Boredom

[shas]

Do any of you get so bored, I have tried so many hobbies to no avail, i soon get fed up with them. I do not get fed up with factual tv programmes, strange but true. I have even tried going for walks, but what is the point for there is not reason to just walk.

[LancsLad]

I have heard the saying that boring people become bored easily I am not sure if this is true in every case, At times I can get bored very easily. I am also very concious about saying what I feel are the reasons as it might come across as arrogant but I find a lot of life frustrating because it is not at my level. I think the boredom comes about due to a lack of interactivity with others at this level. If you find you can concentrate on some things and not others I would suggest that the issue might be with the focus of your attention.

 

I too love aquiring new knowledge and anything factual is of real interest to me. I suspect unlike the average NT a very large percentage of this knowledge sticks in my brain if I make a concious effort to place it in a good part of my brain by making real conections with other bits of information that relate to it. The result is I can have quite a broad perspecitve on a wide range of issues. I find at a thinking level a lot of life is like cruising around in first or second gear. If I want to move up the gears I find I have to have conversations with myself and set myself tasks to work through.

 

In some ways I am fortunate that my personality / natural skillsset is directed towards designing and creative fields. This is good because it is an open ended area. The problems I experience is an inability at times to structure my ideas into conventional thinking which means I tend to surprise other professionals with what I produce and often they don't know what to make of it. In this respect I would find working in a conventional design office very limiting and boring and as such very frustrating. If I do get bored I simply spend some time working on my current projects which are all at my level.

 

If I do anything in my life it has to be at a pretty serious level or I feel it is potentially a waste of time. I was clinically obese two years ago and very unfit, my solution is to try and qualify for the World Ironman Championships real black and white positions. A lot of my life is a bit like this with very little in the way of grey areas in between. it might be the case Shas that you need to have a good understanding of your potential and then pick hobbies which match this if you believe it is not a case of lack of concentration or an ability to consistently work at something, just a thought.

[trekster]

Being easily bored can be a sign of inattentive ADHD or depression.

[Mumble]

Have you tried giving yourself a project rather than thinking in terms of hobbies? That way you have a definitive endpoint / goal but can also extend things as far as you wish. You could also ensure that the endpoint has a specific use, either as something nice for you or as something you intend to give to someone, so that you have the impetus to continue. It could be a project that requires skills you don't have so you could research those, either online or talking to others. I've found that this approach works well for me, and when I have aproject I try and devote a specific amount of time to it so I don't spend all my time working/studying (which used to be a problem).

 

I love walking just for the quiet space to think, but perhaps you could combine it with listening to podcasts on something new you are interested in - you can get lots of free ones online. Or maybe you could try photography when walking so you're always looking out for different interesting shots?

[trekster]

Thats a very good idea, with stamp collecting and stitchingi can work on a certain kit or area of my collecting.

[shas]

Thanks for that folks, a lot to think about.

[darkshine]

I get totally bored...... A LOT!!! Sure there are things I have interest in but not how some people are where they are consistent or even constant interests...

 

And what makes this boredom worse is that I notice every second that I'm not doing something - which is actually what makes me bored - and when I feel like that there's very little I want to do anyway - so its like "yes I'm bored but I don't want to actually do things" - Especially things people suggest that just seem so mundane and boring - and finding interests isn't as easy as it sounds for various reasons....

 

I also think my boredom is part of a lack of direction in my life at times too - which leads to frustration and sometimes boredom

 

(this is of course ignoring depression or lack of attention/concentration)

[trekster]

i thought being unmotivated with a lack of direction was a type of depression? low motivational depression.

[LancsLad]

A few thoughts in respect to boredom and depression.

 

I agree with the comments that when we are depressed we find it difficult to think of things to do at times and that this could be described as boredom.

 

As someone with AS in my life I know I need routine and structure, might not like it at times, but I need it. As someone who also suffers from cycles of depression which can be pretty low trying to create structure in these periods is very difficult.

 

I have found there are two critical areas which I have needed to work on. The first is self monitoring my mental well-being on a daily basis the second is routine and planning.

 

I personally use a ladder scale of 1 to 10 to monitor my mental health. With many years experience behind me of doing this I have made the decision to stop medication and would rather be fully in control of my thinking and feelings in this area and take responsibility for supporting my own mental state. In using a ladder scale my advice would be that generally when you feel really down then this should be at level 3. I suspect for a lot of people this is as low as they go. From my personal experience there are two more levels below this the lowest being a very calm and quiet place where there is only one line of thought and that is a very thought out and rational suicide plan. In this state my experience is the best place for me is a secure mental health unit on 24hr watch. I say this because I need to understand each rung of the ladder as a very distinctive place with its own associated behaviours. The whole of the bottom half of my ladder is in a depressed zone though each rung is different. For me level 6 is when I am clear of my depression but can still become easily exhausted due to AS through daily activities. In a similar way the top of my ladder is rarely visited, I could count on two hands the level 9 periods in my life and know the only level 10 was when my son was born as I have never ever felt like that before or since.

 

In my own experience I always move down the ladder rung by rung and I come out of depression the same way. Sometimes this can happen very quickly but the signs and the transitions in behaviour are always there if I look for them.

