i Think i have asperges and nobody will listen

[lukeyluke]

ok im 15 and i have ADHD....so im always hyper and have a lot of anger ...anyway my mum has been telling me of and shoutinng at me for certin things all my life..also school iv nearly been kicked out before..BUT IV TRYED to tell my mum iv got asperges and school but they want listen...do u think i have it..ok this is what i do and my views and personaly how i see the world......please somonne tell me what u think or can relate to and wat i should do..ok... i like to have my routine planned out in my head and then do it over and over......if somone of "somthing gets in the way of it it ###### me of and iritates me that i will moan and moan for ages and somtimes kick of.. a few examples.. i like to stay in bed an extra 5 mins before gettin up for school this gives me time to think plan out what im going to do annd buy from the shop before im even able to stand up....i like to stretch and day dream also in those extra 5 mins ...anway way my brother who is 26 is going on holiday...for 5 months...so he wanted to see me...while im doing my thing in bed after my mum shouted me to get up he comes in opens the door...and sits onn my bed i started to shout and i moand and hid under the quilt as he wanted to see me cuz hes going away.. this made me uncomfortable ...and ruind my morning...the following hour getting redy i said im not going to miss him..i was shouted at and told to stop beein silly..but im not i dont feel emotion like that im not going to hug him good by or say have a good time these things make me uncomfartable and irritated and feel "gay".....as i planned out the night before i was going to get a milkshake on the way two school ..the next day..the same day when i was woken up i started making noised and slapping my desk becuz i had nno dinner money so i cud not get a milskhake this ruin myy day and made me pissed of...if i hear of a new pot noodle or a new flavour of lucozade or somthing i haven to get it...read the lable ..and packet..and before i eat it or drink it i have to have a shower and watch a movie while having it..if i cant it puts me in a morngey mood...i hate channge it makes me panic ..my mum changed my bed and i started to panic and cry (at 15 years old) ......i hate LITRALY hate people who say Hi like americanns(im from UK) and people who do a high five and smile when they do somthing good ..it makes me uncomfartble and iriitated and hate towards them along with certin words... i also get iritated when i am going somwere and theres a really happy family and they are going for a picinic and theyy always have posh names like timmyy and gregory ..annd have posh voices .i label these people BACKPACK FAMILYS. they iritate me becouse knowone is that happy and it just makes me feel uncomfortable...i always speak my mind.....and i somtimes just become obsesed with a hobby and have to get everything required for it.....im obsessed with poping spots...when i walk somwere or in a car i dont just see a lamp post or a tree i always see small bits of information and if i see a bird in tree i think things like: were did that bird comfrom..i wonnder if its seen me before ..or little things amaze me like a new brand of toothpaste has come out i have to read the packet and stuff....or ill se a lampost annd think i wonder who made it..i wonnder how the persons day was when he was building it..i wonder how old i was ..i wonder if its older thann me..if i saysomthing i alwayys do it i dont say things then go against what i say..somtimes a persons nose wil anoy me and i feel like i want to slap it ...i always get told of for stearing into space at school...i love sience..but not at school i have to be in the mood for it and it has to be my choice if not im not bothered and will be reluctannt to work...my mum said to me i can have a new ww2 aircraft model to build on the weekend(as thats my new obsesion) i ennded up not getting it and i fliped out and said if it happenns again im moving out into a tent and livinng near the local farm like humans are supposed to live..my mum said shut up u silly boy you live in a fantasy world..the problem is if it does hapen again i will do it i dont hesitate i will just do it...i somtimes just come home and lay in the kitchen and stear at the fridge wondering and planning my next move and why i should do it...i have a terrible annger is provoked....i was sat in siennce today..and i was called for a detention...after school...i had plans on walkinn home with my friend who is also ADHD AND diagnosed with aspergers ..and go to the shop get a milkshake and do this letter that im dooing now..i walkked of from the detenntion becouse i was not told..if i was told i wud have stayed...it got in the way of my plan....in was in maths annd these geeky people were alwyayys talking about stupid pointless ######..lieng about drinkinng and stuff ..i had to corect them and i said if i could i would slit ur throat im sick of you in my lesson ..i lirally meen what i say...i never do maths work as i think its poinntless and boring i will not do it... ever..im always thinkinng i hate big social situations like been taken to a french teacher..ACTUALY FRENCHA and my teacher put me on the spot and i had to speak french to here..this mad me panic and i was plannninng to run home....i like little things in there own places if there moved it irritates me.....a year ago i had a obsession with energyy drink cans that were colourfull and looked cool so i collected them and had 212 my mym said she was going ti chuck them awayy i was furios as i was atctched to them ..i alway think everyything is a memory if it is chucked away it anoys me...i talk to my self and always make noises and somtimes copy what people do on films or try annd be them in the film while im watching it actor might touch his head cuz hes been shot so ill do it..?? do i have asperges theres a lot more to it but my mum is home and i feel uncomfaryble typing this when shes inn..i also make noises in the mirror and stuff

