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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
Fourthdimension

A stranger in a strange world

Stranger in a strange world  

5 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you think this is due to:

    • Social acceptance
      3
    • Physiology
      2
    • Nurture
      0
    • Other
      0


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Hey, Well as we all know a symptom of aspergers is feeling that we dont belong in this world.

 

Recently despite my life going very well and despite the fact that my brain has got me social acceptance in most of my classes and people now dont look at me as weird just different i still had a break down only a few nights ago

 

I was listening to the smiths song asleep when it first happened because i can relate to this song

"Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep.

Am tired and i want to go to bed.

Sing me to sleep , sing me to sleep.

and in the morning dont try to wake me.

because i ll be gone.

I want you to know that deep in the cell of my heart

i ll be so glad too go"

 

I feel like this i feel like this world is not meant for me and despite a degree of social acceptance i still feel outcasted because we can all put on masks and pretend to be other people hat were good at adaptation but to have some one totally understand how you feel is a total different matter and even if there was such a person , dropping all your defence mechanisms to let this person in is harder than it looks because it becomes second nature.

 

I have found such a person , she is like my reflection and i can tell her anything but still it does not help the feeling i dont belong here. maybe another time , another place.

 

People pray too god and ask them for longlivity , to prolong their life and prevent death but I, well i pray for death. I want to die and when i do i ll feel at peace and so happy to go but am too proud to hurt myself. Its torture living here, been here. Watching these ants crowd around with insignificance.

 

I am totally monothropic

 

this leads to my question: Do you think our pain for longing to be away from this place , our feeling of been an alien to this world do you think this is due to lack of social acceptance or something else?

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baddad   

 

this leads to my question: Do you think our pain for longing to be away from this place , our feeling of been an alien to this world do you think this is due to lack of social acceptance or something else?

 

 

I think you are too keen (needy, perhaps?) to project your own point of view (or what you want to project as your own point of view) onto others. Maybe you want to justify the feelings you have (or say you have / believe you have) by projecting them onto others, in which case your sense of 'alienness' falls into the category of 'something else'. Either way, it has nothing to do with the way either autistic people or non autistic people think, because there is no such thing as a way of 'thinking' that is universal to all autistic people or all non autistic people; that's an illusion you've created and invested in for yourself.

 

L&P

 

BD

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bid   

While I'm sorry that you feel this way, Fourthdimension, not everyone with AS feels like this.

 

It may not feel like it to you at the moment, but it is perfectly possible for people with AS to be happy with their lives and who they are.

 

Have you thought about doing thngs that help you look outwards? I'm a firm believer in the positive power of doing things for others. There are plently of projects that need volunteers. You could perhaps apply your interest in autism in a practical way, and volunteer to work with adults or young people with severe autism.

 

I hope you find a more positive place soon.

 

Bid :)

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Tally   
this leads to my question: Do you think our pain for longing to be away from this place , our feeling of been an alien to this world do you think this is due to lack of social acceptance or something else?

 

Well I do feel a bit like an alien sometimes, certainly I do feel that I am different to most people. But that doesn't mean I wish I were "away from this place" or dead. Feeling different does not necessarily have to lead to feeling suicidal.

 

The main thing that makes me feel different is because I have symptoms that genuinely make me different. If my differences were socially accepted, I would still have differences and be aware of them.

 

I do think that when you find yourself relating too closely to Smiths songs it's time to recognise that something's going a bit wrong and you might need some help.

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bid   

I do think that when you find yourself relating too closely to Smiths songs it's time to recognise that something's going a bit wrong and you might need some help.

 

Oh dear, but as someone who had a room opposite a Smiths fan when I was at uni in the 80s this did make me chuckle! :shame:

 

Bid :)

Edited by bid

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prof   

People with AS have unique strengths. If you see things differently from others, that difference in perspective can also be useful by providing an unconventional approach to problem solving. There is nothing wrong with being different even if you have to try harder to gain social acceptance (and don't always succeed).

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baddad   

People with AS have unique strengths.

 

No they don't. People have strengths and weaknesses, and they will vary from person to person. There is no strength that is 'unique' to autistic people generally or collectively; each autistic person is an individual, as is every non autistic person. There is nothing wrong with being different, but 'difference' is not unique to autistic people, and autistic people are no less or more different to each other than NT people are to each other...

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People with AS have unique strengths. If you see things differently from others, that difference in perspective can also be useful by providing an unconventional approach to problem solving. There is nothing wrong with being different even if you have to try harder to gain social acceptance (and don't always succeed).

 

Those are wise words, Prof.

