Teachers lying

[SSS]

What chance does a child have if teachers are lying about them?

And even more so if the child has autism.

What can you do about teachers lying?

I really shows how vulnerable a child can be when teachers have no integrity?

[Mandapanda]

Hi

 

In my experience some teachers can be very biased and unprofessional. I have experience of a teacher who took an instant dislike to my son, yet loved a child who was a thug and a bully. That teacher ended up bullying my son and the headteacher stood up for her, so I had to move him to a different school.

 

Just occasionally you may get a teacher who isn't lying but is just misinterpreting what is going on, or your child may be misinterpreting what is going on. Clear communication can be very difficult sometimes. My eldest was adamant he hadn't 'thrown' a protractor across the room. It turned out he was spinning it and it spun off the desk. All the teacher saw was the protractor flying towards him onto the floor. No lying - just misunderstanding and misinterpretation on both sides.

 

If other children are telling you a different story to the teacher, in my experience they may be more reliable.

 

You need to sit down with the teacher and talk about things calmly without making any accusations, you are trying to clarify what is going on and why stories don't match up.

[baddad]

Sorry, just wanted to speak up for teachers here and say that the idea of teachers taking 'instant dislikes' to (presumably well-behaved) children while loving bullies and thugs sounds a bit, erm, bias. As does the assertion that you might 'just occasionally get one who isn't lying but is misinterpreting', implying as it does that the vast majority would interpret a situation correctly but lie about it.

 

I also think that children, especially children with compromised social understanding, are far more likely to misunderstand / misinterpret situations than adults generally, and to collude with one another to see (i.e. an adult teacher) someone else 'get into trouble'.

 

I do agree with the final statement, though, that sitting down calmly and trying to clarify the situation is undoubtedly the best way forward, but think to do that you have to have an open mind and be willing to accept that your child may be in the wrong. I think you also have to accept that the vast majority of children (whether autistic or not) tend to act like children and start with the premise until proven otherwise that adults (even teachers) behave like adults. From the sound of it, those things aren't going to happen here, though, and that will probably end up creating a real/bigger conflict.

 

L&P

 

BD

[SSS]

Mandapanda,

Previously had problems with misinterpretation and communications but not in this case,

some of my sons story is backed up with another child in his class.

I have only sat down with the headteacher and he backs his staff as they never tell lies!

But if they are telling lies what other lies are they telling?

Just because they are teachers do not make them any more honest than a child,

but it is easier for them to make out the child with autism is the liar and they are telling the truth.

 

SSS.

 

What chance does a child have if teachers are lying about them?

And even more so if the child has autism.

What can you do about teachers lying?

I really shows how vulnerable a child can be when teachers have no integrity?

[rannoch]

I don't doubt for a second that your son could be telling the truth...at least, the truth as he sees it. Without knowing the details of the incident that set this off, it would be impossible to say either way. Sometimes, issues are not worth escalating on principle, just because you believe school is "telling lies". Children's difficulties in school are rarely a simple, black and white issue. By taking a confrontational approach and accusing the teacher of "telling lies", you are actually making life harder for your son at school. Kids have to learn to get on with others, maintain and repair relationships and (like it or not) submit to the decisions of people in positions of authority. Kids also learn that they will encounter unfairness and dishonesty in the world, and that things are rarely a matter of "truth" and "lies". These things can all be harder for autistic children to cope with, so they need all the support and encouragement they can get.

[Suze]

Hi, I,m sorry that you are having problems at school, and hope you can find a way forward from this , for both you and your son.

.............I would also just like to add that in all the yrs my son has been in the educational system I,ve never met a teacher like the one you describe.Granted there are some bad teachers out there and my son had one of them for a yr, but they never lied as you describe.In fact on the whole all the teachers we have had contact with have been fantastic , and some in particular outstanding.My son on the other hand has been challenging , difficult at times and has told lies...so there you go ...and he has admitted this too....I wish you luck with the school , tread carefully accussing someone of what you are is a very serious offence and one the school won,t take lightly.Make sure your a doubly sure of the facts and have evidence.Was there a TA in the class??

[bid]

We had a bad experience with my eldest son's mainstream secondary school, but we haven't let it colour our opinion of all schools or all teachers.

 

Logically, you could say that teachers are no more likely to lie than parents or children.

 

The vast majority of teachers go into teaching because they like kids and are enthusiastic about their subject.

 

Bid

Edited September 17, 2011 by bid

[Mumble]

The vast majority of teachers go into teaching because they like kids and are enthusiastic about their subject.

No, they do it for the long holidays - everyone knows that!

[bid]

No, they do it for the long holidays - everyone knows that!

