Hello

[itsjustme]

Hello, I just joined this forum, basically for the intent of asking this one question. Do you think I have aspergers syndrome? Each passing day in the last month or so has made me more certain, but I didn't notice anything really before I found out what it was then. So I'll write a little about me, so you can give me your completely honest opinion.

 

I'm an English 15 year old girl. I have always been quiet, only having 2 or 3 close friends, who I still have from nursery. I never enjoyed playing in groups of more than around 4, but people Lways assumed it was my shyness. When I was young, I never said a word if I could help it, and I only whispered until age 5, when a very loud girl who dragged me about the place, visiting this and that, doing the other. That was when I have my first memory of what I now believe to be 'shutdown'. Especially at school, I developed a habit of going to the 'toilet' whenever something freaked me, like lots of people looking at me, or falling over (that ring of people that gathers round hurt people in a playground sound familiar?). In the bathroom, I often locked myself in, the longest I remember was for 2 hours, over lunch and into the afternoon. Nobody ever asked much, Except people always thought I'd fallen out with someone, as smaller kids do.

 

As I grew up, I didn't really notice being that much more different from others around me. Looking back, I can see I was. I was the one who played the computer games, who didn't go to the park, who took 2 years longer than anyone else to make conscious decisions to brush my hair without being told, or do my teeth, ect. I've always had a thing about lightswitches, most of the lights in my house have 2 switches, so I fiddle around until they're all either the same way, or in a specific pattern of my choosing. I sort bookshelves alphabetically, but within series's and brush my hair 27 strokes on all 4 'sections'. It always seemed perfectly reasonable, but by the time I was in year 7, many called me a freak on sight. Eventually I swapped schools, where instincts hit me to shut up and speak when spoken to. I do enjoy human contact, within moderation. For instance, I could speak to 10 different people over the day, but not at once.

 

I think I was coping ok with 'high school life' until around a year ago, when I began to get more people fears. My parents don't exactly help, they are constantly reminding me I'm not a 'real' teen like my sister, I've never caught a bus on my own, I don't go into town with my friends, I don't care about boys and makeup. The last point I know everyone doesn't, but I don't understand it at all, I can't get the concept of makeup.

 

Before I read about aspergers (quite a bit, I have to admit) I didn't really realise that my social skills could be so bad for any particular reason. I have recently suffered from bouts of what I can only describe as getting a ball of cotton wool stuck in my mouth, preventing me from talking when acquainted adults, who I don't know well talk to me. This includes teachers, and distant relatives. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to cry,or run away maybe.

 

I believe I can mostly tell people's feeling, I can tell anger and happiness, but I'm sometimes the last to notice someone is upset. Hugging never grew on me, but that isn't always connected to something, some people just don't like physical contact that much. My favourite subjects are sciences, particularly biology, and I hate languages and sport. I'm probably just a whining teen who thinks her life is rubbish, but I really want some closure to stop my head running wild with the idea.

 

I've never had trouble writing down my thoughts on paper(or online, as the case may be) and I'm an active forum member in many gaming forums, under a different username. I belong to a social group in an mmo(online multiplayer to those who don't know) in which I'm very active, and never had any problems in, until yesterday. That's really what prompted this forum visit, I've never felt that social panic feeling online before, and I was worried it is getting worse.

 

I would go to a doctor, but there is no way on this planet I'm telling a real person, nobody I know face to face, what I think, and I can't get to the doctors on my own. I'm a terrible liar, or I would go under pretence of something else. As I said earlier though, I'm scared of buses. Sorry this is a long post, it's actually the longest forum thing I've ever written I think...

[philipo]

what foods do you like/dislike?Do you like having baths and swimming?Hoe do you get on with fashion and clothes?Do you sleep well? A lot of symptoms of asd/spergers/autisim can be very easily be interpretted other ways,like teenagerdom and social anxiety.Its normal for your head to be running with wild ideas,your young and less blinkerd.Search the subject a bit more for a few more months and if you still fell the same then ask your parents to take you to the GP.There's a lot of pressure and stress for young people at your age .

[justine1]

Hi

Welcome to the forum. If you cannot get to the GP is there someone you trust who can go with you? If you have not told your parents maybe you should,if its hard maybe you could print off what you have typed on here. If you go for a diagnosis they will want some input from at least one of your parents.

 

You can also print off what you typed here to show the GP and maybe add any other things that maybe troubling you. That way you don't need to speak about it in too much detail as its all down on paper and you are less likely to forget things.

 

I would recommend going even if you cope well it may be able to help you understand yourself more.

 

Good luck.

 

Sorry but Philipo not sure what your questions have got to do with ASD I have two ASD boys and all the questions you ask would be dramatically different for each of them i.e one loves water/swimming the other not so much. So I would not base these on whether someone has ASD or not.But I do agree with the rest of your post.

[itsjustme]

Thank you for your replies. I will keep in mind that maybe I should go, I can tell you now that I won't be running down the stairs with a copy of this post anytime soon. I'll stay around, do a bit more reading. Seeing as I can cope alright, I suppose if I really had to, I could wait until I have my own vehicle whatever I end up with.

 

And just for the record, I don't tend to fit in with fashion, I enjoy swimming but take showers as little as possible (we don't have a bath) I like foods like pasta and soup, but I don't like spicy food or sauces(ketchup, gravy, whatever). I tend to sleep as well as I'm feeling on that particular day,naïf I had a good day I'll sleep the whole night, if something's on my mind I only end up with 4-6 hours of proper sleep, because I wake up a lot. I also have a cat and a dog, if that would be relevant at all.

 

Thanks for the advice about seeing a GP, I might use printing off this post/my thoughts at that time if I end up in that situation. Thanks again

[darkshine]

Hello

 

Knowledge can be a useful thing. Whether you have AS (aspergers syndrome) or not, the better you know yourself the more chance you have of addressing things in your life that are unsatisfactory to you (like social anxiety for example - if you know this is a problem, you know what you are dealing with, then you can learn more about how to cope better).

 

Best

 

Darkshine

[Tally]

Hello, and welcome. Yes it does sound as though you may have asperger's syndrome. I would encourage you to talk to someone soon about this because it can be much harder to get an assessment as an adult. You stand a much better chance of getting assessed if you can do it while you're still in the children's system. Your parent may be as confused as you about why you are different. They may blame themselves for your difficulties. If you can talk about the possibility of asperger's with them, they may be able to support you better and help get you assessed.

[dekra]

You can go see your GP now without your parents knowledge. Your GP just needs to know you understand the situation well enough that you don't need a responsible adult there to advocate for you. I would recommend you go see him/her asap and get things moving. As already said if you can get the ball moving whilst you are still legally a child you will get more help than if you wait a short time then go through the process as an "adult".