to have anything to do with the GP, to whom I've been allocated (and told them the reasons why) but they have yet to respond to my email.

 

Thanks folkses!

 

Hugs,

 

Sarah xxx

[Kathryn]

I think once you're registered with a practice, you can ask to see anyone in that practice? I'm just going by my own experience when I registered with a new surgery: I was given the name of a GP I was officially allocated to but I can request to see any of the GP's - depending of course on availability as they all work different days. I have rarely seen "my" GP although I put his name down on official documents when I have to.

 

Even aside from your issues with this male GP, it's not uncommon for a woman to request to see a female GP, so most practices should try to accommodate that.

 

In my experience, women aren't necessarily better GP's than men, but youth might make a difference.

 

I don't have much time to analyse anything in detail but I'm happy to skim over what you've written and give you my general impression if it helps. You may also want to get the opinion of someone who has been in a similar situation to yourself and has presented a written summary to their own GP.

 

K x

[Shrinking Violet]

I think once you're registered with a practice, you can ask to see anyone in that practice? I'm just going by my own experience when I registered with a new surgery: I was given the name of a GP I was officially allocated to but I can request to see any of the GP's - depending of course on availability as they all work different days. I have rarely seen "my" GP although I put his name down on official documents when I have to.

 

Even aside from your issues with this male GP, it's not uncommon for a woman to request to see a female GP, so most practices should try to accommodate that.

 

In my experience, women aren't necessarily better GP's than men, but youth might make a difference.

 

I don't have much time to analyse anything in detail but I'm happy to skim over what you've written and give you my general impression if it helps. You may also want to get the opinion of someone who has been in a similar situation to yourself and has presented a written summary to their own GP.

 

K x

 

 

Thanks for replying, Kathryn, but I think you misunderstand (a little) I don't want this man to have ANYTHING to do with me; the fact he could even see my notes makes me feel physically sick! He has been responsible for having me imprisoned on more than one occasion - to give you an idea I SCREAMED the house down when I opened the letter and saw his name! He terrifies me THAT much. The thing is both the PCT and PALS know this, because I have communicated it to them, very 'vocally' in the past, so to allocate him to me, knowing what they know (and what they have on record - or SHOULD have on record) strikes me as being nothing short of sadism! They appear to want me to continue to suffer (why, I have no idea).

 

This is why I posted; I know you're very busy, but I hoped SOMEONE else but you're the only one who ever seems to respond to me (hence my post about not feeling I belong here; you respond because you feel you HAVE to, not because you WANT to - I understand that...)

 

I agree with what you say about female GPs. I had a real b*tch up in Liverpool. I have PCOS (as I've mentioned) and all the jollities which accompany it, including a thick beard.

 

I was registered with a practice in Liverpool, when I was sleeping rough up there in 2008 (I was thrown out of every single hostel I was placed in - the longest I lasted i one place was in a council-run one, and that was about 3 months. The problem was that NO one ever made any appointments to see me, they'd just 'turn up' (the hostel staff didn't even bother telling me they were here - these people used to just come and bang on my door - that even applied to the AS team from social services!) After I'd been there a week or so, they decided I was too much of a problem to be around the other girls, so they stuck me in an annexe where I was completely isolated. The staff never came to see me, unless I rang the office and requested it, and the other girls (I found out later) were warned off from having anything to do with me).

 

Anyway, I digress... I went to see this GP because I'd just been sexually assaulted by a moron who'd decided that I was a male to female transsexual (because I'm quite gaunt in the face, and have quite a prominent larynx, the facial hair doesn't help matters). Anyway, he shoved me up against a wall down an alley down the side of M&S, and stuck his hand down my jeans because, to use his words, he was "just checking" to see if I "still had a dick".

 

I couldn't even go and find a plod because, by that time, I'd been picked up on a 136 a couple of times (and they used to delight in making me panic even more - I STILL have a scar on my scalp where a sergeant decided to impress a young constable by stamping on my head).

 

Sorry - I'm still going OT (can't help it, wish I could...)

 

The conversation with the GP went like this.

 

Me: - Can you help me get rid of this (pointing to my face) - it's destroying my life (I then told her about the assault)

GP: - What do you expect me to do about it...?

Me: - Well, erm, do you think you could give me something to get rid of it...?

GP: - There's only Vaniqua (cream that's supposed to work by killing the hair at the follicle, but I've learnt from the Verity forum that it only really works if you don't have much to get rid of in the first place - it's useless on anyone with a significant amount (like me)).

Me: - I've tried that, it didn't work. Besides, it burnt my skin (it's quite aggressive and I have VERY sensitive skin (particularly on my face))

GP: - What do you mean "burnt your skin"?

Me: - Well, what I just said, it left horrible red marks all over my face which felt like sunburn.

GP: - Well that's all I can offer you. May I suggest you grow a thicker hide and learn not to be so sensitive...

Me: - What about laser? I know of people who are being treated on the NHS.

GP: - That's impossible! The NHS doesn't fund treatment for reasons of vanity.

 

I ran out of the surgery, into the alley down the road and just screamed my head off! VANITY...?! What's vain about wanting to feel feminine, to have self-confidence, self-belief and self-esteem? To look - and feel - 100% female, not like some hideous Frankenstein hybrid..? I got the distinct impression she didn't believe me about the assault, either...

 

So if there's ANYONE who could spare 30 minutes or so to help me, I'll be more than grateful! I've just GOT to get this sorted and GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!

 

Thank you for reading,

 

Hugs,

 

Sarah xxx

Edited February 7, 2011 by Tally

[Kathryn]

You've obviously been through a lot and I can't begin to understand what it feels like so I can only offer my sympathies for the bad experiences you've had.

 

Just to put you straight on one thing - I don't respond because I feel I have to - I only respond to posts when I feel I have something to say, and there are many threads I don't choose to contribute to. As for others' responses - be patient and stick around. Your situation is obviously quite difficult and it's possible people don't respond because they don't know what they can say to help, not because they don't care.

 

Although I can't offer much practical advice as I haven't been in your situation, I do know what constitutes clear written communication and that's what you asked for help with. So the offer to look over your letter and say if it looks OK or not, still stands. But I won't be offended if you choose not to take it up.

 

K x

[RainbowsButterflies]

I'll have a look if you want Sarah...