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pappy

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HI all

 

My whole life I have felt different than everyone else, about 11 yrs ago (age 31) believed it was because I had ADD, so I went and tried to get assessed via NHS. Found out that was not gonna happen, so had to go private and was indeed diagnosed ADD. Anyway, trialled different meds, not much help and buying them on private prescription was very, very expensive, so stopped taking them. Fast forward about 8 yrs and tried to get them on NHS, so needed to get assessed on NHS. A lot of messing about occurred within a year or 2 and finally got assessed by a child psychiatrist who dealt with learning diasabilities. He assessed me, but believed I wasn't 100% ADD and the last time I saw him, he said that he thought I was more Aspergers, which surprised me. Anyway, he retired and I saw his successor in order to get NHS meds, this eventually stopped as I wanted to stop the meds. Anyway, for a year or so I have managed and life has moved on until watching a tv show called Parenthood which is more or less an updated version of the Waltons. One of the brothers has a son who gets diagnosed with Aspergers and his development is ongoing and a big part of the show, I never noticed any similarities between him and myself, but enjoyed the show. Anyway, the last episode of season two was such a smack in the mouth to me as the boy had an "episode" in the hospital waiting room which was a demonstration of all his difficulties, but the shocking part was that everything he did, from throwing a tantrum, being very apathetic and the things he said was so very much me. After watching this, I noted to my wife that that was so much me and perhaps my psychiatrist was right about me, my wife totally agreed and noted that she had thought I had Aspergers earlier on from watching the previous episodes of the show. I'm not gonna lie, but this occured about 4-5 nights ago and I'm still on a huge downer about it. I never truly felt that ADD explained me as I suffer from bouts of depression which has been a lifelong affliction, social anxiety, have no friends, feel very uncomfortable in social occasions if I on the remore chance attend them, I also believe I have Irlen syndrome as my eyes are very sensitive to light, particularly reading, very, very sensitive to noise and definitaley a loner as well as a plethora of other problems, also although I'm a very good reader, always have been, I have a huge problem with reading comprehension, which is why I initially believed I was ADD. Furthermore, I'm very rule orientated and definitely prefer routine. Anyway, I hope to go the NHS route to get an assessment or failing that may go the private route all depending on costs. Thanks for reading :)

 

Paul

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Hi Paul, and welcome to the forum.

 

With Asperger's, people are often unaware of how they come across to others. You know the difficulties you face and how you feel on the inside, but other people can get a different view from the outside. This might be why your wife noticed similarities with the boy in the TV programme before you did. I remember when I first read about Asperger's and it didn't occur to me I might have it. Later I read an account by a person with Asperger's about how they feel, which is when I realised, "this is me."

 

Depression and social anxiety are not strictly part of Asperger's. They do seem to be very common in Asperger's and are probably often caused (in my opinion) by the difficulties we face, especially if those difficulties have gone undiagnosed and unsupported. Whilst Asperger's cannot be cured, understanding the root causes of you difficulties can be key to learning new skills. And separate difficulties like depression and anxiety are treatable conditions. So there is a lot of hope for your life to improve with increased understanding of your difficulties.

 

I don't know how you feel about the ADD diagnosis. Maybe it was inaccurate. It is possible to have Asperger's and ADD though.

 

It's inevitable for you to have mixed feelings about this realisation. I think it's very sensible to seek an assessment. Being sure of what you're dealing with is a good place to start. In the mean time though, you can still read up on Asperger's and try out coping strategies. You don't need a diagnosis for that.

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welcome

 

a good website to look if you think you may need specialist glasses for light sensitivity is by a specialist called Ian Jordan . he did my glasses and they have made so much difference

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Welcome. :thumbs: ...it sounds like your being a little rough on yourself, try not to focus too much on any one label.Wether or not you recieve a dx the bottom line is you are who you are, and acceptance of that is the key.All of us ASD OR NT are saddled with imperfections and blessed with gifts..we all just have a different variety....which makes us all individually unique and who we are xx

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Welcome.x,

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