Tally Report post Posted July 30, 2011 The mad woman at work has been at her most obnoxious tonight and i'm close to walking out on the job. My boss asked if i wanted to work with the mad woman or on my own and i picked on my own, but she came and worked with me anyway. For the 1st 2 hours she ranted continuously. I gave her no feedback whatsoever and even walked off mid sentence, but she just carried on shouting for 2 whole hours. I thought she'd go away when we finished that section but then she said i had to carry on working with her all night long. I just couldn't face it so i went and told my boss about the ranting and if said i was to work with him and then he'd come and work my bit with me. Mad woman wasn't too pleased when she saw. She came and asked me if i have a problem with her. I didn't answer and she went on about how them were a really great team until i started and spoilt it for everyone, and everyone else likes her. And she is going to put in a complaint against me. In the end she went and shouted at the other guy instead. She has only taken 10 mins lunch break and is now working the heaviest section, the one my boss and i were going to do. So she will look like a real martyr now! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted July 30, 2011 I don't like the sound of the "mad woman" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matzoball Report post Posted July 30, 2011 Aw kiddo she sounds like a nightmare - you just keep yourself right and pay her no mind(i know thats easy for me to say) - anyone who has to loudly declare they are popular are anything but. If she wants to work the heavy section - let her! She sounds like a blooming idiot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 30, 2011 She just got worse and worse all night, kept coming back, apologising, and then shouting at me some more. She doesn't make a lot of sense, but her main complaint is that I do not help other people enough and am very selfish. She helped me with the drinks because they are heavy and no one should have to do them on their own. But she took the heavier ones and I left her to it because I didn't want to get in her way and took the other ones which are lighter. She said that she didn't say anything and just waited to see if I would come and help her. The weight difference did not even occur to me at the time and she didn't say she wanted help or visibly struggle, so I did not know she wanted help. She said that some staff are really shy and would not ask for help even if they needed it, so I should just help anyway. I would always help if I knew someone wanted help, but I can't see how it's my problem if I can't tell and they don't ask. I actually find it really annoying when she dives in and tells me not to lift things, as if she doesn't trust me to make a decision about whether I can lift a box. I don't do it to other people because I thought they might be annoyed too! She's just twisting everything and attaching motivations that I did not have. I don't get how I can have divided the team. I am only part time and there are many people I don't even see, so can't possibly have influenced them. As for everyone else liking her, I am not too sure about that one either. The person who started the same day as me does not like her. Another person used to row with her throughout our entire lunch hour and has now started taking his break in an office, but she still goes in there to shout at him. My manager said he thinks she is on some medication, which is not a very nice way of putting it so I don't think he is her biggest fan. I got called in to the manager this morning to give my side of the story, which I did. I don't know what they can do anyway though. She's not going to change her behaviour and no one is willing to stand up to her. Even if she did get sacked, the few people who genuinely do like her would be very angry with me for it. Anyway, I'm not going in tonight because I can't face it. I'm waiting for the emergency doctor to call me back, and if he does not sign me off today I will go begging to my GP on Monday. I've just completed 6 months' service and am entitled to sick pay now! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted July 30, 2011 Although I tend to try not to be judgemental it really sounds like she's trying to undermine and control you, while making you look bad at the same time haven't got much advice though cuz I'd probably take some time off and work it out too am terrible at dealing with people like this - is your manager supportive? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted July 30, 2011 There's a book I read once, it might help - or at the very least amuse you while you identify "types" of people... Its called - dealing with people you can't stand (how to bring out the best in people at their worst) - brinkman & kerschner Amazon have it used for a few pence + postage if interested (I've added link cuz it lets you have a peek inside) Amazon link Best Darkshine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 30, 2011 I have tried so hard to get on with this woman. We do have some things in common that we have chatted about. Sometimes she does do kind things. For example, she brings in her mp3 player to play music over the tannoy. I mentioned I'd been to see Suede in concert and the following night onward I noticed several Suede songs, whereas I'd not heard a single one before. So she must have gone home and downloaded them just for me. And her constant surveillance and not letting me do things may well stem from kindness too. But she's just completely all over the place and you don't know where you are with her from one moment to the next. She rants and raves about stuff from work and home that I am really not interested in. It's obvious she is quite seriously mentally unwell, so I have tried to cut her some slack because I don't think she can help it. But the way she is makes things very difficult for the people around her and she is totally unreasonable. I can't work out whether she is paranoid or has an extremely long memory, but she is forever warning me about how different managers are out to get me. And she passes on "messages" from the managers and supervisors, which I don't think they really said. Last night she said my supervisor told her I was being really childish and refusing to work with her, and I just don't think he would have said this to her as he always seems very professional when I have spoken to him. She is extremely restless and will often spend the entire rest break shouting and rummaging through the fridge because she can't sit still and actually rest. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dee23 Report post Posted July 30, 2011 She sounds the type who would spot someone with a white stick, for example, who had the misfortune to be standing near the kerb, and drag them across the road whilst glaring and tutting at everyone else around for "not helping"...... More seriously, i used to work with someone a bit like this woman sounds. We worked in a cafe (so there was the heat, small space, clash of stainless steel all day to contend with, as well as her ). Basically, this woman was (is) deeply, deeply insecure. She is still a friend, who i see maybe every couple of months - more than that is a bit too exhausting - and you are probably right in your assessment of this colleague of yours, about her clumsy attempts at kindness etc. I found my friend exhausting to work with - there was the often constant ranting you describe, and the utter suspicion of management - but she was, as i said, VERY insecure, and wanted to be liked. The bit you mentioned about the Suede songs is exactly the sort of thing my friend would do, and she would expect visible gratitude for it, or you would become the subject of a rant to someone else! I'm sorry i can't offer you any helpful advice. It sounds like your managemnet are aware of the impact she has on those around her, as were ours, but are probably too scared and ineffectual to act on it - like ours were. People like this are very hard to reason with, they have a huge, often negative, impact on people around them, even on the ones who do genuinely like them - as i did with my colleague/friend. She can be so kind, very funny, is utterly loyal, very clever etc - has loads of great qualities in other words. BUT, just cannot/will not see the impact on others, or ever take responsibility for it. The problem always lies in others reactions, not in her/their behaviour, as i suspect is the case with your colleague too. That does mean, of course, that any solution probably lies with you, and any changes you can make to your reactions, feelings etc, as Darkshine has suggested by recommending a book. I know that probably doesn't seem entirely fair as well, sadly All the best with it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted July 30, 2011 Plus the book helps you find the funny side too types of people the grenade the tank the sniper the yes person the no person the whiner the know it all the think they know it all the nothing person the maybe person it gives a comic detail of what each person is, while allowing you to identify which you are also then outlines practical ways for dealing with each (its been a long time since I read this - so memory ends there) but I can say that I found it funny and helpful for many situations where people can just be damn annoying Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted July 30, 2011 I'm not sure if it would be allowed (maybe you could ask you boss, he seems to understand what the mad woman is like) but could you use an MP3 player (could put the wire inside your uniform if there was a concern it would get caught) and listen to music / podcasts / whatever both so you have a reasonable reason to ignore her and just to distract you from her? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted July 30, 2011 I agree with Dee. Sounds like the main issue is weak management to me. A manager should monitor what's going on and nip any potential disruptive influence in the bud before it gets to such a level. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
