Hi, another newbie!

[susiemumof3]

Hi all, I'm new to this site and to Aspergers Syndrome as well actually.

I have three boys, J who is 8, S who is 5 and L who is 1. J has had unusual behavioural traits for many years and although I have raised concerns with every health professional I could think of, I've been told that he is 'jealous of his younger brother', 'unsettled because of the new baby', 'adjusting to school life', 'seeking attention' and just about every other cliche you can think of. Finally though, a school nurse has taken me seriously and after a lot of waiting he is to be assessed for Aspergers. I'm not 100% sure that this is what it is, but the symptoms certainly seem to match. I;ve found it all very challenging, particularly as my husband works 14 hour days, 6 days a week.

A bit more about J

As I said, he is 8. He is very gifted academically, except in writing, which he finds arduous and hard. Physically he is fine and developed well.

He has sensitivities to denim, wool, tight clothes, labels, and seams in socks. Loud noises really upset him although this has improved recently. However, he seems to be really scared of noises in films, i.e. spooky music. The most difficult thing is the temper tantrums. He throws quite violent tantrums for the smallest reason. I've tried numerous ways to combat this, but nothing seems to have any effect.

He is highly competitive particularly with computers. He would quite happily play a computer game for 8 hours without respite if I didn't restrict his time on them. He has friends at school although only two that he chooses to play with. All of their games are based on computer games that he has played. I worry sometimes that I'm to blame for letting him use computers at all.

He won't talk to adults generally unless he has to. When forced, he will be very abrupt and not chatty as he is with me. He has recently started saying things to people which are quite inappropriate, for example, we walked through a park and some teenagers were looking over at us. He shouted out 'OI!! What're you looking at?' I tried to explain to him that he shouldn't do this, but he didn't understand. Also, while doing a boot sale, when people were looking around, he was picking things up and saying to me, 'Why would anyone want to buy this? It's a load of rubbish!!!' I was so embarassed!

At school, he has an excellent behaviour record and his teacher has seen no problems. She tells me that at times he can appear to be a bit glum, or withdrawn. However, he has had several run-ins with other pupils when he told one he didn't like him and to go away. He also told this boys mum. (we don't talk anymore!)

He worries incessantly about things, particularly natural disasters. For a whole week he cried about going to school last year and eventually I found out that he was scared we were going to have a tornado because it was very windy and the leaves were blowing around in circles.

He takes everything very literally and can't seem to realise when we are joking with him, although again this has slightly improved.

He has trouble getting to sleep at night, and blamed his bed. We then bought him a bunk bed to share with 'S' but he now refuses to sleep on the top bunk in case the ceiling falls on him.

There are millions of things I could say about him, but I'll be typing for hours! Basically I worry for him. He threatens to kill himself, calls himself stupid, pulls his hair, punches himself and screams. It's highly distressing for both myself and his brothers.

Does any of this sound familiar?? Any advice.

Thank for reading!

x

[philipo]

The stuff about behaviour and clothing preferences rings very true,you could try using non bio.You could try rducing milk and dairy and see if this helps change his behaviour.The extreme techniccal stuff and taking things literally.The symptoms/behaviour you describe seem typically 'aspergers' but remember that aspergers,in the light of recent awareness about the subject may be high fintioning autisim.Talking about feelings will help.try and tire him out a bit,physical exercise will help him sleep and chill him down at least a half hour before bedtime,excluding any stimulus,like tele,computers,conversation.Be wary of any drug 'treatments if offerd,these are usually about containing 'negative'behaviour and do little if anything to 'treat' the symptoms.

[Dijac]

Hi,

 

My son,W(90%diagnosed with AS) is 12 and has a lot of similarities with your son. He punches himself if he is upset or if he says something stupid , or threatens to kill himself, - he worries about things, for a while it was black holes, lately he worries he will have a stroke. He is advanced academically, but has problems at school as he says he has no friends. This has got worse since he has been at secondary school. He would stay on the computer all day, if we didn't limit him. He is very jealous of his younger brother, which causes fights all the time. I only have the 2 boys, but I imagine if your's are like mine, it must be very tiring for you.

