IEP review yesterday

[KarenT]

We went for James' first IEP review yesterday, informally held with only the parents, teacher and SENCO present. In short, James has achieved all the targets set for him when he was put on SA+ in March, and the teachers are very pleased with his progress. Apparently he's settled down very well and is behaving not much differently from his peers. However, teacher did say that other staff have commented that 'you hardly notice James these days', particularly in the last seven to eight weeks, which curiously is about the same time he's been utterly uncontrollable at home. It's a bit of a worry that he might be more stressed than he appears and is taking it out at home. He just doesn't seem stressed at all though - he absolutely loves school, won't miss a day, teachers say he's working hard and is very motivated etc etc. But it's too much of a coincidence that his home personality has worsened to such a degree that we cannot manage him at the same time that he's made such dramatic improvements in school. His behaviour here does seem to be stress-led but I can't be sure whether it's a fall-out from school or something that's kicking him off when he gets out.

 

The thing is, I'm not sure if I should be worried about this or not. I know I should feel pleased that he's doing so well in school and I'm looking into more help with the problems we have at home, but I can't help wondering how much the two are connected. I know there have been discussions on the forum on this subject before, so forgive me if I'm going over old ground, but I'd be interested to know what others make of this situation.

 

Incidentally, they're not making new targets for the new term but leaving the old ones in place so that his new teacher is aware that he's had problems in this area in the past, and so that she can continue to reinforce them. I think that's quite a good idea but I'm not sure where it leaves James in terms of further help. Or perhaps they don't think he needs any more at this stage?

 

Karen

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[Helen]

Karen, good news about your son's progress

 

On another matter, I think you should be concerned about the Senco's practice:

Incidentally, they're not making new targets for the new term but leaving the old ones in place so that his new teacher is aware that he's had problems in this area in the past

Your son has a lazy Senco. If you decided to apply for a statutory assessment at a later date then the above form of record keeping could hinder your application.

As of this moment in time the information on your son's present IEP would be incorrect - in the context that your son has already met his targets.

 

If a child has met their targets on their IEP then either new targets are set, or,

if the child has met their targets and there aren't any other targets then the child goes down a SEN stage

Edited July 5, 2005 by Helen

[oracle]

I think that maybe your son is using up every inch of his control and all of his coping strategies just to get through the day at school. My eldest with AS was the same. The problems only started when he came home. David had more star cards and merits cards for good work and good behaviour than any other child in his Primary School, but he would come home and all but trash the house.

 

David now tells me that he behaved this way in school so that he did not stand out. So it was something he was doing and was very aware that he was doing, because he did not like being singled out at all for anything. He says that if you just sat there and got on with it you were left alone, and that is pretty much what he wanted. He said if he tried hard he could almost be invisible. The big difference with David was he actually hated school, I realise that now.

 

Maybe your son feels under pressure at school but does not even realise it? Some of our kids place expectations and restrictions on themselves.

 

The problem is when a child is holding themselves in to this extent then something has to give elsewhere - and that is usually in the home.

 

Did you mention your concerns at school. Of course even if you did because they are not seeing the problems they would probably not be that concerned.

 

Carole

[phasmid]

Hi Karen,

 

As I was reading your post a few things were popping into my head to say to you. I don't need to...simply because Helen and Carole have already said them. I agree totally with both posts. So:

 

Re Helen's post: I agree, the SENCo is being lazy. If targets have been met then new ones should be set. His new teacher can be given a copy of previous IEP's to gauge where he was to where he is and how he got there. What you have been told sounds like a cop-out.

 

Re Carole's post: Phas Jr was pretty much the same. He would 'hold it together' at school, but step through the door and we'd get instant meltdown! Home is safe, you can drop the act, and be 'you'. He used to do this regularly. The school had no hassle from him - that was our job. I can only say it did get better. From a school staff point of view (and this WILL sound like an excuse, sorry - it's not meant too) this sort of problem occuring 'at home' is rarely a 'school problem'. UNLESS, of course the meltdown continues into school the next day. That said, I would ALWAYS, as Carole suggests, advise school of whats going on at home. The 'big picture' can often help them, even if they can't help you. You could seek support from other sources for the home meltdowns though, and school could back you up with something along the lines of 'Mrs/Ms XXXX has spoken to us 'X' times about son's meltdowns at home...etc' providing they know about it.

 

Striking that balance where all is hunky-dory for everyone concerned all of the time is not an easy task to achieve. It can be done, so hang on in there.

[KarenT]

Thanks for your replies. To be fair to the SENCo and the teacher, I think they were responding to my concerns that James might be potentially more stressed than he seems when they didn't set more targets. There was some discussion about whether or not they should but couldn't see anything else to set, as his behaviour was now more or less in line with his peers. However, they are aware that he can be upset by routine changes and anticipate that there may be problems when he enters Y2, so I suppose they're keeping the existing targets in place so that the new teacher doesn't just put them aside as 'done' but keeps on with them so that he settles in his new class. And I checked with his teacher yesterday and he'll stay on SA+ as well. I don't really feel that they're trying to put anything past me.

 

This year we really have had excellent communication between his class teachers (he has two, job-share) and home, to the point where one has been almost embarrassed to tell me how well-behaved he's been in school when she knows how hard he is to manage at home. That said, I don't expect they realise just HOW bad things are, but during the meeting I was careful to stress how severe the problems were over half-term when we could barely speak to James without him going into a rant or tantrum of some sort. I made sure they understood how difficult homework is likely to be in this context.

 

The issue of 'holding things together' is a worry for me because I'm just not sure how much it applies to James. I think it may be more that he's calm and relaxed in school and feels settled enough not to be under pressure, that conforming is relatively easy for him and that's why so little of his Beelzebub persona comes out there. But I can't be sure that he's not under some stress he's not yet aware of because of his immaturity, and I don't want to make matters worse for him. Perhaps I'm just being over-cautious because in the past one little mistake on my part has often led to lasting negative effects.

 

I am certainly going to bear your advice in mind but I think for now I'll go with what's been agreed and see how things to when he gets in to Y2. I've arranged for the Autism Liaison Worker to see him a few weeks into term and I'll keep her posted on how things are going, then I'll probably invite her to the next review along with my IPS. With any luck James should have a full diagnosis by the next review anyway, so more professionals will attend.

 

Thanks for your help.

 

Karen

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[phasmid]

The issue of 'holding things together' is a worry for me because I'm just not sure how much it applies to James. I think it may be more that he's calm and relaxed in school and feels settled enough not to be under pressure, that conforming is relatively easy for him and that's why so little of his Beelzebub persona comes out there. But I can't be sure that he's not under some stress he's not yet aware of because of his immaturity, and I don't want to make matters worse for him. Perhaps I'm just being over-cautious because in the past one little mistake on my part has often led to lasting negative effects.

 

School is ROUTINE ROUTINE ROUTINE! Evrything happens to a timetable, meals,lessons breaks,and of the day etc. He knows whats going to happen and when ASD heaven! But, they still have to cope with the odd bits that happen from day to day - and thats difficult. We have been in exactly the same situation. Though I think Phas jr's targets that were set included things like copping with new class, timetable and routines - they don't always have to be educational targets!

 

As I said it is all a question of striking a balance. I'm sure you'll get there.