Any advice gratefully received

[raquelornot]

Just looking for any thoughts really on what to do (or not) about my son. Sorry, it’s a bit of a long story...

 

In pre-school my son Josh got an ILP (learning plan) focused on doing different activities and sharing. I also had a couple of very strange conversations with the preschool boss. The first time she approached me to discuss his "large movements" which according to her was because he didn't get out enough. That really upset me cos I used to take him out all over the place and the health visitors always said every child develops differently. The second time was just before the nativity play. She suggested that he should sit at the back with the younger kids, although the other leavers had parts to play. I thought that was very mean as other than his physical development she'd never highlighted any issues. Anyhow, I asked her to let him have a go and he did brilliantly.

Josh’s own preschool teacher she said he was the best reader she’d ever known! Other than that she’d said earlier that he didn’t seem to know what to do with toys properly and he’d rarely sit down during circle time.

 

Josh is now 5 years old, he’s been at school 6 months, and the 2nd last day of term the teacher called me in for a chat.

I had to sign off his ILP and then she asked me to sign a Referral to Educational Psychologist form. It looked very official and intimidating and I said I wasn't really happy to sign it.

The issues she'd written down were poor motor skills and social issues. I didn't understand how he could have any social issues as he's got lots of friends at school and everyone seems to know him. He's very outgoing and loves to chat to anybody. When I asked the teacher what she meant, she said that he plays independently rather than with other kids (not that strange). She said he prefers talking to adults - but I'd assume that's cos he's quite bright boy and knows adults have more information. She also said the last few weeks he's been getting a bit emotional, e.g. over a "hairy" ball he had to play with in PE. When he was little he used to get upset about things being wet or dirty but I thought that was just a phase. It's just occasionally he gets upset about things like that now.

 

I was chatting to my friend about what's been going on and she mentioned Aspergers. Looking online there are quite a lot of traits Josh seems to have. Special interests (rockets and spaceships) and spending a long time with one toy. Moving his own little way, I’d describe it as playfully. He is a great with words and loves to chat – but doesn't always like to listen. Loves non fiction books. Fussiness about cleaning his teeth properly and having his duvet fixed perfectly. Being over sensitive to certain smells. He also had a troublesome birth and was special care for 11 days.

 

But he definitely doesn't lack expression – if anything it’s exaggerated. He literally bounces around when he’s happy and he’s often really excited about things. He tells us he loves us every day and he enjoys caring for younger children and animals when he gets the chance. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, he runs away and cries if his 3 year old brother starts trouble with him.

 

From my point of view he’s a bright, bubbly, gentle and pretty full on kid. Maybe he’s slightly different but nothing to warrant a psychologist visit. His dad is adamant that he’s perfectly normal.

 

Any ideas? Could he have Aspergers or are the schools just trying to make everyone identical? Is there any benefit in getting a psychologist involved?

 

Any words of wisdom welcome!

[Jinglebug]

Hi

 

I haven't got any advice on whether your son has got AS or not, I can say that you have described my 5 year old son to a T. His teacher recognised that something was 'different' with him and refered him to the ed pysch and local child development centre (awaiting to be seen).

 

My view is that if there is an issue that could be affecting my sons learning then i would rather know about it. Labels have been beneficial for my DD and i'm grateful that his teacher has picked up on the fact that he is struggling in his schooling and would like to get some help for him, lets face it my DS has got a long time to go at school!

 

Hope you get the awnsers you want

 

Jingle

[Beebee]

Just looking for any thoughts really on what to do (or not) about my son. Sorry, it’s a bit of a long story...

 

In pre-school my son Josh got an ILP (learning plan) focused on doing different activities and sharing. I also had a couple of very strange conversations with the preschool boss. The first time she approached me to discuss his "large movements" which according to her was because he didn't get out enough. That really upset me cos I used to take him out all over the place and the health visitors always said every child develops differently. The second time was just before the nativity play. She suggested that he should sit at the back with the younger kids, although the other leavers had parts to play. I thought that was very mean as other than his physical development she'd never highlighted any issues. Anyhow, I asked her to let him have a go and he did brilliantly.