 

We are still going through the official diagnosis - although his psychiatrist is pretty sure it is AS. I can't really offer much advice, just support - and except any outside support you are offered. I was initially upset when he told social services at school that his parents are terrible (because we limit computer) - but once they realised he wasn't in danger, they are actually quite helpful, and are lookign into groups he could join to help him, and us.

 

Welcome to the forum,

 

Diane

[susiemumof3]

Hi, thanks for your replies. It's really nice to know I'm not alone, because I certainly feel it at times.

I don't believe the clothes sensitivities have anything to do with the washing powder. I already use non-bio but he just refuses to wear any jeans or jumbers at all. The inappropriately speaking to people has worsened this past week. He shouted out the window at someone passing yesterday and was incredibly rude to me. We asked him to stop but he just said he can't. Also, with regards to sleeping; 11.45p.m he eventually fell asleep last night. He goes to bed at 7.30 and both his brothers are asleep within the hour. By 10.30, he was hysterical because he couldn't get to sleep. I really didn't know what to do with him. Eventually I had to let him come to bed with me. THis is the one and only time he will let anyone near him - he's not keen on physical contact, except from his baby brother.

The person from the hospital said she will refer him so that he can be prescribed a food additive which should help him drop off to sleep. Does anyone have experience with this. WE are very reluctant to medicate for anything, but with the sleep we may make an exception as he can't carry on like this.

What is the difference between AS and high functioning autism?? Sorry, I'm very new to all this. As I said, my concerns have been dismissed at every opportunnity until now so I've not really researched anything yet.

Thank you for the welcome.

Susie

[lindy2017]

Hi all, I'm new to this site and to Aspergers Syndrome as well actually.

I have three boys, J who is 8, S who is 5 and L who is 1. J has had unusual behavioural traits for many years and although I have raised concerns with every health professional I could think of, I've been told that he is 'jealous of his younger brother', 'unsettled because of the new baby', 'adjusting to school life', 'seeking attention' and just about every other cliche you can think of. Finally though, a school nurse has taken me seriously and after a lot of waiting he is to be assessed for Aspergers. I'm not 100% sure that this is what it is, but the symptoms certainly seem to match. I;ve found it all very challenging, particularly as my husband works 14 hour days, 6 days a week.

A bit more about J

As I said, he is 8. He is very gifted academically, except in writing, which he finds arduous and hard. Physically he is fine and developed well.

He has sensitivities to denim, wool, tight clothes, labels, and seams in socks. Loud noises really upset him although this has improved recently. However, he seems to be really scared of noises in films, i.e. spooky music. The most difficult thing is the temper tantrums. He throws quite violent tantrums for the smallest reason. I've tried numerous ways to combat this, but nothing seems to have any effect.

He is highly competitive particularly with computers. He would quite happily play a computer game for 8 hours without respite if I didn't restrict his time on them. He has friends at school although only two that he chooses to play with. All of their games are based on computer games that he has played. I worry sometimes that I'm to blame for letting him use computers at all.

He won't talk to adults generally unless he has to. When forced, he will be very abrupt and not chatty as he is with me. He has recently started saying things to people which are quite inappropriate, for example, we walked through a park and some teenagers were looking over at us. He shouted out 'OI!! What're you looking at?' I tried to explain to him that he shouldn't do this, but he didn't understand. Also, while doing a boot sale, when people were looking around, he was picking things up and saying to me, 'Why would anyone want to buy this? It's a load of rubbish!!!' I was so embarassed!

At school, he has an excellent behaviour record and his teacher has seen no problems. She tells me that at times he can appear to be a bit glum, or withdrawn. However, he has had several run-ins with other pupils when he told one he didn't like him and to go away. He also told this boys mum. (we don't talk anymore!)

He worries incessantly about things, particularly natural disasters. For a whole week he cried about going to school last year and eventually I found out that he was scared we were going to have a tornado because it was very windy and the leaves were blowing around in circles.

He takes everything very literally and can't seem to realise when we are joking with him, although again this has slightly improved.

He has trouble getting to sleep at night, and blamed his bed. We then bought him a bunk bed to share with 'S' but he now refuses to sleep on the top bunk in case the ceiling falls on him.

