Feeling insecure

[RYOUNG78]

Feeling insecure at present but not sure why. Does anybody have any advice on how to deal with this?

[LancsLad]

I know that as someone with AS the conections I make between my emotional states and logical thinking can often be disconcted. A lot of the time I am pretty emotionless as an individual, when I do get emotions it can be a bit disconcerting if I can not imediatly understand why.

 

My advice would be do not try to supress this feeling as there might be a reason for feeling this way and we should welcome living more emotional lives even if these are often negative, it what makes us human after all. There might not be an obvious reason as to why you feel this way and it may come to you given time. I often think I have very complex thinking patterns and the big picture needs to work its way through all of this brain matter and this can take a bit of time, it might be the case that the emotions have come out first the reason second.

 

I would simply keep the feeling on hold and see where it goes, it might just disipate. it could be your tired might be starting with a bit of a bug and the symptoms have not come out yet, hope not, and your body is telling you subtly to have an easy weekend and save a bit of energy, only time will tell.

 

My final point and this is not meant to offend anyone is as a species us males are supposed to be the hunters and as such should be aware of potential danger at all times as such insecurity is a trait which would serve us well in past times. Women in contrast are grazers and hoarders and are there to have offspring and as such need to maximise their chances of bearing young and so tension might not be a good trait rather a relaxed state is more productive. Many would argue that men are far more insecure than women and I would agree and that there must be a reason for this. It might be a case of we have developed as a species at a rate far quicker than we can adapt to and are simply carrying a trait which might not be appropriate but we have been unable to completely remove from our make up. If this is the case have a look outside your window can you see a sabre tooth tiger strolling around if so congratulate yourself on your fine instinct and run like hell. If not maybee we are just hot wired that way and as such have to accept as blokes we feel insecure a lot of the time and women make fun of us for it. Just a theory.

[A-S warrior]

insecurity effects us all, when im feeling insecure i usually draw into my family for support, or talk to a good friend. we all need that much needed reasurance sometimes.

[oxgirl]

insecurity effects us all, when im feeling insecure i usually draw into my family for support, or talk to a good friend. we all need that much needed reasurance sometimes.

 

Trouble is, some of us don't have good friends. I, for one, don't have ANY friends, let alone good ones.

 

~ Mel ~

[LancsLad]

Mel I think this is a problem when it comes to emotions for loners such as me, and by the way I like being a loner. In any other area I can have a conversation with my best mate, me, and I can work things through reasonably quickly.

 

When it comes to something around emotional feelings the converstaion is more of a case of "what do you think, not sure, what do you, no you go first, well, well what, not sure really" etc.... eventually I might get to "it could kind of be but I am not too sure" then I have something to work with.

 

In such situations I find time is needed more than anything and so I tend to cut myself a bit of slack in what I have planed to do, and try to do nothing really untill something starts to surface. A good example is when I might start to feel upset I tend to find a safe place take time out to connect with the emotion and then the answers will come after a while.

 

A good example was this Christmas I had to get one of my dogs put down when she became ill quite sudenly on Christmas Eve, I knew i was a bit upset at the vets and got the family through it ok first time my 7 year old has experienced this, and my partner and him went to her mothers for New Year. I was asked did i want to change my plans and go with them instead I simply had a very quiet few days in which i allowed the emotions to develop. This went from being upset to deep sadness. After a few days I got out all the photos of our past dogs and all the puppy pictures as we bred Border Collies for a while and this dog was the last of that process along with her brother who I still have. I managed to get a lot of enjoyment out of looking through the photos and came of of the few days feling happy for the times I had with this dog. In contrast my partner simply threw herself into life at her mums and said that she was only uspset for a bit and after a few hours was fine and going to her mums was the best thing for her and my son.

 

I know I need time to understand these emotional things and that as a loner I tend to turn towards myself for answers in life, but this is not a bad thing. I was quite proud of my response over the loss of this important dog to me, and feel I went about things in a mature way. I am not saying my partner was wrong in her response but I believe i got a lot more out of this than she did. What I think I am saying is that friends can often get in the way and at times we are possibly best served by going with our own instinct and find meaning from within.

[Tanya52]

I take a vitamin B complex every spring and do lots of exercises: swimming, running, Pilates, cycling. You can bust your endorphins production by daily walking up to an hour.

[Tally]

Do you know what you are feeling insecure about? If you can work that out, you may be able to seek reassurance. It's never that simple though, and many of us have a lot of difficulty telling what our feelings are. Other than that, the tip to try exercise is a very good one for a general mood-booster.