 

The second area I need to work on is routine. As someone with AS I know I need routine in my life if I am to function well, I don't always like this fact but it is a truth. The time to build routine is not when I am depressed rather it is far easier when things are going well. Routines exist around things such as getting up and going to bed, eating, hygeine, daily activities like e-mails and forums, through to a lot of my triathlon training schedule. If I am on a work project then some of this will be put into routines for example an hours work in the morning and the same in the afternoon. The more we follow routines the better we get at it and the easier it becomes. At times I run a daily time sheet which is split up by the hour and write down what I have done in each period, I am sure this could be done as a check sheet.

 

In trying to have a productive life but at the same time fully recognising some of the difficulties I can have with AS and depression, the secret for me is the combination of these two areas on a daily basis. When my mental state is dropping down the ladder I find that routine structures are the glue which holds things together and acts as a brake on the process, they are also the rope to pull against when climbing up. I can also draw on previous experience and as such have expectations which are positive in outlook. One example might be my triathlon training sessions. Swim traing for me at the pool is always difficult, people interaction, strong smells and lights, sharring swim lanes all against a background of developing fatigue due to the session. On the 6th run of my ladder I can cope reasonably comfortable with a session. At level 5 I can deal with two afternoons in the week when it is quiet and reasonably easy to predict who will be there. At level 4 I can only swim last thing at night between 8:30 and 10:00 when the pool goes from being quiet to tatally empty. If I am faced with a training session and none of these are possible for example Monday morning I will run instead, if my mental state goes down to level 3 then I will substitute this to a quiet session on my indoor bike trainer with very quiet mucic on my MP3 player, all the curtains drawn and the room blacked out but I will have got something in on my routine.

 

I have to take the same approach in my professional life when undertaking design projects. Here it is important that I split up tasks with an understanding of what can be achieved at each level. At the lower end of the scale I can still tidy up sheets, check spellings, rename computer files, number pages, make copies etc... when my mental state is at level 4 and 3. When I am in a better place than this these tasks are left to the end of projects because I want to hold them back in case. By doing this I will still have an hours or so's work to do each day. I does not concern me that this might on a good day take 10 minutes rather I see my depression as part of me and I have done myself a favour in saving 10 minutes which might result in a really good creative idea on a good day.

 

In my leisure time I like to play on computer games such as World of Warcraft and currently Skyrim. I like these games because there are lots of routine daily tasks which can be done namely developing trade skills. Again when I am at level three I might have an hour of leisure time and so will go and upgrade my fishing skill on WofW. In a good mental state this is the most boring of repetitive tasks but at times I am happy to do so even setting targets such as colouring in a square on a sheet of graph paper every time I might do something simple in the game.

 

To round things up what I think is a very big mistake and this can happen when there are no routines in place is dragging myself down the mental ladder through inappropriate behaviour. Such inappropriate behaviour might be curling up naked under my duvet for a few hours. This is a good response for me when at my level 2 and I am getting out of control emotionally and in a bit of a blind panic and self harm is the main issue on my mind. I know I need to let emotions calm down and I can often simply go into sleep exhausted by the situation. Being under the duvet for any prolonged time when at levels 4 or 5 is simply not appropriate and doing so often gives me way too much thinking time to start feeling sorry for myself. In these states getting through my daily routine should be my main concern and matching tasks at this level is important. In this way I can think hey you are not feeling your best mate but you still got out and manged a 2hr run today. At a lower level 3 state it is often the case that as the day progresses things get harder as I wait for my son and partner to come home in these places I think it is important that we might have something of interest recorded ready on the TV for these moments, a book we are reading, a computer game to work on etc..... I think the problems start when we simply live without structure in the moment at better emotional levels and when we drop it is like a double edged sword, we have the depression to cope with and at the same time are unable to create activities and routine and hence call it boredom. As I have got older I have become far more self aware and this is why I have been able to make progress by taking a pragmatic response. I still have depressive issues, and at times I can also be bored but I am aware and try to manage the situation as best I can. Importantly I don't get a downer on myself as I know deep down I really do try my best and am honest about my issues. Hope this might help a little, just some ideas.

[darkshine]

i thought being unmotivated with a lack of direction was a type of depression? low motivational depression.

 

Very occasionally in life I have come across people who seem truly happy and contented, they have no direction because they have found what they are looking for and are happy with where they are in life, and they didn't need great motivation because they knew there was plenty of time to get things done.

 

Of course this doesn't mean they sat around all day and did nothing or went nowhere, but it just means that not everyone who has little motivation or direction is depressed or temporarily psychologically impaired - I don't think it has to be an all-or-nothing scenario

 

As for me and boredom - yes I struggle greatly with depression (amongst other things) but even before that ever happened, I have always been restless, always struggled to focus my mind (unless I'm obsessed with something), always saw so many things that people do to be pointless - I don't want to just do anything to pass time, I want to do things that are incredible, or special, something that's worthwhile or useful - even if its only me that thinks those things

 

But then I understand myself in that respect, and even on the days when I could scream because I'm so bored, and especially days I'm indecisive (which really doesn't help) - I understand why I get like that - I also understand that there are many tasks that I'm not great at, and because I can't produce masterpieces or works of great importance I can't be bothered to even try (yep, I'm a perfectionist too - I fail at that a lot). On top of all that I'm a control freak in some respects, so if there's other people around me when I'm that bored, I'll usually annoy them because its easier to project the blame and frustration - fortunately these people understand and forgive me for that, since it doesn't happen too often any more...

 

Its taken me a long time to learn, and its taken just as long to admit but I think understanding all this makes it easier to cope with such boredom when it happens.