There are millions of things I could say about him, but I'll be typing for hours! Basically I worry for him. He threatens to kill himself, calls himself stupid, pulls his hair, punches himself and screams. It's highly distressing for both myself and his brothers.

Does any of this sound familiar?? Any advice.

Thank for reading!

x

Hi,I have 4 children aged 32,25,21 and 12.....the yougest is being assessed by CAMHS hopefully get dx soon i think he has aspergers his brothers and sister have traits not dx......he does not attend school due to it being too stresssful for him have home tutor supplied by school september we should be attending a nurture unit within the loacal secondary school .....hes already worried about that although weve had a couple of visits ...he has issues with clothing doesnt like lables or wooly things .....he has obsession with computer since he was 2ish ....his tutor said he isclever but finds it hard to rememeber memory problems he hates supermarkets bright lights loud noises food issues he likes one thing for a long time then says he hates it dont give me that again he talks about killing himself during meltdowns critises me at this time says it my fault...can get really angry like yesterday managed to get himto come to a car boot with his nan he walked really close to me and didntlike people bumping into him....said i know i shouldnt have come and ranted .......he is anxious when out and about....he finds it hard to get to sleep when his cousins have came round when i had a barbeque he said i want them to leave now when they started to touch his things i said you cant jsut say leave he didnt understand that.....there is more to say about him but as oyu said it would take a while.............i have tried to diverthis attention when he gets into meltdown soemtimes it works and other times it doesnt and he coudl go on for a while until he comes out of it ....it is distressing and drains me as i have MS and have been in tears over it .......so i know how you feel..............lindy

[Pancakemaker]

Hi sweetheart welcome to the forum.xx

[Special_talent123]

the sensitivity could be to do with the texture or washing powder. I found even non bio it gave me a reaction and make me extremely itchy so i use surcare liquid for washing your clothes and im fine in them now. I do find jeans really irritating and tend to avoid them myself because makes me feel uncomfortable and irritated my skin.

 

i also have sleep difficulties but found out ive been sleeping in afternoon too when im shattered. So im not asleep until 3, or 4 sometimes 6am.

 

just also so your aware that anyone diagnosed with Aspergers, PDD - NOS the diagnostic criteria may change in 2012 and be called ' Autistic Spectrum Disorders', if u ever get confused.

[Special_talent123]

difference between aspergers and high functioning autism

 

Aspergers Syndrome

 

High Functioning Autism

 

Autism

[susiemumof3]

Hi again, any ideas what sort of time scale we'll be looking at for diagnosis? We have been referred for multi-disciplinary (not quite sure what this involves?) and are still waiting after 8 months for something from CAMHS (sorry if that's spelt wrong!).

I know I should be patient but I'm finding it all a bit much at the moment. Sometimes i look at myself and realise I'm not being a very good parent. I seem to be very frustrated and angry a lot of the time at the moment. All of my energy seems to be spent on 'J'. He ran away from me in the supermarket yesterday and I had to ask the security team to help me find him. Luckily I had my husband with me as I couldn't have coped with the two younger ones as well! This was just because we couldn't find any top trumps cards.

The outbursts lasted for just under 2 hours and then he couldn't have been more different. He was helpful, apologetic, and basically a completely different child. I sometimes feel he has two personalities.

We've just been away for a week staying with family and I was able to spend a bit more quality time with him. It's strange the things you notice when there are less distractions. We had a lovely time on the bumper cars, but he seemed a bit distracted, looking up all the time. Days later, he eventually asked me why there are sparks coming from the ceiling on the bumper cars. I dont think as a child i would even have noticed it. I certainly wouldn't have waited three days to ask someone about it.

[Lynden]

by food additive I assume they mean melatonin? It's actually a hormone that can sometimes be lacking in children with ASD. It helps them switch off at night but wont keep them asleep. We use it intermittently for my son and it's very effective.

 

Clothes sensitivities are also quite common and if it's just specific items of clothes I wouldn't think it's the washing power. We have to cut the labels out of L's clothes before he will wear them and he wont wear shorts. If we put him in shorts he spends the whole time pulling them down to be trousers :/ The items you've mentioned can also be annoying for 'normal' people - I can't wear wool - it's too itchy, and I know my friends girls wont wear jeans as they say the denim is too scratchy.

 

Lynne