Advice on teens Please !!

[loulou1971]

Hi everyone I'm new to this site so id like to just say hi to everyone firstly !

It would be great if anyone here could offer me some information/advice in regards my son Alex, hes 18 years old and has Aspergers and mild learning dis, for the past 10 years he has been living with is father in the south and I have had as much contact as possible but live in norfolk (so not as often as id like).

After years of trying, he is finally coming to live with me and his half siblings this summer, he is enroled at the local college and will start a 1 year course this sept, the college are aware of his As, however other than that I'm not sure what else I should be sorting out for him ? He does have some anger issues which I would if possible like to get him some support for but im not sure if or what kind of support is out there if any? It would also be really helpful if anyone could tell me what if any benifits he may be entitaled to as im concerned that finding any form of work could be really diffcult for him later on!

when I was with his father I knew who to contact and what was out there for him, but I now feel that I have no idea where to start and I want to try and support him in the best way I can, I would be sooooo greatful for any infomation/advice!!

Thanks Louise

[philipo]

Obviously moving will be a big stressor so helping veiw the new surroundings in a positive way will mean a few months of extra energy for your family.I think its important to keep him focussed socially and help him get the positives of being in a group of new freinds and not let him slip/retreat into seclusion.Anger issues are for everyone,being able and feeling secure to express negative feelings within the family should be encouraged.Everyones different but just keep on the positives and encourage your family's awareness of percepual issues with aspie/asd whatever and it should be a very enriching time for all your family.Just try to keep your feet on the ground and differentiate between (d)isability issues and normal teenagerdom/moving home/new enviroment issues and resist the temptaion to be too forgiving.It sounds really good that he can be with his siblings,in the same house there's no such thing as half siblings.

You may be able to get disability help and money/support from the colledge and if your las needs medical support it may be worth seeing the gp early before he moves so they can find a little time to read any notes.he may be able to get some supervision sessions through the colledge disability service.The biggest most positive factor will be getting him to feel part of the family.Good luck and welcome to the forum,its the best place to be.

[loulou1971]

Thank you so much for your swift reply, its great to get some positive feedback ! I'm happy with the college and they seem really set up to meet his needs, its just the normal worries i have i.e will he make friends etc but the normal anxiety is heightened somewhat. Great advice in regards the G.P.il get on to it.

Thanks again x

[6catsinhehouse]

hi my younger stepson is 19 and aspie, like most teens he sleeps a lot, dosent talk much, can be very charming when hes after something, and when it comes to behaviour some of the things he does are because of his aspergers but some things that i know hes perfectly capable of doing i remind him to do them, he is also at college but a residential one so i dont know if his benefits are different but he gets EMA during term and DLA at middle rate, but dosent get the transport component because he is capable of getting public transport on his own hope this has been of some use

[6catsinhehouse]

oh sorry and depending on how sociable he is normally your son will probably make friends when he goes to college liam has more friends now than when he was at secondary education stage (mainly cos he refusaed to attend)

[JsMum]

Hi Louise first a warm welcome.

 

I would look into what provisions and services are available in your area for example something similair to this.

 

 

http://www.asperger.org.uk/what-we-offer/services.asp

 

http://www.asperger.org.uk/what-we-offer/services-social-groups.asp

 

http://www.asperger.org.uk/about-aea/links.asp

 

 

I would also recommend you access a Welfare Rights Service in your area who can look at all the benefits your son may be entitled to.

 

The links above may have community based ones but National Autistic Society have a Welfare Rights service also.

http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/welfare-rights-service.aspx

 

Your son maybe able to access communication aids and ICT to assist him with his college course to enquire at the college about any disability grants.

 

I would also contact your local council and discuss activities and social events that put on over the summer holidays for Adults with special needs.

 

You could request an Assessment of his needs that looks at their needs and puts together a care plan with details of provisions and services.

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/benefits-and-community-care/care-and-benefits-for-parents-and-carers/care-support-for-children-with-autism.aspx

 

Regaurding the Anger issues you could request a referral to the Adults Mental Health Team who can assess his emotional and mental health needs and request in writing that your son recieve some Anger Management.

 

If you do not want to go throw the NHS there are private services such as the Anger Management and recommend thier book too, also look at hiring or purchasing books that look at Anger with Asperger Syndrome or Disabilities aimed at Adolescents/Adults.

 

http://www.angermanage.co.uk/

http://www.beatinganger.com/

 

There are courses for parents to attend but they can be expensive but so can replacing doors and furniture so it could be an investment.

 

I would defo recommend the Beating Anger by Mike Fisher.

 

I am hoping to attend some of the courses in September/October.

 

Look at books aimed at Adults with Aspergers Syndrome Tony Attwood has some good ideas on a TOOL BOX which you invent to ensure you have the tools to deal with Anger/frustration/feelings.

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Adult+Aspergers+Syndrome&x=14&y=13

 

It only hit me this week that one day my adolescent young lad will soon be an Adult.

 

Is is going to be a really exciting time for all of you, my last advise is to have somewhere in the house that is just for him, a corner of a room or seperate room/shed/tent that is soley for him so he can have somewhere to go for his own space kit it out with beanbags/relaxer chairs/books/magazines/music somewhere he can chill out but not have to hide in his bedroom, a special place he can chill out in.

 

Have a daily, visualised timetable up especially as its the holidays now and keep to a daytime routine.

 

All the very best and really nice to meet you.

 

JsMumx

Edited July 14, 2011 by JsMum

[loulou1971]

Hi all thank you so much for your advice and links to further information !This is a great forum and i'm sure I will be visiting often, thanks again x

[darkshine]

Hello,

 

All I would add, is that when a member of the family moves in, it is best to lay out any ground rules of your house to begin with so they are clear and consistent and so that he knows where he stands and what to expect. It can save a lot of time if any issues crop up in the future regarding these things.

 

Best

Darkshine