Getting hit...too much...

[Andy]

We have a lovely natured 6 year old boy. He has an ASD diag, and attends an ASD centre within a mainstream primary. e shared his ASD class with another 5 children.

 

He can be loud, often hyper, but he has never lashed out or struck anyone(only himself ina a total meltdown when he was younger).

 

The problem is that he is coming home with bruises, cuts and scratches more and more often.

 

Just last week we had three separate incidents across three days. The first was unwitnessed by the teachers, but he had scratches in his ear and down the side of his face.

 

 

The second incdident, the school phoned to say that DS had been kicked in the face, by another boy who had a meltdown.

 

The third incident happened the very next day, we dropped DS into his classroom, the other boy ran over and in front of us and the teachers and hit DS hard in the face.

 

He is in a class with 6 other ASD children. The school are always extremely apologetic, and i pleased with the education that DS receives.

 

Now, i appreciate we are lucky that we have a place in an ASD centre, and that these young children are all trying to deal with the frustrations in different ways, but how can i make sure that DS has more protection in school?

 

We have an annual review coming up and i need to raise this. It is not fair that he keeps getting hit kicked or scratched. It does seem to be one child in particular.

 

I don't want to rant, and i appreciate that my child and others all deal with things differently, that their emotional skills are not mature and that certain allowances and made in a great deal of areas every day. But surely when another child is physically hurt three times in a week somthing has to be done?

 

I do not know how to raise this without upsetting anyone.

 

When we raised it before we told, "yes, but it doesn't happen very often does it?". Well thats not the case anymore, and personally i would think being kicked or hit in the face even once was too much.

 

Thanks

[JsMum]

Hi Andy

 

As your son is been reguarly injured and harmed you have every right to be upset and concerned.

 

My son is very unpredictable and requires full time one to one the one to one is to keep others safe and also himself safe from other children who could also respond in similair ways to J, so first of all I would be requesting what is the Child Ratio in the classroom and if this particular boys who has assualted your son has one to one support.

 

My son can he restrained if he attempts to physically harm someone.

 

I would want to know what are the consequences of any attack so it is clear to the children that hitting someone is wrong.

 

Is there any behavioural stratagies that are been put in place for Children with communication impairments that may lead to frustration, visual communucations, activities for distraction purposes, social skills to enhance social introductions, maybe this other boy doesnt deal very well when children enter the classroom or similair, maybe you could suggest that staff monitor and record the other boys behaviour more closely if this seems to be a trigger for the other boy when your child enters the classroom.

 

I would definately write down your concerns to the HT and the SENCO, and CC it to your sons Peadatrition, GP and SEN manager of your LEA so everyone is aware that your son is recieving injuries at school otherwise this could lead to allegations that he recieves else where, so make it clear that the injuries are happening at school.

 

I would definately not do anything, that wont protect your son.

 

JsMumx

[baddad]

Hi Andy -

 

Don't think you should feel uncomfortable about raising this at the meeting at all. If it's happening more frequently then obviously whatever measures are being taken to control the problem aren't working, and some new strategies need to be put in place. It is really good to hear that you're not expecting the school to work miracles and are being understanding about the other kids problems too, but it is in no way unreasonable to want a more proactive response on the school's part to minimise and reduce such incidents. I'm sure the school will agree with that too.

I think how you approach it is important too. Having had similar scenarios on my own 'watch' I would recommend taking someone with you who knows the score but isn't quite so emotionally involved. That way if you do find it's getting hard to maintain your emotional 'distance' they can talk for you while you gather your thoughts (and temper). I don't think for a minute that the school will try to brush you off, but I do suspect they'll be feeling a bit defensive and that can lead to misunderstandings on both sides.

If you've got any ideas of your own, write them down and take them with you. If the school haven't got any better ideas but are reluctant to try yours, it's entirely reasonable to ask them to explain why they might be impractical, and what they will be doing instead.

 

Just tell them your concerns matter of factly. It sounds like you have a good working relationship / communication with them generally and that with this exception they're getting things right for your son. That's a brilliant baseline for both sides, so I'm sure you'll find some solutions.

 

Very best with it

 

L&P

 

BD

[JsMum]

Are the injuries logged in at the ASD Unit, an inncedence book or similair where it details what happened, injuries, treatement with date, time and then you have to sign it?

 

You could do a similair book for home if you notice any new injuries occur so it can be passed on to the unit.

 

JsMumx

[Lynden]

Hi there

 

I think it's quite normal as a parent to want to protect your own child. What kind of staff/child ratios are there in the unit? I know each child has individual issues but if the same child is repeatedly hitting another child then it is something school need to deal with as they have a duty to protect all their pupils.

 

L is in a SN school and was in a class a few years ago with a child who repeatedly pinched/pulled hair/touched him. It wasn't malicious at all on the part of the other little boy but it was becoming a huge issue for L, it was making him anxious and he was stressed going into class, and he would lash out at adults next to him when the other little boy got too close. School were really on the ball and the two were kept apart where ever possible. Obviously being in the same class they had to share a space, but staff made sure the other little boy didn't get into Ls personal space. They have been placed in separate classes for the past two years although they still need to do shared activities at times and school still constantly watch that they don't get too close.

 

Lynne

[Andy]

Many thanks for the suggestions.

 

The ratio seems to be 2, sometimes 3 staff members to the 6 children. DS cannot change classes as this is a small centre that caters for ASD children within a mainstream primary. The only way they could be separated would be if one of them were to be successfully integrated into the mainstream class. At present, DS has real difficulty controlling his volume and would be too disruptive for mainstream classes.

 

I hope to take some of the helpful pointers from here: What are the consequences when a child strikes another child. etc. We have never been asked to sign an accident or incident book, so i would like to know that these incidents are being recorded. I need also to convey that the incidents are making DS very anxious about going to school.

 

Thanks everyone!

[lizj]

I think that you are justified in being concerned, particularly that the incidents are being logged. If the unit is a good one, you can probably be confident that the problem is not just being ignored, but that the staff are dealing with it. They might not tell you what action is being taken or discuss it with you, for reasons of confidentiality. But as the parent of a child who was sometimes responsible for aggressive behaviour in a special school, as well as a victim, I can assure you that they will be trying to do something. You will of course appreciate that the other pupils involved have serious and complex problems, and that things will not get better overnight.

In the meantime, make sure that your son understands the importance of reporting all incidents to a member of staff - it's surprising how often they think the teacher knows what has happened when they actually don't.

[Karen A]

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-education-for-parents/Anti_Bullying/tackling-bullying

 

Hi.

I thought this link might be useful.I do not intend to lable the situation as bullying because it may very well not be.However the information is the most useful I have found on keeping a record of incidents and documenting them so as to be able to take up the issue with school in a way that is more likely to be viewed positively.

 

It is certainly worth raising at the AR.Having done Ben's today I am very aware how worthwhile it can be to flag things with a team when the oppurtunity is there.

 

Karen.

Edited March 11, 2011 by Karen A