Forums

[darkshine]

Just a couple of months ago I didn't really know a thing about forums (other than they existed and people talked on 'em).

 

It's been a steep learning curve for me.

 

The biggest surprise (in my ignorance) was that in some ways it is exactly like talking to people face-to-face - in that they aren't predictable and they can still confuse you, or that you still can't say certain things, and that the same kinds of rules apply.

 

On the other hand there is a sense of freedom on this forum that does not exist for me in face-to-face conversations. It is easier without people's eyes boring into you and it is easier to think about what you want to say a bit more, as opposed to always having to think about what you should say (although of course this still exists but is slightly different).

 

So it seems liberating but difficult.

Nice yet uneasy.

Fraught with social complications yet simpler.

 

The biggest shock to me is that I make just as many mistakes as in face-to-face conversations and that sometimes those mistakes seem harder to rectify as I can't just say sorry and wipe it all away, cuz it stays there in print for everyone to see how wrong I was and its harder to forget and get over and undo. I somehow had this deluded belief that it would be easier for some reason.

 

Also those mistakes I make are incredibly more frequent that they have ever been in face-to-face conversations cuz I am talking to more people on here than I have ever done in my life.

 

I never thought that I'd say that there are times when it would be easier to talk to some people face-to-face!!! But I now firmly believe that there are. This forum has further shown me how important the things I find painful actually are. Body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, eye-contact - in some ways I can see how vital they are - not that they are always clear, but there's definitely been times when I've thought "if only Icould see your face" or "if only I could meet you or pick up the phone" cuz some things that I struggle to get across on here actually could be said easier and quicker in person.

 

The biggest thing I like is that people seem to be very accepting on here.

 

I've never really been a member of anything - not for long cuz it always goes wrong - I am grateful that this forum exists, and that I can join it, I appreciate that people are quite patient and I am thankful that because of this forum I get a chance to try and learn, improve and get better at certain skills and stuff. I also hope that what I can "give" is of use to people in some way and that I get a chance to do that too.

 

Thanks to anyone who reads this for reading this

 

Darkshine

Edited July 21, 2011 by darkshine

[Lynden]

I'm glad that you find the forums useful I think people on here do tend to be accepting, mainly because we all have personal experience in some way, of life with ASD whether it's personally or as a parent, partner, carer etc.

 

I think one of the benefits of talking to people online, is that you can be more confident if you are a naturally shy person. One of the main drawbacks is as you say, it's harder to problem solve.

 

I actually met my hubby online 14 years ago now - and we did the distance relationship thing for a while, only seeing one another every few months and when we argued either on the phone or msn or whatever it was at that time, it was so much harder to work it out than arguing face to face

 

Lynne

[philipo]

To know that your not alone ,that many other sgare the troment/high perceptions and the avenue to (mostly) give other people some help/advice on what can easily be a very debilitating 'condition.I do worry though that many people 'affected' have to get to a mininum literate standard/technical understanding of using the net,I always try to remember the people who can't make their(inner and outer)voice heard,due to educational/learning difficulty problems.

[darkshine]

I'm glad that you find the forums useful I think people on here do tend to be accepting, mainly because we all have personal experience in some way, of life with ASD whether it's personally or as a parent, partner, carer etc.

 

I think one of the benefits of talking to people online, is that you can be more confident if you are a naturally shy person. One of the main drawbacks is as you say, it's harder to problem solve.

 

I actually met my hubby online 14 years ago now - and we did the distance relationship thing for a while, only seeing one another every few months and when we argued either on the phone or msn or whatever it was at that time, it was so much harder to work it out than arguing face to face

 

Lynne

Thanks Lynne - that's what I like - is that you aren't just getting one group of people's responses, your getting a spread of people in similar situations but with different experiences and circumstances - so the stuff you see here is from many people's point of view.

 

I that guess every type of communication has its ups and downs though

 

 

 

To know that your not alone ,that many other sgare the troment/high perceptions and the avenue to (mostly) give other people some help/advice on what can easily be a very debilitating 'condition.I do worry though that many people 'affected' have to get to a mininum literate standard/technical understanding of using the net,I always try to remember the people who can't make their(inner and outer)voice heard,due to educational/learning difficulty problems.

Hey philpo, glad you find it useful too, and that it reduces the feeling of being alone for you.

 

Remember that some of the people who can't be heard kinda do get heard through the medium of other people, like their family or carers, I know it isn't the same, but its better that this kind of thing is about so that people can find out more to improve people's lives.

 

 

Ta to anyone for reading all my ramblings about this forum

[Lynden]

Thanks Lynne - that's what I like - is that you aren't just getting one group of people's responses, your getting a spread of people in similar situations but with different experiences and circumstances - so the stuff you see here is from many people's point of view.

 

 

From my perspective, it's good for me as a parent to be able to hear from those who are on the spectrum themselves too as they might have some insight into parts of my sons behaviours that I can't possibly have!

 

Lynne

Edited July 23, 2011 by Lynden