Hi

[Aspermum_of_4]

Hi, I am new here - I'm a 32 year old mum of four, and have just been diagnosed with Asperger's - my 11 year old son was diagnosed when he was 8, and it's through his diagnosis that we began to ask questions about my life, my depressions - and all the problems I've had! Not sure how I feel at the moment about it - in some ways I'm hugely relieved, because I have always known that I'm not like everyone else. In other ways I feel a bit scared of the future, because obviously if there's a reason for my problems then they're not going to be fixable as I first thought.

 

I've not been able to work yet, and obviously with four kids this puts a lot of financial strain on my husband. I was wondering if there are any other people like me out there who have been able to successfully hold down a job - if so I would love to hear from you with any ideas that could help?

 

I'll leave it at that for now - have been thinking about posting on here since I joined last week, but been feeling very low the last few days so never got round to it. Looking forward to speaking to some like minded people.

 

Helen.

[bid]

Hi and welcome to the forum

 

I am another woman, who was diagnosed when I was 41 on the suggestion of my youngest's paediatrician. I have 4 children too, the eldest is a young adult with AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia.

 

I went back to work when my eldest went to a residential special school, after a career break of 12 years as his primary carer. I didn't have any choice about returning to work, as I lost my Carers Allowance and most of my son's DLA when he went to residential school, so financially we needed me to work. I started off part-time, then when my youngest went into Reception, I started full-time.

 

I am a team leader on the night staff at a local residential special school.

 

I got my job because while I was at home with the children I still did a lot of voluntary stuff, mainly with a local charity for children with special needs (plus a stint as Brownie Guider ). This voluntary work had given me experience with children with special needs, and I was lucky enough to get the first job I applied for.

 

If you are anxious about working, I think voluntary work is excellent, because there is no pressure so you can always take a break or stop altogether. It's also good for letting you see if you really would like to do a particular job, again without any long-term commitment.

 

HTH

 

Bid

[smiley1590]

i was going to say the same about voluntary work find an area of career you'd are interested and like and research also i did volunteering for 4 hrs on fridays and now i work part time as bank staff so can lead to jobs as shows your qualities and skills and gets you used to work place environment and gets adjusted to colleagues etc

 

would also maybe help your depressive mood via volunteering as keep mind active and busy also give you routine outside your kids it would give you self esteem/confidence make you feel you have purpose make you feel worth.

 

good luck

 

XKLX

[Tally]

Hi Helen and welcome to the forum.

 

I am an adult with Asperger's, but I do not have any children.

 

Have you looked into Disability Living Allowance (DLA) for yourself or your son at all? If you are entitled to this it might ease some of your financial pressures.

 

You're right that Asperger's is not curable, but you can always learn new skills. Understanding the root cause of your difficulties gives you a much stronger starting point to do this. So there is hope for the future.

[RainbowsButterflies]

Hi and welcome.

 

I am also an adult with Aspergers, and I have two children - I suspect my daughter (3) also has AS.

[Aspermum_of_4]

Thankyou for the nice welcome - you've all given me a lot to think about, and hopefully things will look better soon. Certainly my 11 yr old son who has AS is an inspiration to me when I see the anxieties he overcomes so I'm going to keep my head up and try harder