genie Report post Posted February 22, 2011 Hello all, I applied to this forum as for many years I have suspected both myself and my daughter have some sort of social phobia and possibly Asperger related. I did the aspe quiz the other day and the results came back that it was likely I was aspie. How reliable do you think these on-line tests are likely to be? I'm not interested in getting an official diagnoses for either myself or my daughter as I suppose I'm just not agreeable with labels and can't see the benefit of it for us ( though I appreciate for others its seen as a positive and helpful thing ). My daughter is an ( emotiaonly based ) school refuser...she's been like it on and off since primary school and is now suffering a severe bout in year 11 and right in the middle of GCSE's. She wants to go to college and has a place on an art course ( provisional ) she has a totally different attitude to college, though she is generally of a nervous and anxious disposition...( just like myself and my mother actually ). I have worked hard over the years ( I am now 45 ) to formulate my own coping mechanisms and have 'taught' myself to behave in certain ways socially, so much so that most people are totally surprised when I say I find most social situations hard to deal with. Most people say I come accross as confident ( though many describe me also as 'aloof'- which is a bit hurtful because I don't mean to be )..it does boost my self esteem when people say they think I am confident though, as it means my 'pretence' at being 'normal' has worked. I find I need to practice this though. I did a degree and qualified in BA sociology last year. I have been out of work since though, and at home, so things have become more difficult and the job market is totally different now to what it was at other times when I've had jobs...so I can feel myself losing 'grip' again....especially with all the stress of my d refusing school at such a crucial time. I did consider home ed. on several occasions but at the time couldn't make that leap of faith, though I do regret it, its too late in the day to contemplate it now ( only about 50 days before d leaves school ! - hurrah !! ). Mainly, I'd like to know about the reliability of the aspie quiz and wondered what other people thought about it and if there is anyone with children who school refuse because of aspergers or anything else? many thanks for reading this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
genie Report post Posted February 22, 2011 ..just to add, not sure why it says Norfolk Broads next to my name....I'm actually in the Midlands. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
munty13 Report post Posted February 22, 2011 Hi genie. I should imagine that if you see yourself in the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's, having spent years not understanding why you feel so different to most people, and the description of symptoms for Asperger's finally explains everything about your behaviour which you find puzzling, then there's probably a good chance you are on the autistic spectrum. I would say that it is important to trust yourself, and your own feelings about whether or not you fulfill the criteria for Asperger's. Chances are, you're the best person to ask whether or not you have the condition. It can be pretty frustrating trying to get a diagnosis from experts who tell you they are not totally sure you have Asperger's, and you have to set about trying to convince them. Sounds like you're not too bothered by needing an official diagnosis anyways, but I'm sure learning about Asperger's will give you a lot of answers to questions you might have about your behaviour, or your daughter's. I can't imagine there being that many people clambering for a diagnosis of Asperger's, unless they felt that they needed help managing the condition. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
munty13 Report post Posted February 22, 2011 ..just to add, not sure why it says Norfolk Broads next to my name....I'm actually in the Midlands. Don't worry. For whatever reason, the forum dumps you into some idyllic part of the British countryside, and expects you to report from there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 22, 2011 Don't worry. For whatever reason, the forum dumps you into some idyllic part of the British countryside, and expects you to report from there. It relates to how many posts you have made...Norfolk broads = flat= only a few posts, and so on... Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charlotte Report post Posted February 22, 2011 hi i am from east sussex but living in essex at present as studying a masters in speech therapy. I have AS and refused school on and of from the age of 9 and right through my GCSE's and now i am doing a postgrad uni course full time intensive taught at uni without missing a day! when i started going to college it made all the difference. happy to chat to you and or your daughter via private message or maybe even meet up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
genie Report post Posted February 23, 2011 Hello Charlotte, many thanks for your post. That's lovely to hear that you are now embarking on education after all you have been through. I do have a feeling that my daughter will cope much better away from compulsory schooling. May I ask, did you know why you refsed school? Was it one thing or many. I suspect its many with my daughter, the crowds, the being herded like cattle, the feeling nobody is interested in connecting with you ( teachers ) and often now in ye 11 her peers too who leave her out of social activities ( which although timid about doing, upsets her )...the noise, being in an evaluative situation ( by teachers and peers )...a feeling of no self esteem.....lots and lots of things I think ! My daughter now won't speak to me on the mornings she refuses school. There is no getting through to her she will lie in her bed motionless and mute...I suppose waiting for me to shut up, go away and stop lecturing her...which I have more or less done. Usually if I ask her again a couple of hours later she will go in in the afternoons. thanks for getting in touch, would be good to hear a bit about your experience and how about the school?...were they helpful at all? regards Genie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pradeep Report post Posted February 23, 2011 hi Genie,just like to tell you about my (now 19 year old) daughter who had a terribly depressing time at school,she just didnt "connect",she had a couple of friends,but they too were wall flowers like my daughter and were considered freaks by the rest-my daughter was lonely,sad but despite this scraped through with a handful of GCSES,had a year off due to all the built up stress over the years,then went to college where again she found things stressful.Now she is on anti-depressants and we feel we should have pushed her GP and got her seen to a lot earlier,she was probably depressed from year 8/9 onwards at high school.HOWEVER,there is light at the end of the tunnel;she has gone on to uni,found it fairly tough to begin with as she has always found it difficult to connect to people,but she is surrounded by other students who UNDERSTAND her,and for the first time she seems to be enjoying life-stick in there Genie,things will eventually turn round for your daughter. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charlotte Report post Posted February 24, 2011 It was a mixture of things I feel partly bullying, partly sensory and social issues and it is interesting that she will go in in the afternoon as I would not go at all and my parents were told to physically force me to go to school. In the end I got 5 hours a week home tuition. The schools tried their best but half the problem was nobody really knew what was wrong and I was not diagnosed. If she would like to email me privatly she is very welcome. I would not say anything constructive only cry or shout and baracade myself in my bedroom. It could be the case that she is so overloaded at that time she is physically unable to speak, I have been like that. Charlotte Hello Charlotte, many thanks for your post. That's lovely to hear that you are now embarking on education after all you have been through. I do have a feeling that my daughter will cope much better away from compulsory schooling. May I ask, did you know why you refsed school? Was it one thing or many. I suspect its many with my daughter, the crowds, the being herded like cattle, the feeling nobody is interested in connecting with you ( teachers ) and often now in ye 11 her peers too who leave her out of social activities ( which although timid about doing, upsets her )...the noise, being in an evaluative situation ( by teachers and peers )...a feeling of no self esteem.....lots and lots of things I think ! My daughter now won't speak to me on the mornings she refuses school. There is no getting through to her she will lie in her bed motionless and mute...I suppose waiting for me to shut up, go away and stop lecturing her...which I have more or less done. Usually if I ask her again a couple of hours later she will go in in the afternoons. thanks for getting in touch, would be good to hear a bit about your experience and how about the school?...were they helpful at all? regards Genie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jessicaanne Report post Posted September 4, 2011 Hello there, I am new here too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
indiscreet Report post Posted September 5, 2011 Hi Jessicanne - good to meet you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
