Meeting on Glen's progress after 12wks at residential home

[JeanneA]

Hi my hubby Carl and I attended a meeting at Glen's residential home yesterday to discuss Glen's progress in the 12 weeks he has been there, the time has gone so quickly! We are extremely pleased with how Glen is getting on and how they are motivating him and also gradually progressing well with his behaviour and staff are helping Glen to become much more independent. Sadly Glen did become upset/aggressive again just before we left, making us realising that for the time being it is best that we don't visit Glen at the home until he can understand more that when we visit him there we are not taking him back with us. Glen will still continue to come home for weekend visits. It is so distressing seeing Glen upset when we come away from the residential home it is not fair on him or us. Glen's next home weekend visit is September 9th, so we will look forward to that.

Edited August 20, 2011 by JeanneA

[Mandapanda]

Hi Jeanne

 

It must be very hard, wanting to see him but him getting upset when you go.

 

But absolutely brilliant that things are going so well in his placement. You know he's well looked after and safe and they have more people, resources etc to help him progress.

 

Not too long to wait for his next home visit

[JeanneA]

Hi mandapanda thanks for your comments. I rang up the home last night to see how Glen was to be told that he'd had a very bad day, he had been aggressive towards staff nearly all day despite their various tactics to try to stop his aggressive nothing worked. When I rang it was 6pm and a staff member said that Glen was calm then and eating his dinner so I am hoping all goes ok today I will be ringing up again probably during the afternoon to see if Glen is calmer. It all goes to show that when my hubby and I visit him he reacts as he does even the next day. I felt so upset last night when I heard how Glen had been. We will definitely have to stick to seeing him when he comes home for weekend visits only for the time being.

[lisac]

Hi Jeanne, sorry to hear that. Guess you live and learn and seeing him when he comes home for weekend visits does sound the best thing to do. I hope you're ok <'>

[JeanneA]

Hi Lisa I'm not too bad thanks it is upsetting though to hear of Glen being in such a bad way as he was yesterday. I am ringing the home at about 6pm to see how today has, fingers crossed Glen has had a better day, I will let you know!

[JeanneA]

Hi, I rang up a short while ago to see how Glen was today and was told he was a little better than yesterday in fact he was fine until about 12.00 then started being aggressive again towards staff and asking for home, signing the makaton sign for home. I think he had got so exhausted as when I rang up I was told that he had gone to his room and was laying down and possibly asleep. This is all so extremely upsetting to hear I really didn't think that Glen would be like this all weekend. I wish we hadn't have gone up on Friday now, he was fine until then.

I am hoping to speak to the deputy manager tomorrow as the manager of the home is out all week, which doesn't help.

[oxgirl]

Thinking of you, JeanneA. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[lisac]

Jeanne do you think he may be being more insistant about 'home' as you have been up and seen him two weekends in a row? He does seem quite perceptive, bless him.I am sure he will settle down again soon and now at least you know that visiting him there is not a good idea. Try not to worry , easier said than done i know, i worry all the time, this worry never seems to leave us! Do be kind to yourself and us know how it goes xx

[JsMum]

Really pleased that Glen has settled in even with the blip of your recent visit that throw him he thought he was going home again.

 

Does Glen have any time concept, days of the week, Months of the year, would a visual calander help him with the dates he goes home and in the future the days you visit.

 

Maybe he doesnt understand the difference between a visit and you coming to collect him, this may need further development if it can be that he could eventually understand the difference with social stories, visual cards, ect...

 

The positive is that other than the visit distress it looks like Glen has indeed settled in and you are happy with the care and support which is very important as Ive learnt myself.

 

It looks like the staff are able to help Glen and support him even when stratagies dont work they dont give up they continue to show concern, its a good sign he was eating his dinner it shows he wasnt too anxious not to eat.

 

Lets hope that the next 12wks are just as positive which Jay tells me in delight isnt far off christmas.

