lisac Report post Posted August 5, 2011 Just wondered if any of you had any thoughts. Was my new neighbour right to knock on the door tonight and complain about my 24 yr old autistic son on his trampoline bouncing and yelling loudly at 8pm? She said he was keeping her children awake. I told her he had autism and I always have him in by 9pm. I suspect she will be ringing the local council now. Any ideas of what to do ? thank you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
atlantis Report post Posted August 5, 2011 I'm not really sure about how to improve relations with your neighbour, but to put your mind at rest the council will not respond to complaints of noise before 11pm (in my experience with my local council, at least). Even if they did, it wouldn't get very far as they have to be able to prove it etc, and I don't think they would bother with such a small case. If your neighbour was actually complaining then that was probably taking it too far- a polite request to keep it down would have been more appropriate. All the best, _atLantis_ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted August 5, 2011 As above... also depends how loudly he was shouting etc, and the age of her kids, but as Atlantis says you start with a polite request not a complaint. That said, it may be you were so stunned/upset by the knock at the door that what was a polite request seemed something other(?) L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
philipo Report post Posted August 5, 2011 As above,as above, anyone who complains about children having fun at a reasonable hour is a killjoy.Do nothing except keep on doing what your doing.We all have to get along,(although I wish I could take my own advice a bit more!). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisac Report post Posted August 6, 2011 (edited) He was yelling very loudly and full of energy (managed to snap two springs on the trampoline). Her kids are about 2 and 5. To be fair it was was a Friday night and the school holidays. She was very annoyed so maybe it came out as complaining rather than a polite request, dunno. He had been very loud all afternoon. I wasnt stunned by the knock at the door as I saw her marching through the gate and up the path from the upstairs window. I cant stop him as he has to release energy some how, when it suits him, but should I stop him after say 7 or 8 pm, I dont want to, he is a 24 yr old man and I think 9pm is about right? thanks. Edited August 6, 2011 by lisac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted August 6, 2011 Hi Lisa, so sorry to hear about your neighbour, you would have thought that when you explained your son has autism she would have been a bit more understanding, if she doesn't really know what autism is you could print out some literature for her to read on autism, I know of people who have done this in similar situations to yours. Anyway, like what others have said I'm sure you won't get into any trouble from the law as it is a reasonable hour when your son is in the garden on the trampoline. Keep us updated Lisa. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisac Report post Posted August 6, 2011 The literature may be good. Does anyone know of any useful leaflets? I got the impression though that the only thing she was interested in was her kids going to sleep. Her and her husband are bankers. For what its worth, I strongly suspected she would complain as I had seen her shouting at someone who had parked for 5 mins next to her dropped kerb which makes it hard to get her 4x4 out. Thanks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 6, 2011 Tricky one, because it's difficult to know what she took offence to. I guess if you take Autism out of the picture, and say you were a house of students drunk and yelling on the tranpoline at 8pm would it be acceptable or would the neighbour have cause to complain? 8pm isn't particularly late, BUT if it was loud and genuinely disturbing her children then maybe she does have reason to approach you about it. I would certainly find it difficult if I had someone regularly (I don't know if this is a one off or every day) yelling so close to me. Does your son understand PECs or something similar - could you get him to trampoline without yelling? If he does understand them, a large no yelling sign on the trampoline might help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisac Report post Posted August 6, 2011 Hi Mumble, I think she took offence to 'noise' regardless. It can be irritating and I am sure if I didnt live with autism I would find it irritating too.He doesnt do it regularly, he goes in cycles where he will have days of quietness then a day or two of yelling. It isnt every day. Unfortunatley when in this 'mood/phase' it hits him hard and he cant trampoline without yelling, it is all part of releasing 'stuff' I guess Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 6, 2011 Hi Mumble, I think she took offence to 'noise' regardless. It can be irritating and I am sure if I didnt live with autism I would find it irritating too.He doesnt do it regularly, he goes in cycles where he will have days of quietness then a day or two of yelling. It isnt every day. Unfortunatley when in this 'mood/phase' it hits him hard and he cant trampoline without yelling, it is all part of releasing 'stuff' I guess If it's not everyday and just in cycles, I can't see the problem as 8pm isn't late. I'm guessing she's the sort who would complain if you were having a BBQ with friends at 8pm too... My brother used to do the yelling thing on occasions; the neighbours were generally pretty understanding though I remember a memorable old guy who lived fairly close by came and started yelling at my parents because of the yelling. I in my totally untactful way told the neighbour he was yelling more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisac Report post Posted August 6, 2011 Yes maybe, they've been there about 6 months so time will tell. I am waiting to see what happens tonight but son is less vocal today ( probably because he let it all out yesterday!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lynden Report post Posted August 6, 2011 I would drop her a note, with some literature about autism. Apologise that the noise stopped her children getting to sleep and explain that he doesn't do it every night, but when he does need to do it - him not being able to will result in far more noise in the end. If she does have very young kids 9pm probably is quite late as 7.30-8.00pm is a fairly normal bedtime for little'uns. It's difficult though as your son is a grown man and as you say, needs the release. Would it make a difference to him if you did stop by 8pm? or perhaps compromise at 8.30? I think if they are going to be long term neighbours you want to at least try to foster a decent understanding initially. Lynne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted August 6, 2011 Hi Lisa - one other thing to consider... It varies from person to person, but generally people do try to avoid confrontation and this sometimes leads to more problems when situations like this arise... It may well be that she'd been sitting 'stewing' for an hour over the noise, hoping it would stop, and by the time she actually got around to saying something she was wound right up and came up the garden path ready to 'do battle' rather than to negotiate. Some neighbours of mine have got a horrible, yippy chihuahua recently, and all the other neigbours are pulling their hair out. Slightly diffenrent scenario, because several have asked 'nicely' and been fobbed off, but eventually there's going to be a major blowup because peeps have been 'bottling it up'. Lynden's note sounds like a V.Good idea, and while you don't want to invite a situation where she's complaining over a mouse's fart, you could also suggest an 'early warning' in future... Chances are, she'll actually be far more accepting if she knows that you are open to compromise, but make sure you don't back yourself into that MF corner mentioned previously! L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisac Report post Posted August 6, 2011 Yes, her and her husband probably had been brewing since about 7pm. With the dog thing surely there is nothing anyone can do if they are not neglecting it and its not barking outside after 9pm? Thinking about it, I dont want any contact with her. I am going to let son carry on as he is and let her call the council or the police, its not a problem. Thanks people <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