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Kathryn   

No they don't. People have strengths and weaknesses, and they will vary from person to person. There is no strength that is 'unique' to autistic people generally or collectively; each autistic person is an individual, as is every non autistic person. There is nothing wrong with being different, but 'difference' is not unique to autistic people, and autistic people are no less or more different to each other than NT people are to each other...

 

Well said.

 

K x

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hi i am new here and do not suffer with asd, but my brother does and possibly also my little boy. i just wanted to say that as someone who used to suffer from depression (actually it was so serious that i did try to take my life and self harmed a lot too) that if you are feeling so low you are actually thinking about being dead and the relief this would bring, then you must take this seriously enough to go talk to someone. if you just sit on these feelings then what will happen? ok it may just be a passing phase but to be honest it sounds like maybe it is more than that from the tone of your post. you could go see your gp? ask for counselling or even dare i say it anti-depressants? i know a lot of people are anti-drugs but they do save people's lives and they certainly saved mine. hope you find a good solution to your predicament and find a way to be self-accepting, as this is basically at the route of many depressions x

Edited by clairebear2k6

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Hi Again Baddad, I am not needy at all lol I live my life in solitude without much contact with people and just do my own thing because people only cause me problems or maybe i create problems from been with people either way it is a no win situation. I dont wish to project my feelings onto anyone else and i appreciate people who share their knowledge and experiences with me so i can develop from that.

 

Maybe it is not a unviersal feeling with aspeies but on the following website and others i have read it is listed as a symptom which means i cant be alone in feeling this

 

http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=simple%20aspergers%20symptoms%20wiki&source=web&cd=2&sqi=2&ved=0CCcQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fsimple.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FAsperger_syndrome&ei=lqvKTvjABsSx8gPCo7hp&usg=AFQjCNGmju-T_IrSSjZj67WzdOgHm-bo5w

 

Maybe it is an illusion created in me but there is no prove that the feeling of belonging in this world is not also an illusion maybe they are paradoxal and complimentary. maybe to belong in a place you have to realise what seperation is like.

 

Hello Bid and thank you for your empathy but i am happy with my life too. I just dont feel like i belong here is all :)

 

To be honest i dont really volunteer i ve never got the time as i have 2 jobs and i study to and ontop f that if i dont study the things i feel passionate about in my spare time it only strengths the feeling of not belonging so i try to do that as much as possible however if anybody asks me for help i will mmore than willingly give it. I think last term i helped 6 people with essays and each of them got good marks on that they would have found harder if i never assisted them because they asked for help. So its not that i am not look outwardly its just that i see nothing nice when i look out and the things i find pleasant i try to keep in my life as much as possible friendships that are not constrived , friends that offer comradery rather than just beeen by my side and then leaving when that rain cloud passes over

 

Hey tally and your right and its not that i dont value my life its just that i dont want or feel i belong here.

 

Haha how do you think that a person that can relate to the smiths needs to seek help haha :D

 

Thanks Prof that helped :D

 

True baddad that difference is wide spread but difference varies on different degrees and yes NT people are just as much different than themselves than us but they have a lesser degree of difference between each other and although the interests and similarities of aspies vary greatly too they can relate to each other more because of that whilst as NT's have a harder time at understanding aspies because they have a lesser degree of difference and have a different set of norms , if i made sense there.

 

Thank you clarebear :) I am sorry to hear tht you have had an unplesant time and i hope things get better for you if they havent already. I understand that you are right and it is time to seek help but too which help i seek depends maybe its not medical maybe its just something theraputic i need like finding a life that i feel happy with, finding a partner i am satisfied to be with. A career that fufills my expectations. Thank you for the advice and i will hold it in contemplation. best regards. X

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hey fourth. thanks yeah i'm absolutely fine now and have been for the last five years. i agree that having things right in your life can be very helpful and even therapeutic, as you say, but, if the reason you are feeling like you are is caused chemically then you can only solve that with meds (in my experience - i think those who have gotten out of it without meds did not have true true depression, just my opinion). the whole point of being depressed is that your brain doesn't make enough serotonin. but it is a complex 'disease' like all these 'problems', and it is not straightforward defining true depression or the best treatment. i do hope you find you path through this bad time the best way for you x

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In relation to your poll - I think its probably all of those things to one degree or another - It also made me laugh that you didn't put AS in the list :P

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Hey Clarebear, Is it typical for depression and/or for people without depression to go through waves of manic and mania like one time i might be sad and the next happy all in a short space of time but some that prevail for longer than others, i use to wonder if it was bi-polar because my mam showed symptoms of bi-polar but my mood swings are that drastic to be identified as bi-polar :D X

 