[JeanneA]

Hi Luke welcome to the forum. I hope others will reply to you who have knowledge of asperges or who's children are diagnosed with it. My son Glen, 18 is ASD with severe learning, behavioural and social difficulties. He is not able to communicate like you obviously are, so I never know what he is thinking, but I do know by what you have written there are some similarities between you and my son.

 

Glen has to have a strict routine, and if his routine changes for any reason he would get extremely upset and become very aggressive, he is very OCD.

 

By what you have wrote, it seems your Mum doesn't appear to show understanding of how you are feeling and doesn't seem to think that you may have asperges, I am surprised she isn't listening to you and I do feel for you very much. However, how about sitting down and try to talk to her calmly when it is just the two of you and tell her exactly how you are feeling and that you think you may have asperges? The next step would be to go and have a chat with your GP, is that something you would be willing to do? If you feel unable to sit there and tell him how you feel you could always write it down just like you have on here and he could then read it. It's just a thought.

 

You said your friend who has ADHD also has asperges, have you tried talking to him about how you feel? Also I know you said the school wouldn't listen but why not go to the head teacher and try again to explain how you are feeling or write it down just like I said about the GP.

 

I am sorry that I cannot help you any further as I cannot unfortunately tell you if you are asperges or not but you do need to find out because if you are you could be missing out on support/advice that you need to help you for the future. Please keep us updated as to what you decide to do.

[LancsLad]

Hi Luke,

 

The first point I want to make is that is a very forthright and open post and whilst I can see a lot of anger and frustration in there I can also see a lot of self reflection for someone of your age and I think this demonstrates you are really trying to work things out in your own life and you have my respect for that.

 

There are a number of things which went through my mind when I saw what you have wrote. The first thing is that Asperger's is a developmental condition and is lifelong. Current thinking is that there is no cure for it and as a result as sonmeone with a diagnosis for Aspergers what I have to do is deal with a lot of symptoms on a daily basis and work out strategies which make my life easier and importantly productive. Because of these facts in many ways having a label attatched to you at one level makes no real difference, its how you deal with what thast label represents which is the crucial thing.

 

I suspect reading your post trying to get your parents to support you in trying to find out more about the condition and possibly a diagnosis might not be a viable option. I recieved my diagnosis at 44 and my parents are in complete denial about it, just how it is some times. You are not far off being 16 and that opens up a lot of possibilities for you which you could pursue and the starting point would be your GP.

 

One reason many parents pursue a diagnosis for Asperger's at an earlier age than you are is that it can open up doors and give their children access to support at school. I think a big element for yourself is what are you intending to do in respect to education in the next few years? Get out at the first opportunity, go to an FE college, stay on in your schools sixth form? Because you already have an ADHD diagnosis you have in effect something to use in these situations anyway. If you decide to stay on in some form of education you may simply want to bring in the idea of Asperger's as a possibility when talking to relevant people its not as if you are going to get one to one support at your age, rather simply make people aware of what strategies might be best suited to yourself nor will an Aspberger's diagnosis bring any more funding, for example I got disabled students allowance at university because of mental health labels I was carrying, when I got an AS diagnosis this did not go up. My point here is that getting a diagnosis might not really make much of a difference in your life, though I can understand that some people want to know.

