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Mother of Teen Daughter with ASD

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Hello All! :):) I need help please, My daughter 14 yrs old with Aspergers ASD, I want to help her persistently to make a friend, she is very lonley and Isolated she has always had a hard time making friends and is shy and lacks the social skills, she looks normal and lovely girl. Would be a great to find any local parents with autistic youth daughters to chat to or maybe meet up with. we are live in south west London, please feel free to contact me


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Hi London 11 -


Can't help in any way with your dilema as neither local to you or father of a daughter (mine's got a willy!), but welcome to the forum :thumbs:


Just wanted to say that if you can (and I'm sure you have / are trying really hard) I really think it would be more beneficial to concentrate your efforts within your daughter's existing networks/area than going 'off-piste'...


Does she have any interests or skills (or any you could nurture) that she could explore locally - i.e. at after school's clubs or local amenities? Drama groups, various martial arts, cookery, book groups, writing circles, sports activities? Anything like that could offer her opportunities to do stuff she likes and to make contact - at her own pace - with other people who share those interests. I know it's really, really difficult, but if you can these also need to be things that you can introduce her to and then back off from.


It won't be an easy task however you go about broadening her horizons. At 14 she's probably in an 'inbetweener' phase where childhood interests and adult interests clash and neither really fits, and possibly where she needs you to be involved on one level but resents that on another! Many girls are just going into the bedroom goblin/emo phase at this age, so getting her to do the opposite at precisely this point is probably going to be an uphill battle.


Whichever way you go, I hope she can find a friend/friends soon, but I really would recommend looking at the things she likes anyway as the launchpad to friendships if possible. Another thing to consider is how much she wants friends. It can be hard for parents to accept, but sometimes kids are just more comfortable with their own company or find that having friends is an emotional 'double edged sword'. Sometimes it can be hard for them to express that, especially if they think it's upsetting for other people they care about to hear, or if it's a difficult conclusion they're just coming to about themselves.


Hope that helps





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Hi london11 .

I live in East London and have a son who is 13.He has AS.

Do NAS have any groups in your area or if your daughter is in school do the school run any activities or groups that might interest her ?

Ben does not go to any organised groups.However he has made a few friends since starting secondary school.He plays electric guitar and this and other things have helped him to get to know people based on shared interests.

In our area there is also a number of summer activities for teenagers which are topic based.



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Hi :),

I'm 20 and just been diagnosed with Aspergers. In terms of helping your daughter to make friends, I think finding others with a shared interest is probably the best bet. Thinking back to when I was 14 I think that's something I really needed- someone I could talk to about the things that interested me personally. A common ground like that might encourage her to be more open with someone, and break the ice to start to feel more comfortable with them. I think I was in a similar situation, and for the most part still am!

Hope it all works out :)



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