Hello People

[Sidewinder040]

Hi,

 

I've posted a couple of replies on this forum and feel i should introduce myself. I am a middle aged married man, father of 2 teenaged daughters. They know their Father is a bit of a geek, is obsessed with computers and other things I find cool, but i think they just accept me as i am. I enjoy pleasant one to one conversation, although in groups of people i find it hard to keep track of what is being said and tend to become a withdrawn spectator.

 

I haven't had a diagnosis but i have very little doubt that i have ASD - i scored 41 in the Simon Baron-Cohen AS test and have always though that 'i march to the beat of a different drum' and that there is some part of my social perception missing.

 

I know a lot of middle-aged men would like to revisit their younger years, but i wouldn't i am happier now than i was. Going through the dating game and trying to 'fit in' were very very painful for me. Eventually I met someone was very patient and gave me the time i needed to learn to trust and open up to another person.

 

I've started reading Tony Atwood's 'Complete Guide To Aspergers' and am highlighting many passages which i can relate to and this in turn makes me re-live many experiences from a different point of view. After many years of feeling isolated and unsure of why i am like i am, i am now beginning to understand. It's been an epiphany in my like after so long, that i am not some sort of 'nutter' ,'freak' or 'idiot' (as i accused myself of being) i just think differently and approach life accordingly.

 

I don't know if i will pursue a diagnosis or not. Will it be beneficial for me? I think i will contact the local support group though and see how i get on. I might even be able to meet a group of people who will let me be myself without judging me.

 

Are there any other people from my age group on this Forum?

 

Sidewinder

[bid]

Hi and welcome

 

I am 45, married and got my dx when I was 41. I also have an adult son who has AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia.

 

Bid

[Sidewinder040]

Hi Bid,

Thanks for your reply - it is good that your son has a father who understands a lot of the difficulties he experiences each day and can listen to him and give advice from the experiences you have had.

 

What did it mean to you to get a diagnosis?

Although i expect that you have been able to develop coping mechanisms to help you, have you had any additional help since your dx to help? What i mean is would it be beneficial for me to seek help.

 

Sidewinder

[bid]

Oh dear, I'm a woman!

 

For me my dx meant I realised I wasn't dysfunctional, inadequate and abnormal as I had felt for the majority of my life, I was just autistic. So I guess, making sense of who I am.

 

Around the time of my dx, although not as a result of it, I had 9 months of counselling, with a counsellor who was experienced at working with people with AS. This was hugely beneficial.

 

After my dx I was also assessed for sensory integration disorder, which again put much of my previous life experience into perspective. For example, I have prosopagnosia, but before I had no idea why I perceive faces the way I do, or have problems recognising my children, etc.

 

I haven't really needed any further support. I work at a residential special school, so my team has a good understanding of autism, plus my husband is a teacher at a special school too. So my life is centred around special needs...I imagine if I worked in another career things might be very different.

 

Bid

Edited October 22, 2011 by bid

[Sidewinder040]

Sorry Bid - I don't know why i assumed you were a fella.

It sounds like you have good support, your in the right job! It must be very rewarding, to give help and also receive help.

 

I think the senior management where work probably realise i have some issues. After a management meeting, i heard that they were all warned to be tolerant of people who are 'different' and not to 'stage whisper' about them. As they were telling me this they gave me a sort of accusing or resentful look. I ignored the look because i though i was doing a good act at being normal and thought people just thought i was just a little quirky. So as long as i ignore peer pressure and not allow myself to be provoked, i can manage ok.

 

I am happy in myself with who and what i am and can't imagine being any other way. I should try to get in touch with the Support Group to help with socialising.

 

I know from this forum that there are people who are severely affected by ASD and have a lot more troubles than i do. At least i have my family around me and am able to hold a job down.

 

Isn't it strange how when reading Tony Atwood's book how it can explain my whole life and why i live/act the way i do. I've been trying to work myself out for years, my brain going over and over past experiences and for all my rationalising, i didn't even come close to realising what is wrong.

 

Take care,

 

Sidewinder.

[bid]

No worries

 

Bid

[darkshine]

I wish I could go from feeling like this:

'nutter' ,'freak' or 'idiot' (as i accused myself of being)

 

To feeling like this:

For me my dx meant I realised I wasn't dysfunctional, inadequate and abnormal as I had felt for the majority of my life, I was just autistic. So I guess, making sense of who I am.

 

I think we've said hello somewhere already but I'm in a somewhat sociable mood so "hello"

[Sidewinder040]

Hi Darkshine,

Thanks for the greeting. I think youre right, we have both taken part in another thread. I had a look at your profile - Amiga 500, I have one in my attic - cool

[darkshine]

Its the only console I regret selling

[RainbowsButterflies]

Hi and welcome

[Sidewinder040]

Hi and welcome

Thank-you RainbowsButterflies

 

This is a good place to hang out, with some very pleasant people.