Hey Darkshine, I think your right it is most likely to be caused by each a majority of factors. I never put AS on lol because AS is a label and not a factor lol. physiological causes, nurture and social acceptance could all be factors that cause AS but they also cause many other things :robbie:>:D<<'>

 

hugs x

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hey fourth

 

to answer your question, i think depression can be as individual as something like ASD. how a lack of serotonin might express itself in me might be completely different to how it expresses in you or another. my experience was that i had mood swings, sometimes rapidly changing (as in cyclothymia) sometimes longer periods between, typically with the depressive episode being much much longer than the manic ones ever were. sometimes i think about chemistry and all the millions of substances that float around our brains and bodies, and how the levels of one influence the levels of others - how some cannot be made without others being present and so on. the fact is that explaining depression as solely the result of too little serotonin is likely to only simplify and unexplain what must be a very complex disease/condition. i'm sure that me taking my meds has changed more than just my serotonin levels. so many other things like reaction to food sensitivity (couldn't tolerate wheat or dairy well before, but can now) hormonal changes like cycle regularity ? PMT symptoms, how I used to get the shakes for no reason but never do now. this is all tied together. even psychosis isn't directly linked to serotonin, but not once have i bee psychotic since on the meds. it's really interesting. i'm convinced actually that SSRIs may have a beneficial effect on many problems of the human mind and body that it is not currently prescribed for. but hey that is just a theory.

the best thing you can do is track your mood changes in a mood diary for a few weeks or months if you can. then review it and show it to your gp or relevant med person. x

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I used to go through waves of manic-ness or mania :P It used to be my happy time (in my own way) but then other people looked on it as highly disturbing so I took tablets and learnt to force myself to not do it in front of people - it took a long time and I can't always not do certain things :(

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I thought the title of this thread was a line from 'You Can Call Me Al'. Turns out it's actually 'a street in a strange world'.

Edited by Aeolienne

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cmuir   

Hi

 

I'm NT and so don't know what it's like to have/live with AS (though I'm mum to a 10 year old). I think a valid point is that we all feel insecure at times and I also think it's true to say that we can all go through spells where we feel quite down or depressed even. That can result in feeling utterly disillusioned with everything/life. I've found that sometimes it's best not to over-analyse something, e.g. I always wanted to understand my son's behaviour and tried very hard to do so. However, I reached the realisation that there are some things that one cannot apply logic to because everyone is different.

 

Caroline.

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I like putting that song with - the joker, and abracadabra :P

As in the Steve Miller Band?

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bid   

Hi

 

I'm NT and so don't know what it's like to have/live with AS (though I'm mum to a 10 year old). I think a valid point is that we all feel insecure at times and I also think it's true to say that we can all go through spells where we feel quite down or depressed even. That can result in feeling utterly disillusioned with everything/life. I've found that sometimes it's best not to over-analyse something, e.g. I always wanted to understand my son's behaviour and tried very hard to do so. However, I reached the realisation that there are some things that one cannot apply logic to because everyone is different.

 

Caroline.

I think you are absolutely right! My DH often reads things posted on here, and asks why anyone thinks 'NT' people breeze through life with never a care or concern :wacko:

 

Bid :)

Edited by bid

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I feel like a stranger in a strange world, like I don't belong... but I don't think this is purely to do with over-analysis - sometimes I can't help it, but also, some times when I ignore things, I start getting really wound up and then I find the analysis helpful in working through things. I think it comes from not understanding things and wanting to understand more... sometimes thinking deeper about things has increased my understanding and this has often resulted in a more positive way of dealing with things, but on certain things I'm just stuck.

 

As for logic - as much as I love it - it definitely doesn't explain everything ;)

 

I'm almost completely disillusioned with everything/life - but I'd have to say that quick/momentary events, experience, personal opinion/difficulties, and key events have all had their fair share in making things worse, whether I analysed them or not.

 

Plus when its just this overwhelming feeling, so certain it feels like concrete fact, its very hard to shift, so many things feel wrong - I don't have to think about it because I can feel it - and that's when I think analysis can help, to try to understand what's going on, why thoughts and feelings are so resolutely in agreement, why I feel/think that way. I hope that by debating it, I can see where I am going wrong, and why my belief systems are so out of sync with most other people's.

 

Its so annoying that I can't change this aspect of myself and this massive gap between what I think, and what I'd like to think.

 

I think I kinda know where FD was coming from though, I kinda understand the feeling, even if its slightly different for me, but its hard to fully explain, it just makes sense, I don't know why I can understand this when things that should make sense in the world do not, its like my brain is programmed to understand mental and emotional pain or something - but even so, people who have passed through my life seem to have benefited from my understanding of their anguish about whatever was bothering them, so I guess that's the positive spin :D doesn't help me much though :(

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