 

Time does litrately fly.xxx

 

JsMumxxx

Edited August 21, 2011 by JsMum

[JeanneA]

Hi thanks for all your kind comments. No Glen has no concept of time, his 'understanding' generally is quite poor thats why we have these problems, he just doesn't understand that when we visit him, thats all it is a visit we come and we go again. This upsets him as he still thinks he will be coming back with us. I am going to ring up the home today to try to speak to the deputy manager as the manager herself is not there this week. I do feel that when Glen gets in such a bad way as he did all weekend he needs some anxiety medication to calm him down such as lorazepam which he was having but doesn't have anymore. The home's psychiatrist felt Glen didn't need it so stopped prescribing it around 4 or 5 weeks ago now, however I feel that he should have it on prescription for emergencies only not to be given every day, had Glen had lorazepam over the weekend things may not have got as bad as they did.

[Mandapanda]

Hi thanks for all your kind comments. No Glen has no concept of time, his 'understanding' generally is quite poor thats why we have these problems, he just doesn't understand that when we visit him, thats all it is a visit we come and we go again. This upsets him as he still thinks he will be coming back with us. I am going to ring up the home today to try to speak to the deputy manager as the manager herself is not there this week. I do feel that when Glen gets in such a bad way as he did all weekend he needs some anxiety medication to calm him down such as lorazepam which he was having but doesn't have anymore. The home's psychiatrist felt Glen didn't need it so stopped prescribing it around 4 or 5 weeks ago now, however I feel that he should have it on prescription for emergencies only not to be given every day, had Glen had lorazepam over the weekend things may not have got as bad as they did.

 

Hi Jeanne

 

I agree it would be sensible for them to get him reviewed by the psychiatrist in light of this situation. They do need to have a plan in place for times such as this. I also agree with Jsmum that they probably need to work with him on the idea of visits compared to going home for the weekend. Maybe even the fact of seeing you in the placement is confusing him as you are 'out of context' there? They must've dealt with this kind of thing before.

 

At least you know he's not forgetting you! Thinking of you <'>

[JeanneA]

Thanks mandapanda I appreciate what you have said and how right you are. I realise Glen is homesick as he was like this half way through his mental health assessment at Prudhoe hospital earlier in the year. I'm just hoping he can get through this with help from staff at the home. I rang this morning to see how he was and he was much better than the weekend which is great news. I still haven't been able to speak to the deputy manager as yet but I'm hoping to tomorrow. Staff were hoping to get Glen out for a mini-bus ride this afternoon.

[JeanneA]

Glen didn't get out on the bus in the end yesterday as staff had hoped as he didn't want to go, so they didn't push it. However the manager who isn't actually at the home this week rang me last night it was so nice to speak to her, she is asking advice from the psychiatrist today regarding Glen's behaviour and his medications

 

The home manager has suggested that it could be a good idea if Glen were to come home once every 3 weeks for the weekend as opposed to every once every 4 weeks to see how that goes which I think is great and also we won't be going up there to see him for the time being as he is obviously getting confused by seeing us there thinking that we are going to take him home, Glen doesn't associated my husband and I with the residential home, that's why Glen is better when he comes home to us for his weekend visits although he does seem unsettled at times when he is back.

 

I rang up the residential home again a short while ago to see how Glen was today and was so happy to be told that he had been out for a walk this morning with staff and this afternoon was happily riding his bike round the grounds of the home, so fantastic news. Hopefully now Glen will get back to his happier, more settled self again.

Edited August 23, 2011 by JeanneA

[lisac]

Yay! thank god for that Jeanne!! Fabulous xx

[Mandapanda]

Hi Jeanne

 

Perhaps if it is a smaller gap he will get used to the 'routine' more easily. If they have a plan in place that should help too. You'll just have to see how it goes.

 

Could they take videos of him to send you between home visits? That way you could get to see him enjoying himself without him getting upset. Just a thought.

[JeanneA]

Hi ladies thanks for your comments I will look into the videos idea, thanks for that!