 

Doh, forgot about that! And they all roll out of school at 3.30 too!! Lazy s*ds!!

 

Bid

[bid]

 

Multiple post!!

Edited September 17, 2011 by bid

[SSS]

Most of the problems (+90%) at his school are with the same teacher and same classroom assistant,

and on this day it was with both of them.

 

As far as I’m concerned it’s a form of bullying.

 

I can’t directly accuse them of lying but I can let the headteacher know indirectly.

 

SSS.

[Sally44]

Can you be more specific about what they lied about?

 

I have had examples of teachers/schools/professionals withholding information and altering professional advice to suit their purposes and not to meet my son's needs.

 

I do have examples of professionals saying things verbally to both my husband and I, and then denying it.

 

I do have examples of professionals giving very specific advice about the kind of support and placement that the LA withheld from myself and an Educational Tribunal. I have examples of the LA altering and downgrading provision and support recommended by their own professionals.

 

I have been promised support and provision for my son verbally on the understanding I kept him mainstream and then been refused that same support and provision in writing some months later.

 

I have had teachers/school effectively gagged by the LA.

 

The school have refused to answer questions, speak to, or allow independent professionals into their school.

 

BUT - as stated above - I think that teachers want the kids they teach to be happy and to do well. The difficulties tend to start WHEN the child is not doing well, or not coping, and schools/LAs do not like to admit that they cannot meet a child's needs. They tend to take this as a personal criticism, rather than a fact about the child. So they try not to highlight any needs they are not meeting, or anything that would demonstrate the child is not coping or making progress due to issues in school. Trying to get answers or admissions is sometimes harder than trying to catch a slippery fish that has been swimming in a barrel of oil.

 

If you can be more specific, we might have some ideas on how to move forward from your current position.

[SSS]

Sally44,

 

No, I’m not prepared to repeat the lies about my son (because some on here are nasty – not you, in fact you are one of the few on here that talk sense)

 

He was not allowed his timeout; he was not causing any problems but did get confused about something and when he is confused he is allowed timeout to re-gather his thoughts (the timeout signs are easy to spot) and this was not allowed and he was badgered.

 

If I did not know better I would have thought you stayed in the same LA as us,

 

i.e. a lot of broken promises.

 

And this statement is spot on,

“and schools/LAs do not like to admit that they cannot meet a child's needs”

 

 

There was incident about ten months ago when one of his teacher turned to him and drew him a dirty look, the very little self a steam he had could be seen leaving him as he just wandered of unwanted. This nasty teacher denied this at a later date but she forgot it was witnessed by his mum and dad.

 

 

I have an older son and when he has in P5 he got bullied to the point it was affecting his heath, and the school more or less did nothing. One of the bullies would hit my son and nothing would every happen, this bully eventually hit a teacher and got permanently excluded, but nothing every happened when he hit my son.

The bullying only stopped when he switched schools!

My son did great in his new school and won plenty of rewards in P6 and P7 and was school captain in P7 and won pupil of the year in P7 (now in S4), so there are some good schools and good teachers.

 

 

So do I have a problem with some teachers?

 

 

SSS.

[Sally44]

It is very difficult to check that specific supports and strategies are being used unless you are there 24/7. But you would expect that the teacher/school would know and understand that IF he is not given timeout that he could become more upset and so it would be much better to use that.

 

Are you saying that he requested timeout and the teacher refused to give it to him? It might be best to check as well with the teacher whether she understood he had asked for timeout. How is he supposed to request it. Did that happen?

 

The best way forward, without getting confrontational with the school, might be to say that that is what your child has said ie. that he asked for time out and was denied it. If they say that did not happen, you can ask that "requesting time out" become a target on his IEP. In that way they have to demonstrate (at least until the next IEP is written - usually termly), that he knows how to request timeout, that he can demonstrate in the functional setting HOW he should request timeout and that he achieves this and gets the timeout he has requested.

 

It may be worth asking the teacher IF there are occasions where they feel that your son has requested timeout and they felt he did not need it. Could he be using this as an avoidance behaviour? And if he is, that in itself should be looked into as to WHY he is asking for timeout ie. to avoid what? Because that in itself is a difficulty he is experiencing that he is not coping with.

 

You can ask the parent partnership to be with you at the IEP meeting. And they should be able to help ensure that the IEP target is SMART.

 

It might be better to use any dialogue to say that something has upset your child, and so it would be helpful IF him requesting time out is a target so that your son, school and you are confident that he is able to recognise when he needs timeout, that he is capable of using the verbal or visual prompt to request it, and that when that happens it is also recorded that he gets the timeout.

 

Is he in a special school, ASD unit or mainstream?

Edited September 17, 2011 by Sally44