dannyboy Report post Posted March 22, 2011 hi all after months of vicious arguments, family therapy, (the list goes on) my wife has been to see her gp. i am now very nervous, as we have had terrible difficulties over the last year or so (thats not to say the last ten years havent been difficult) and i have hung my hat on autism being the main problem in repsect of our communication difficulties. we are not talking and so she has emailed me to say that her gp says she (eileen) seems fine to her and wld like us to meet up together. blame seems to play a huge part of the game in the relationship and over the last year ive deflected most of it which has caused untold problems. there has been hitting, screaming, smashing things, ripping books, ignoring the kids (we have 4 under 11) feelings etc, etc. we have been to family therapy because harvey my son (who is extremely bright) is having attitude problems with teachers at school. although my wife was the first to mention autism as perhaps the reason she has problems (she has also taken the online tests) she is now adamant this isnt the issue in our relationship. lack of emotional reciprocity and inability to deal with responsibilities within the marriage are the main problems for me and having taken the soft, caring approach for ten years i realised it was getting me nowhere. im now confronted by a wild animal (who inside i can tell is hurting) who says she is intent on separation and divorce. however today she went to the gp and now (aggressively) wants me to go along? my question is: im nervous, what if im wrong, what if it s something else, what if she doesn t love me, what if she doesnt know what love is, what if my emotional withdrawl this year has ruined the relationship for good? is she going to the doctors because my resolution to the idea has made her think twice or she s simply keen to disprove me? eileen is extremely bright, beautiful, articulate and funny. however she has always refused to talk about, money, child rearing, relationships and sex. everything that to me, holds any value? look forward - keenly - to any comments anyone might have? dan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mygifts1306 Report post Posted March 22, 2011 its a hard one, better to go along and see gp. hope something gets sorted. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) It might be better if you went to the GP alone, at least initially. Then you would feel free to speak openly, especially about your concerns for the emotional well-being of your children. I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but if your wife did go ahead with separation and divorce as you mention in your other post, would you want custody of your children? If so, then I think you need to be expressing your concerns for them to people like the GP, so that you start to have your concerns formally recorded. TBH, from what you have written here and in your earlier post, it would seem to me that the emotional well-being of your children should be absolutely paramount, above your concern for your wife in a way. You say her mother beat your wife...do you think she might hurt your children too? Hang in there Danny <'> Bid <'> Edited March 25, 2011 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