Josh’s own preschool teacher she said he was the best reader she’d ever known! Other than that she’d said earlier that he didn’t seem to know what to do with toys properly and he’d rarely sit down during circle time.

 

Josh is now 5 years old, he’s been at school 6 months, and the 2nd last day of term the teacher called me in for a chat.

I had to sign off his ILP and then she asked me to sign a Referral to Educational Psychologist form. It looked very official and intimidating and I said I wasn't really happy to sign it.

The issues she'd written down were poor motor skills and social issues. I didn't understand how he could have any social issues as he's got lots of friends at school and everyone seems to know him. He's very outgoing and loves to chat to anybody. When I asked the teacher what she meant, she said that he plays independently rather than with other kids (not that strange). She said he prefers talking to adults - but I'd assume that's cos he's quite bright boy and knows adults have more information. She also said the last few weeks he's been getting a bit emotional, e.g. over a "hairy" ball he had to play with in PE. When he was little he used to get upset about things being wet or dirty but I thought that was just a phase. It's just occasionally he gets upset about things like that now.

 

I was chatting to my friend about what's been going on and she mentioned Aspergers. Looking online there are quite a lot of traits Josh seems to have. Special interests (rockets and spaceships) and spending a long time with one toy. Moving his own little way, I’d describe it as playfully. He is a great with words and loves to chat – but doesn't always like to listen. Loves non fiction books. Fussiness about cleaning his teeth properly and having his duvet fixed perfectly. Being over sensitive to certain smells. He also had a troublesome birth and was special care for 11 days.

 

But he definitely doesn't lack expression – if anything it’s exaggerated. He literally bounces around when he’s happy and he’s often really excited about things. He tells us he loves us every day and he enjoys caring for younger children and animals when he gets the chance. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, he runs away and cries if his 3 year old brother starts trouble with him.

 

From my point of view he’s a bright, bubbly, gentle and pretty full on kid. Maybe he’s slightly different but nothing to warrant a psychologist visit. His dad is adamant that he’s perfectly normal.

 

Any ideas? Could he have Aspergers or are the schools just trying to make everyone identical? Is there any benefit in getting a psychologist involved?

 

Any words of wisdom welcome!

[JsMum]

Do you feel that there could be something here, ASD/Sensory? your son is still very young yet, normall diagnosis for AS are around 8 upwards and educational psychologists appointments can take months.

 

You have described a lot of similairties with AS and your sons Teacher has also raised concerns.

 

They do need your permission for a Educational Pyschologist and the forms have to be detailed so that the Ed Psch can have the right assessments.

 

It may look formal to you but to the Ed Psych there just standard practice.

 

I would attend a local AS parent group to get a feeling about AS and to be with other parents who have children AS.

 

You can request an information pack from the National Autistic Society that has more information and facts on

 

AS.

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/asperger

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/en-GB/Our-services/Advice-and-information-services/Autism-Helpline.aspx

 

My son also has Sensory issues, under and overactive, so it could be that there is a mixture of sensory processing functions.

 

All the lovely Positive traits that you described your boy can accompany children with AS too AS is a triad of impairments in social interaction, social functioning, theory of mind.

 

JsMumxxx

Edited July 27, 2011 by JsMum

[Karen A]

Hi.

 

Parents here often have to battle for months or years to get school to take concerns on board.

A referal to an EP can take years if it happens at all.

The teacher may be over anxious or perhaps even have some target to meet.

However in my opinion the worst that could happen would be that the EP does not recognise any need for further assessments and thinks the teacher has been too keen.

An EP would not usually diagnose AS but would refer on to a panel for assessment.

Any further referals or advice should involve consultation with you.

 

Ben was not picked up as having any difficulties until he entered year 3.

By the time any support was put in place he was hardly coping at school or home.

I will find the link for another thread that talks about difficulties parents frequently have in obtaining an assessment or being taken seriously.

I posted more on that thread and will not repeat what I said.

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/Index.php?/topic/27007-who-noticed-your-childs-problems/

 

But as you may gather.Knowing what I know now if I was offered an EP referal in your situation I would say yes before someone cut the budget.

