This was quite interesting on another AS forum...

[Lynden]

I think that's unfair. I think BD can be direct, and he can have set views which I sometimes agree with, sometimes don't, but dangerous? I don't think so. He is right on this occasion though - it's being said that he can't speak for those with AS, but no one, even those of you on the spectrum can speak for anyone else on the spectrum as every individuals persons experience is unique.

 

With regard to the individual poster, I agree with BD and Mumble who both suggest that there are far more issues than just AS. AS can't be to blame for everything that is wrong in a persons life.

 

Lynne

[indiscreet]

For most of my life I didn't know about AS. I thought that all my troubles and problems were my fault but I did struggle to fit in and adapt to the world around me. Still, I basically saw myself as a failure and for much of the time - especially when I was younger - I lived in a kind of grey area of depression. After diagnosis last year (well after my retirement age) knowing that I wasn't to blame for my difficulties, that in fact I had coped extremely well, was like a burden being lifted off my back.

 

I have no way of knowing if being diagnosed when I was younger would have given me a happier life. Maybe I wouldn't have struggled so hard to fit in to what I now know is a neurotypical world, which in so many ways is like a foreign country to those on the spectrum, or maybe if I hadn't struggled to fit in I wouldn't have succeeded as well as I did.

 

I don't know, it's all so complicated and since the degree of AS varies from individual to individual who can really say how they should look at life. It must be heartbreaking in many ways to have a child on the spectrum and watch them struggle and not be certain of the best way to help them.

[darkshine]

I think that's unfair. I think BD can be direct, and he can have set views which I sometimes agree with, sometimes don't, but dangerous? I don't think so. He is right on this occasion though - it's being said that he can't speak for those with AS, but no one, even those of you on the spectrum can speak for anyone else on the spectrum as every individuals persons experience is unique.

 

With regard to the individual poster, I agree with BD and Mumble who both suggest that there are far more issues than just AS. AS can't be to blame for everything that is wrong in a persons life.

 

Lynne

 

I wasn't disagreeing with most of the discussion, I thought bd had some brilliant points in his posts to hughey, where I got angry is when he told me what i do and don't know, in all my posts I have talked generally, not specifically, i obviously cannot speak for any parent and nor was i claiming to do so, i was just expressing the experience i have had with people i know.

 

As for my other comments, i was one of the few people who saw that modded post and it was absolutely shocking the way another member was so vehemently attacked. now, maybe the justification is that some people are ignorant... well I've always believed that it is better to teach than condemn

 

I don't understand why its ok for me to be accused and not be allowed to defend myself

 

Also I have no problem whatsoever with directness, and I have observed the respect that bd has on here, which is why I'm disillusioned, everyone says his help is brilliant, but all I've felt is judged and scorned and to be honest I don't need anyone for that, i can do that well enough by myself...

 

The really sad thing is that I'll end up feeling sorry for saying what I said and I'm not so sure that I should, i think it needed to be said.

[Mumble]

I haven't generalised about who I am cuz of ASPERGER'S - which although is on the spectrum is NOT autism

Asperger's is Autism. If you have Asperger's, you are Autistic.

[darkshine]

........

Edited May 28, 2011 by darkshine

[bid]

Can I just point out that some of us, including me, have a dx of AS and a child with a dx of ASD too!

 

Also, I think the comments about BD have been unfair too...and gawd knows I've had my arguments with him!!

 

I would also like to echo Mumble's earlier post...what is the point of wasting your energy hating something that you can't change, instead of using that energy as many of us do, in order to make the best go you can of living a productive, positive life?

 

And sorry Darkshine, but diagnostically AS is autism, and you increasingly find ASD as the dx rather than HFA/AS.

 

Bid

Edited May 28, 2011 by bid

[darkshine]

 

the more i say the worse i make it!!!!

 

 

I may not be many things but i know when to quit for one day

[baddad]

My carer told me he read a few of your posts and thinks your a condescending, judgemental and dangerous person.

 

 

And on the basis of a few of my posts he's concluded that? What a condescending, judgemental and dangerous person! I'd also hazzard a guess at patronising too, because in my experience the majority of carers are. The good ones (there are some out there) are worth their weight in gold, and you can spot them easily because every person they work with grows and develops as a consequence of knowing them...

 

I happen to think casual diagnosis is a very VERY dangerous thing, which is, I assume, the other post you're refering to...

 

As far as it goes there is no such thing as 'undiagnosed autistic' in the context in which it is being increasingly applied - i.e. when someone with absolutely no qualifications whatsoever and only a passing knowledge of the disability garnered from a couple of books or internet articles or the facebook diagnosis app decides they are an 'undiagnosed autistic' or makes such an assumption and projects it onto a third party. The term 'undiagnosed autistic' can only accurately be used either retrospectively, or in general terms as in the phrase 'there are probably many undiagnosed autistics in the population'. If feeling that/stating that makes me condescending and judgemental I'll put my hand up, but I see it as common sense... I've not got a problem with people suspecting they might be on the spectrum or asking advice about diagnosis, but actually making the diagnosis and then seeking reinforcement from people who've never even met the casually diagnosed person to back it up while ignoring/shouting down any contradictory evidence goes beyond condescending and judgemental and Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy into the territory of 'dangerous'. Think about it - if you can come up with any reason why casual diagnosis isn't dangerous - either for the person being 'diagnosed' or by implication for the rest of the autistic community who are becoming increasingly identified by what people think autism means rather than the diagnostic criteria that actually defines it I'd be happy to listen.

 

Sadly, I don't think casual diagnosis is the only thing undermining the prospects/opportunities and lives of autistic people that's arisen in the last decade or so, but as discussing any of those issues tends to be a bit of a hot potato too i'll let it pass for now...

 

I'm sorry you've felt 'judged and scorned' but one thing I'm sure you'll agree you haven't felt you've been by me is patronised. or maybe that's the problem?

 

Having been told several times by someone who's never met me or my son, and who, quite frankly, comes across as having very little insight into the nature of even their own problems, that I'm incapable of 'knowing how he feels/will feel', I kind of took exception to you answering on behalf of parents 'like me' (as you say, you were talking in general terms) who have to

watch their children suffer knowing there's sod all they can do about it

, because I don't think my son 'suffers' beyond, as I said, the limitations and judgements that others impose upon him and I happen to think there's quite a lot I can do about it...

 

Laila - How on EARTH did you reach any sort of conclusion about me having a problem with 'women'? If you've noticed I take exception to women casually diagnosing their boyfriends and husbands you really have put two and two together and come up with five... sort of the point I make in those posts, in fact! I actually take equal exception to men making casual diagnoses of their girlfriends or wives, but there do tend to be far less of those so you wouldn't notice without a good trawl through the forum.

 

Anyhoo...

 

L&P

 

BD

[Kathryn]

I think this discussion has become somewhat heated and personal and has run its course so I'm closing this thread now.

 

Kathryn