Questions

[darkshine]

I have a couple of questions.

1. I have several questions that are of interest to me and my learning and would like to know if it would it be best to post these questions all in one post even though they are very different so as not to clog up the forum with my ....bleep....?

 

2. Does anyone else have question after question after question in their mind? Things like who? what? where? why? when? how? and then as each of them are answered you can then apply the whole string to the answer until it makes sense?

 

For example:

It feels like an overload of questions sometimes.

 

Think of a kid - a lot of them seem to go through a "why" phase. My sister said it was normal and just the kid being annoying. But me? I blinking love it when they do that.

 

Why? because of this...

Why? cause of that...

But WHY?!?

 

and I can go on and on and on with them and you see them grin after a bit because they know I won't get bored of it and just say "because I said so!!!!!" like their mum and dad

 

Yeah, it can be fun sometimes, and its a laugh with kids/teenagers, but adults don't find it funny when another adult relentlessly questions them do they... well they don't in my experience anyway....

 

I find it highly dissatisfying when things just don't make sense (and I have a PRETTY big list) and I have to stop asking questions cuz people get angry or upset.

 

This a problem for others too?

[philipo]

This a problem for others too?[/color]

 

I find it hard to switch off asking why this why that.

I think its caused through higher sensetivity to things and being unable to understand some simpler basic things that results in a feedback loop where i feel even more compelled to ask more questions.many people havr alwsay told me 'you think too much'.i split a big question down into a series of smaller questions to make the whole big question make sense.I do it with engines and wiring diagrams,the smaller questions get answerd then are added together like a puzzle/jigsaw one at a time until they all synchronise,like the cogs in a clock,its just I cant see the clockface,but that doesnt matter.

 

I've found it brilliant with answering kids questions,i can never get bored and love youngsters inquisitivness as I can really relate to asking 'why'.i find many alledged 'grown ups' so bladdy boring alot of the time,more inclined not to ask why because their sense of 'reality' is fragile.Its much easier for adults to shut kids up or be dismissive ,especially when the kids are asking questions that the adults have never asked themselves.

'I think too much'

[darkshine]

"you think too much"

 

Everyone who I can talk to somewhat 'properly' in person more than a few times says that to me - its gotten so that's its a standard phrase to end the conversation! It makes me think that by comparison some people don't think at all!!!

 

I don't understand how a person's mind can just be silent for so long... Maybe it would be nice sometimes....

[littleplum]

 

I don't understand how a person's mind can just be silent for so long... Maybe it would be nice sometimes....

 

Is a hyperactive mind a symptom of AS? Perhaps it is and it does make sense. My wife told me once that I live in my mind and I kind of get what she meant. I tend to rehearse things mentally a lot, things that have not yet happened and things from the past. I suppose this is a consequence of not knowing what the hell is going on around me most of the time.

 

It is possible to still your mind through meditation though and I have found this useful. It is even possible to stop thinking when your mind becomes especially frenzied. I find this especially useful when I am trying to go asleep.

[darkshine]

Is a hyperactive mind a symptom of AS? Perhaps it is and it does make sense. My wife told me once that I live in my mind and I kind of get what she meant. I tend to rehearse things mentally a lot, things that have not yet happened and things from the past. I suppose this is a consequence of not knowing what the hell is going on around me most of the time.

 

It is possible to still your mind through meditation though and I have found this useful. It is even possible to stop thinking when your mind becomes especially frenzied. I find this especially useful when I am trying to go asleep.

Hiya, thanks for posting I'm terrible at meditation but I can sort of zone off - the problem is that it only usually happens when I am supposed to NOT zone off, but for me, its usually a sign that I can't take any more external info and need to shut down for a bit.

 

I think the whole questioning thing just gets on people's nerves - although there have been times when its had its uses...

 

I think my main problem with meditation in the past has been trying to read how to do it which I find really difficult - and when I have been shown, its been by people who I am not comfortable relaxing next to

[philipo]

I stay away from television,and 'zone off' when stressed.The meditation thing only works for a short time with me.One of my best coping mechanisims is to physically go away from people and noise,usually woodland.After a few days I'm really calm but worry because i become non verbal and find it really peacfull.

Its a sensory issue i think,too much sensitivity to start with compounded by too much anxiety to behave 'normally' when around others,many anthropoligists say that what sets humans apart from other animals is the much greater use of language ,perhaps thats the nub of the problem.i dont really mind talking but when people dont mean what they say or use language deceptivly then its not worth communicating.

Loads of people have told me for years 'you think too much',but then again I would rather be me.the same people who say i think too much are always there to praise me when i use my experience and perceptions to fix their cars/motorbikes/computers/central heating/house electric/simple mamalian family dynamics.After my dx last autumn I took stock.Most of the people i once called freinds are just users and thesedays I'd have no problem letting them freeze to death in winter ,or stay broken down at the side of the road,or pay loads of money to pc world etccc.....serves em right,they think too little.

[littleplum]

I think the whole questioning thing just gets on people's nerves - although there have been times when its had its uses...

 

I think my main problem with meditation in the past has been trying to read how to do it which I find really difficult - and when I have been shown, its been by people who I am not comfortable relaxing next to

 

Two things I have found useful and which don't involve other people:

 

Persistently asking questions does irritate people. (I had a terrible row once with someone over this. I was trying to understand something she had said, something really trivial, and I continued to ask her about it until she exploded.) Yet I have found that I can get closer to the truth of a situation only through some sort of dialogue. So, instead, I write out problems (or type them on my computer) and then continue with possible answers. There is something about seeing your thoughts on a screen in front of you that makes them easier to process. I suppose this is another way of saying that I keep a diary of my 'inner self'. No one else reads it but it gets a lot of stuff out my head and that in itself can be a relief.

