Gadget control

[netty]

Hi,

 

I have a 17 year old son with Aspergers.

 

Can any one tell me if they have found a way of controlling the electrical devices in bedrooms, IE. TV , video, DVDs. At the moment my son is awake all night and sleeping all day. He spends all night watching TV or DVDs or gaming. Does any one know of a device which will give me remote control of these gadgets so that i can close them down at set time at night. I know i could take every thing away but this will cause additional problems because my son gets very upset if people touch his things. I really would like to deal with this in as non confrontational way as possible.

[JsMum]

I dont know of any remote, but you could try MAPLIN an electronic centre.

 

J slept in his sensory room that had no DVDS, TVS, Consoles, in there, he still didnt sleep until the early hours though. He has a games room where all his TVs, Consoles go.

 

At his resi school they are not allowed TV, DVD, Consoles in thier BED rooms and they have to earn points to be able to use the lounge consoles, dvd, tv the way they earn there points is by obeying and following thier daily routine.

 

My sons respite provision he does have TV, DVD, Consoles in his bedroom but if he where to use them after 10pm it would be removed no matter how confrontational he became as they are trained in PRI and dealing with challenging beahviour, were as mothers like you and myself we are not trained in these techneques and have to manage big strapping young people so I do understand you want a non confrontational method.

 

What about contacting your local NAS centre to see if there is any outreach Autism services that could help with more ideas.

 

When J was home (Jay is in care now) and he was asleep all day and up all night it was a horrible situation that I wouldnt want to repeat as it had a knock on effect to my own scedules such as meal times, shopping, activities, it wasnt healthy way of living, Jay looked tired, washed out, and our time together was fraught due to Jay not obeying the rules, so I do understand, since he has been in respite full time he is back into a day time routine and looking well.

 

Does he have any form of daily routine.

 

JsMumxx

Edited May 24, 2011 by JsMum

[baddad]

Hi Netty -

 

If he gets upset when other people touch his things, ask him to put them away at night himself. If by 'upset when people touch his things' you actually mean he becomes angry or aggressive when asked to stop playing or watching, and your desire to be 'non-confrontational' is actually an avoidence strategy to stop him becoming confrontational I don't think a remote control will help.

 

A timetable/established routines/boundaries and expectations is probably the only long term solution. It's harder when they're seventreen than seven, I know, but ultimately trying to be 'non-cofrontational' on his terms is only putting off the inevitable.

 

L&P

 

BD

[bid]

Hi Netty,

 

Absolutely agree with BD on this one...it's a much more valuable life-lesson for your son to learn to behave within set boundaries, than for his electrical stuff to turn itself off magically at bedtime.

 

Bid

[Kathryn]

It's going to be an uphill task to change things I fear, as your son is nearly adult and has been in this pattern for a long time. Turning off the gadgets will probably just infuriate him, and if he is technically minded he would probably work out what you've done anyway and find a way round it. I had a home educating friend who would let her 5 year old son play on the computer for hours at a time. When she wanted him to come off she would turn it off at the plug in another room. She spun him the story that the computer had a fault and he accepted it but I remember thinking that one day he would get wise to that and put an end to that strategy!

 

Why do you want your son's behaviour to change? Is it that his activities disturb the rest of the house at night, or that he can't get up in the morning? You need to be clear about this and communicate it to him before you can work together to find a solution. If he disturbs the house can he put the gadgets on mute, if he can't get up when he needs to - could you turf him out of bed in the morning - a wet sponge on the face and a very loud alarm clock help. If he's sleeping all day he isn't going to be very tired at night.

 

I sympathise - my 22 year old's preferred pattern is up all night, asleep all day. I've accepted there is little I can do at this stage to control that. When she was 15 I used to lock the door to the computer room at night, but now we have wifi and she has her own laptop I can't do that any more! She seems to be able to get through the day somehow when she has to, and she has become a bit better at keeping the noise down at night so the rest of us can sleep.

 

K x