 

If your son does not have AS there may be other conditions,SEN or issues that the EP could advise on.

 

It would be far easier to obtain assessments or educational advice following an EP initial assessment.

If your child is on the SEN register at school action and the school have concerns then it is good pracice for them to be requesting further external advice.

 

Karen.

Edited July 27, 2011 by Karen A

[Beebee]

Hi and welcome.

I thought that i would reply and let you know a little about my experiences, which i hope may help you.

I too have a 'Josh' and how you describe 'your Josh' certainly has some similarities to my ds. My Josh however is now 16 years old and was diagnosed with Aspergers last July.

I am of course no expert but can recall my own experiences as a Special Needs Teacher and also that of those with my son.

When Josh first began at primary school he was and always has been a popular child, however that was if the other children joined in with his games rather than the other way round, otherwise he would play alongside or on his own. He was also quite a joker and very chatty.

I first suspected that there was something 'different' about Josh when he was about 6 years old but because he was my first child and his primary school never picked up anything, i thought that i must be wrong.

Apart from suggesting that Josh was rather 'immature' for his age (enjoying activities not age relevant), his primary school, even when prompted by myself insisted that he was fine. Their only intervention was some 'Gross/Fine motor skills' sessions as his balance was very poor.

As the years have progressed the gap in 'behaviour expectations/development' between Josh and his peers has grown significantly. After much deleberation and fruitless discussion with his secondary school, i decided (after speaking with Josh then aged 14 and with a personal awareness that he was 'different to his friends') to approach our G.P who in turn referred us to 'CAMHS' where he was then officially diagnosed last July.

Oh yes and my Josh had 'favourite clothes, 'lined up' all of his favourite toys, struggled and still does with teeth cleaning but is now an articulate young man, very sensitive,a frequent 'hug' giver and currently quite a computer wizz (some advantages..future career, hopefully!!).

 

All i would say is that, i wish that his primary school had picked this up, as earlier diagnosis is absolutely better than when they are in their teens. Trying to get a 'Statement' in secondary school in my experience/knowledge is extremely difficult. My Josh would have had help with subjects at school that he struggled with, particularily 'english' if his diagnosis had happened earlier.

If 'your Josh' does have Adpergers or is on the Autistic Spectrum, then i think it can only help in his forthcoming education and for him to get the right help and support if he is diagnosed quickly.

 

I hope this may have been a little bit of help in making a decision. Please feel free to message me if you wish. Sorry for long post.!!

Good luck with it all

[raquelornot]

Thank you so much for your replies guys . Mostly I was concerned about the whole getting labelled thing. But it sounds like a lot parents see a referral as a positive step. I guess it is best to get on the case now, rather than waiting for possible problems to arise (especially with no teaching assistant next year).

I'm going to talk to the SENs person at school in September and fill her in on everything. Probably I'll wait til she's talked to Josh's old teacher, sat in with his class etc. If a referral's still needed she might be able to convince my husband, as he won't even question Josh's "normality" at the moment.

Karen I checked out your link & I'll also check out yours JsMum.

Thanks Beebee, it sounds like you've got a fair bit of experience and I may be picking your brains on a few things.

Let us know how it goes with your little boy Jingle.

Cheers,

Raz

[Adam Mars]

 

Any ideas? Could he have Aspergers or are the schools just trying to make everyone identical?

 

 

Both, I think. He reminds me of me, and certainly the things you describe are typical of autistic spectrum disorders...not sufficient in itself for anyone to seriously suggest a diagnosis, least of all on the interwebs, but certainly enough to suggest that it might be worth asking your GP to refer you to someone who can. Whether a diagnosis will be helpful is something only you can judge - although you'll find people here willing to argue both sides. A lot will depend on the people who will have to respond to the diagnosis - educators, principally - and whether they respond constructively. And that's something you can't know until after the diagnosis has been made. It would be worth trying to contact parents in your school catchment area (do catchment areas still exist?) who have children who have a diagnosis of an ASD and seeing what their experiences are of schools', teachers' and education officials' responses. Forewarned is forearmed, and having four arms is cool.

Edited July 27, 2011 by Adam Mars