dealing with change (my view on it)

[A-S warrior]

nothing is harder for an a-s suffer to cope with than change. and hopefully i can help some of you out there in dealing with change.

 

ok your all set in a nice comfortable routine and then wham! it all turns upside down.

 

how do i cope?

 

first of all change is good! without change we would still be eating twigs and berries in a wilderness somewere and starting fires with bits of wood and stones. as hard as it is to cope with and understand, change for an a-s suffer is actully your best friend. if i never changed i would still behave the same way i did when i was 10, being isolated, angry, throwing things in anger, not talking etc etc. i would probably be in prison by now.

 

reccently i went through a break up with the love of my life, and as hard as this was, it was clear she was not ment to be my wife, as much as we loved each other and as perfect as the relationship was from start to finish, it wasnt ment to be. my futre wife is out there somewere waiting for me (yes im one of those guys lol)

 

although this was a bad change for me i looked at it in another way, it brought me much closer to my familly, im helping pepole out and improving there lives i.e my fathers alchool problem, and im seeing my best friend again, who i havent seen since early 2002.

 

so my point is, change wether good or bad, it is going to happen. you have to adapt to change, i know this is hard but you have to embrace change to get the most in life. time stands still for no man, everything changes, the world, the universe, the galaxy, the stars, other planets, everything. nothing is exempt from change. and nothing lasts forever. not even earth.

 

you do have to try and not wallow in comfort zones, to cope in this life you have to move with the times. its hard enough for you because you have aspergers, so dont make it harder by not at least trying to challange yourself.

 

there maybe times were you dont want things to change and this applys to all pepole, and this maybe a loved one dying, losing a house, getting very ill, or going bankrupt. but my response to that is this,

 

a man is not measured by how he thrives during success, its how he bounces back from defeat that matters.

 

going through tough changes like these sculpt our personalitys and lifestyles. good can come out of everything.

 

change=challanges, challanges=development, development=wisdom. so change+challanges+development+wisdom= a very happy well devolped you, and a person ready for any change that may lie ahead.

 

how do you start? by at least saying to yourself, i want to change. its not easy as a-s suffers have alot of barriers up with this kind of thing. but when you feel yourself slipping into a comfort zone that you know is bad, quietly say to yourself, i want to change. take baby steps with it, but never give up.

 

its up to you now slick, i want to change,

 

do you?

Edited April 7, 2012 by A-S warrior

[A-S warrior]

i will add this is my brief intro, i will go more in depth with individuals. and talk with you all. i know everybody is different so this is my disclaimer.

[Special_talent123]

find my youtube dolphinwintermadness and look for the routine video, that is about change

[LancsLad]

AS-Warrior I think as individuals we all have varying capacities for change. Special I agree with the points made on your clip about routine and getting the balance right between the amounts of changes you can cope with before things become unbalanced.

 

In my life I have had to deal with an awfull lot of change and it does build character to an extent. I have been able to liquidate my bussiness on a Friday morning and loose £60,000 and still been able to front a school assembly in front of 600 kids in the afternoon before breaking up for a Christmas holiday on the same day. Sure these things develop character but we are not immune from the impacts of change.

 

In my teaching career I had real difficulties in adapting to change following my head and mentor having a heart attack and having to prematurely retire. The new head and I didn't get along at all and we had battles over a number of issues, within three months for the sake of my own health I felt I had no real option but to move on from what was a top job really through no fault of my own. In the transition period overseeing part of the build of a new school, tying up the loose ends in my existing job, dealing with a large number of children in our care and overseeing a regional cricket team I had coached to a very high position nationally I simply collapsed, my physical and mental health blew apart. The trigger was I am convinced a new head teacher in my school which de stabilised me and led to a massive domino effect.

 

The point i wasnt to make is we can all deal with change but all have our limits. When we go past that point the consequences can be disaterous, for me this involved trying to take my own life at the time. Often it doesn't take much to upset a very balanced situation. Nearly everyone around me thought of all the people they knew I was the last person they felt would ever have a breakdown, they saw me as partly invincible, I am telling you I am very deffinately not and nor is anyone else, we all have our limits and we would do well not to push them too hard.

[A-S warrior]

AS-Warrior I think as individuals we all have varying capacities for change. Special I agree with the points made on your clip about routine and getting the balance right between the amounts of changes you can cope with before things become unbalanced.

 

In my life I have had to deal with an awfull lot of change and it does build character to an extent. I have been able to liquidate my bussiness on a Friday morning and loose £60,000 and still been able to front a school assembly in front of 600 kids in the afternoon before breaking up for a Christmas holiday on the same day. Sure these things develop character but we are not immune from the impacts of change.

 

In my teaching career I had real difficulties in adapting to change following my head and mentor having a heart attack and having to prematurely retire. The new head and I didn't get along at all and we had battles over a number of issues, within three months for the sake of my own health I felt I had no real option but to move on from what was a top job really through no fault of my own. In the transition period overseeing part of the build of a new school, tying up the loose ends in my existing job, dealing with a large number of children in our care and overseeing a regional cricket team I had coached to a very high position nationally I simply collapsed, my physical and mental health blew apart. The trigger was I am convinced a new head teacher in my school which de stabilised me and led to a massive domino effect.

 

The point i wasnt to make is we can all deal with change but all have our limits. When we go past that point the consequences can be disaterous, for me this involved trying to take my own life at the time. Often it doesn't take much to upset a very balanced situation. Nearly everyone around me thought of all the people they knew I was the last person they felt would ever have a breakdown, they saw me as partly invincible, I am telling you I am very deffinately not and nor is anyone else, we all have our limits and we would do well not to push them too hard.

 

 

as always a good in depth post, im gainimg alot of respect for you, espeshilly with the amount you,ve done in your life, even with your a-s.

Edited April 7, 2012 by A-S warrior

[A-S warrior]

find my youtube dolphinwintermadness and look for the routine video, that is about change

 

 

could you post that up? i think it would go well with the topic.

[Special_talent123]

i noticed your subscriber, so i have actually made more videos.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxl_7JOnlQs