 

For meditation, I found that focusing on a lit candle helped me clear my mind. At first, I found myself nodding off after a few minutes. But over time I was able to stay awake and maintain my focus for longer. Of course, all sorts of thoughts will enter your mind during meditation, from the banal to the frightening. They are like flies buzzing around your head and the best response is to just swat them away. Unless the house is on fire, there is nothing that can't wait until you have finished.

 

Hope this helps.

[Lyndalou]

 

I think the whole questioning thing just gets on people's nerves - although there have been times when its had its uses...

 

 

For a while, I had quite a positive channel for questions although not an entirely unstressful one! I had the sanction, within reason, to ask 'Why?/When?/Where?/Who?/How' of various professionals, on the behalf of other people as an advocacy worker. I think I got quite good at wangling information out of people in a persistently nice way and you get to recognise the people who are irritated by you pretty quickly too !

 

Otherwise, I like to just find out stuff for myself...documentaries, National Geographic and the like. That way I don't get the 'You DO go on!' comments etc

 

xx

[darkshine]

I stay away from television,and 'zone off' when stressed.The meditation thing only works for a short time with me.One of my best coping mechanisims is to physically go away from people and noise,usually woodland.After a few days I'm really calm but worry because i become non verbal and find it really peacfull.

Its a sensory issue i think,too much sensitivity to start with compounded by too much anxiety to behave 'normally' when around others,many anthropoligists say that what sets humans apart from other animals is the much greater use of language ,perhaps thats the nub of the problem.i dont really mind talking but when people dont mean what they say or use language deceptivly then its not worth communicating.

Loads of people have told me for years 'you think too much',but then again I would rather be me.the same people who say i think too much are always there to praise me when i use my experience and perceptions to fix their cars/motorbikes/computers/central heating/house electric/simple mamalian family dynamics.After my dx last autumn I took stock.Most of the people i once called freinds are just users and thesedays I'd have no problem letting them freeze to death in winter ,or stay broken down at the side of the road,or pay loads of money to pc world etccc.....serves em right,they think too little.

Hello today

I too have a tendency to go "non-verbal" and when I was about 21 I spent 2 years barely talking at all - I created my own very limited language that was designed to express basic feelings and needs - I also got sectioned around that time due to this fact and a few others (violence, at risk etc). (not that I particularly talked to people before or after that - unless I knew/know them very very well).

 

I think where one problem to do with language and questions come in is that I am unable most of the time to verbally ask my questions because I already know beforehand that they either won't be answered, or that the people will get peed off.

 

Also, as you point out, it is very frustrating when people don't mean what they say or use language deceptively.

 

I find I have to be very careful of "users" and you sum up my sentiments on that perfectly

 

x

 

Two things I have found useful and which don't involve other people:

 

Persistently asking questions does irritate people. (I had a terrible row once with someone over this. I was trying to understand something she had said, something really trivial, and I continued to ask her about it until she exploded.) Yet I have found that I can get closer to the truth of a situation only through some sort of dialogue. So, instead, I write out problems (or type them on my computer) and then continue with possible answers. There is something about seeing your thoughts on a screen in front of you that makes them easier to process. I suppose this is another way of saying that I keep a diary of my 'inner self'. No one else reads it but it gets a lot of stuff out my head and that in itself can be a relief.

 

For meditation, I found that focusing on a lit candle helped me clear my mind. At first, I found myself nodding off after a few minutes. But over time I was able to stay awake and maintain my focus for longer. Of course, all sorts of thoughts will enter your mind during meditation, from the banal to the frightening. They are like flies buzzing around your head and the best response is to just swat them away. Unless the house is on fire, there is nothing that can't wait until you have finished.

 

Hope this helps.

Hello again I did watch the washer once do an entire cycle - the spinning was just mesmerising that night. But it was quite calming.... I see what you mean with the candle - I've always found fire very er... (trying to not sound like a pyro) hyponotic

 

My thoughts are mostly like flies in my head very irritating!

 

I do find the writing helps, I have kept diaries (of sorts) on paper and on the pc - and it does help me to let out some of these thoughts - it might be the actual process of getting rid of them, or it might be to do with acknowledging them or being able to deal with them mentally upon seeing it written down...

 

For a while, I had quite a positive channel for questions although not an entirely unstressful one! I had the sanction, within reason, to ask 'Why?/When?/Where?/Who?/How' of various professionals, on the behalf of other people as an advocacy worker. I think I got quite good at wangling information out of people in a persistently nice way and you get to recognise the people who are irritated by you pretty quickly too !

 

Otherwise, I like to just find out stuff for myself...documentaries, National Geographic and the like. That way I don't get the 'You DO go on!' comments etc

 

xx

Documentaries are good for answering some questions and I've always liked books too.

 

For me, only certain people get to see my questioning nature - I can become like a terrier they say - cuz I won't drop it and give in.

 

Advocacy work would be a good type of way to use this skill - I can see that - for me though I'm still learning to be able to talk somewhat freely with people and I'd be scared of saying the wrong thing - but I think there will be areas that I can put this to use... maybe

 

Believe it or not, most people I meet barely get a few words out of me - and they are usually the scripted list of pleasantries that people like to go through (every single time!) for some reason.

 

At the moment I just can't understand this whole AS thing at all because there are so many views on it.

 

Subjects of interest always provoke questions from me too.

 

And then people. People just drive me nuts. I don't understand why they do what they do, say what they do, act how they do - there's just so much that doesn't make sense at all, and is so unpredictable!

 

It is annoying being told "you do go on" or something similar

 

....................................................

 

So in light of all of this, I guess the main people being lumbered with my questions is you guys - and I am grateful that you take the time to answer some of them