 

Luke my gut reaction is that teenage years can be really difficult as we have a lot on our plate. As someone with Asperger's but didn't know it at the time would the knowledge have made any difference to me, I honestly don't think so. I know at your age I suffered with depression, self harm issues and was suicidal at times. I had to learn about how to deal with those issues and to be strong in my own life. I kind of knew people didn't understand what it was like to be me so rather than spend loads of time and energy concerned about everyone else, parents, people at school, I simply got on with it and became tough and resilient. Looking back the one mistake I did make is that I never had the confidence to go and see my GP on my own and explain how low I felt at times. For some daft reason I felt he would simply grass me up to my parents, he looked like that sort of GP. If I was you I would start to build up a good relationship with your GP. When you turn 16 there will be more options open to you in life and they will be an important ally if you feel the desire to pursue a diagnostic process.

 

Do I think you have AS or not, not a clue, sorry. You simply can't tell from what someone might say on a forum. The more you meet people with AS the more you realise that they are all very different but at the same time there are recurent traits in there. Getting a diagnosis is about collecting evidence, answering questionaires and then having a meeting with a trainned assesor who will make a judgement. Beyond that you have to work out what the answers might mean to you.

 

Growing to be a mature adult is about figuring out who we really are, what are our strengths and what are our weaknesses. Its about understanding our own personality and how we work. There are lots of grown ups out there who never really manage this task. My own opinion is I think reading your post you have a good chance, but it will not be easy Luke. I expect this is simply a little snapshot of the complex individual you are. Sometimes complexity can create its own problems and issues which need solving. But I know one thing I would rather be complex and interesting than simple and boring any day. What I would say is don't go around shitting on other people. I know this is not easy at times but self respect is so important and by letting your frustration spill out you are giving away a bit of that self respect. There will come a point in your life when you look back and will say to yourself I had a lot of obstacles to overcome, things like ADHD and possibly Asperger's but I managed to achieve some pretty good things, and importantly 'I did it the right way'. When we are kids we do lash out a lot at the world I did and could be pretty violent at times. There was a point where I realised that real men and women didn't do the things I did, rather they could control themselves, When i started to take responsibility for myself it showed i was taking the first steps to being a man, I would advise you to do so as well.

 

Not sure if this helps, don't have a downer on yourself over this, you are nearrly an adult and I think that as an adult finding out about diagnosis for things such as Asperger's are best done at the right time when you have space in your life to deal with the conseqences. If you have the condition its not going away so there is no real rush if the outcome is only going to lead to more frustration at present. In some ways our lives up to our early twenties are so full of stuff as we develop as individuals its a difficult time to segregate issues and behaviours anyway. I personally feel therefore that see how things pan out in your life up to this point if you can and see how you feel from a position where you will be that more mature, not saying you are immature at present but we have so much growth potential in us at your age still.

 

Just a few thought and best wishes.

[Aspiemumto1]

Hi Luke, im new on here too, my daughter is waiting for a diagnosis of Aspergers so I cant offer much help aboout whether or not you have it. It just touched me that you are struggling on your own through this. Is there someone may be at school, or your friend's mum (the one with ADHD and Aspergers) that you trust and could talk to, or maybe a counsellor at school. I think it is a good idea to write your concerns down like you did on here because you can never remember everything when you are trying to explain face to face.

 

Can you remember what you was like when you were younger? Was you the same as you are now with little obsessions, was you as angry, may be trying to put the little pieces together to make a bigger picture might help.

 

I hope you find someone who you can talk to and help you through all this. May be there is like a youth counselling service local to you that yoou may be able to talk to. Our local one is call The Lowdown and they are really good.

