Concerns over youngest but sure its NOT ASD

[justine1]

Hi all

 

I have had concerns about my youngest son Elijah(3) for some time now and two HV have also mentioned we need to keep an eye on him. However I really don't believe it is ASD.Looking at both Sam and Dan (both diagnosed with ASD) even though they have very different dx reports have different behaviours they still have the very obvious signs, whereas Eli does not.

 

I wondered if some siblings may have other conditions or at least stronger traits because of a dx in the family? If that makes sense? I feel Eli may have issues with staying clean he washes his hands alot and even when he has fallen over and had a graze he is more concerned about cleaning his hands than the wound! He has an obsession with computers, mobiles and calculators and has been this way since about 16mths. He is a big boy but its deceiving as he hardly eats, he was at full time nursery (5 days a week 7.30am-6pm) and they even used to say how little he has eaten each day.

 

The thing is he is very affectionate, has great eye contact, telling him off is relatively easy as although he cries he does seem to understand what he has done wrong, he is not that sensitive to sound though he does'nt like people mowing their lawn or any sort of road works. My other two seem to be "in their own world" but he is not really like that, he interacts quite well. He did have a small delay in speech but he talks alot and quite clearly. He has had delays in potty training to but there has been alot going on so I blame myself for that.

 

It is so hard to know what is "normal" because I have two ASD boys and Josh (11) is gifted so his behaviour is not quite average/normal either. He has social problems and also has issues with things not being in order, being neat all the time. His teachers have always said he is a perfectionist and takes time to do things right. So sometimes I feel he is bordering though again he is very NT.

 

I just wondered if other parents with a mix of ASD and NT find the same thing? It is quite odd that my two ASD boys look similar (more like their dad)and my two NT boys look similar (more like my side of the family) not sure if this explains things more or is just a coincidence.

[trekster]

It's possible the kids that are 'NT' could be compensating for their difficulties without them

being a major problem for them.

 

Personally im not too keen on the diagnosis of 'autistic tendencies' as it seems like a cop out

for 'we dont know if their autistic or not'.

 

There is something which can be similar to autism in some ways known as

Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. These folk have multiple obsessions but seem to be

without the literalness of ASD.

[justine1]

It's possible the kids that are 'NT' could be compensating for their difficulties without them

being a major problem for them.

 

Personally im not too keen on the diagnosis of 'autistic tendencies' as it seems like a cop out

for 'we dont know if their autistic or not'.

 

There is something which can be similar to autism in some ways known as

Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. These folk have multiple obsessions but seem to be

without the literalness of ASD.

 

I am not looking for a dx for my eldest at all, and while I may do later on for my youngest I am not too worried at the moment I am waiting for him to start school first. He had complications at birth and has had problems with his head since birth and doctors have said he may have development problems. However other than what I listed I cannot see any problem with him, he may have LD and I have prepared myself mentally for that but at the moment I am happy with his progress.

 

The main point of my post is just to see if others find similar behaviours in their home i.e NT and ASD kids, just curious really nothing more!

[KezT]

my youngest is only 19 mths, but I'm positive he is not ASD - even though the nursery is quite upset that he doesn't speak yet and he does have a bit of an obsession with cleaning/tidying (if only the older ones would pick up on that a bit LOL).

 

I think we notice personality traits/quirks more than families with only NT kids, because we've trained ourselves to see our kids from a slightly different PoV. I know that when DS1 was dx'd and we went on that amazingly steep learning curve, it affected the way we parented out NT girls too - even though they did not have any behavioural issues.

 

It is hard to know what is "normal" in the same way as it is hard to know what are "autistic" behavioulrs and what are "annoying child" behaviours. You have to trust your knowledge, instincts and education to hep you make the decision for each child...

[Kathryn]

Well I only have one child with AS and one who is so called NT. The NT child stims a lot - in fact more than the one with AS ever did, but has no other significant traits. He is obssessed with the computer and x box but then so are all of his friends, so that's not particularly significant.

 

Oddly enough, it is the NT child who is neat and ordered whilst the AS child lives in permanent chaos!

 

K x

[justine1]

Thanks Kez and Kathryn Thats exactly what I was looking for. Kathryn that is exactly how mine are Sam and Dan are definatley not neat and Eli and Josh are very neat. So funny and goes to prove how different ASD and NT kids are.

 

Thanks for the feedback, its just interesting.