 

Take care and hope you find some answers.

[A-S warrior]

well we will listen luke, to me you sound classic a-s. i laughed when you mentioned the lamp post thing, not because it was funny but because i had a crazy obsession with lamp posts and street lights when i was a kid. and i am fasinated by things like new tooth pastes as well, i rember when colgate brought out this tooth paste that had glitter in it, and i was like ooooo! i have to buy it! i told everyone but no one cared. oh well at least i appricieate things more.

[A-S warrior]

oh and if your having a bad day, join me and darkshine in my longest topic attempt in the off topic forum, its a completely pointless topic, but we just try and out stupid each other really. good place to let off some steam.

[darkshine]

Hello

 

If nobody listens to you, gain info, find evidence, facts and concerns. Then use type it all into a document - make it easy and simple for people to read - then print and hand to your mum (the whole point of using a pc to write it is so you have instant copies should it get lost).

 

If she really won't listen you have the right to go to a doctor and ask for advice about this.

 

Or if you have any other people who support you at home or at school.

 

The NAS (national autistic society) has loads of pages on asperger's - here's a link to one section of the site (the page I've linked contains 5 pages of info) and there's also many other topics on the site.

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/what-is-asperger-syndrome.aspx

[lukeyluke]

thanks for replying ppl...my mum understands now..she alredy works with people with autisim...nut severe autisim...the ones that idiotic people refer to as (retards) ...but as i posted this topic and my mum came home she said guess what..i said what...she said we have a new lad at our center and he has aspergers and we had to learn about it..know she understands and cuts me a lil more slack....i always said as a chil that i wasent just adhd i always knew there was somthing more......nway..cheers

[lukeyluke]

ok im 15 and i have ADHD....so im always hyper and have a lot of anger ...anyway my mum has been telling me of and shoutinng at me for certin things all my life..also school iv nearly been kicked out before..BUT IV TRYED to tell my mum iv got asperges and school but they want listen...do u think i have it..ok this is what i do and my views and personaly how i see the world......please somonne tell me what u think or can relate to and wat i should do..ok... i like to have my routine planned out in my head and then do it over and over......if somone of "somthing gets in the way of it it ###### me of and iritates me that i will moan and moan for ages and somtimes kick of.. a few examples.. i like to stay in bed an extra 5 mins before gettin up for school this gives me time to think plan out what im going to do annd buy from the shop before im even able to stand up....i like to stretch and day dream also in those extra 5 mins ...anway way my brother who is 26 is going on holiday...for 5 months...so he wanted to see me...while im doing my thing in bed after my mum shouted me to get up he comes in opens the door...and sits onn my bed i started to shout and i moand and hid under the quilt as he wanted to see me cuz hes going away.. this made me uncomfortable ...and ruind my morning...the following hour getting redy i said im not going to miss him..i was shouted at and told to stop beein silly..but im not i dont feel emotion like that im not going to hug him good by or say have a good time these things make me uncomfartable and irritated and feel "gay".....as i planned out the night before i was going to get a milkshake on the way two school ..the next day..the same day when i was woken up i started making noised and slapping my desk becuz i had nno dinner money so i cud not get a milskhake this ruin myy day and made me pissed of...if i hear of a new pot noodle or a new flavour of lucozade or somthing i haven to get it...read the lable ..and packet..and before i eat it or drink it i have to have a shower and watch a movie while having it..if i cant it puts me in a morngey mood...i hate channge it makes me panic ..my mum changed my bed and i started to panic and cry (at 15 years old) ......i hate LITRALY hate people who say Hi like americanns(im from UK) and people who do a high five and smile when they do somthing good ..it makes me uncomfartble and iriitated and hate towards them along with certin words... i also get iritated when i am going somwere and theres a really happy family and they are going for a picinic and theyy always have posh names like timmyy and gregory ..annd have posh voices .i label these people BACKPACK FAMILYS. they iritate me becouse knowone is that happy and it just makes me feel uncomfortable...i always speak my mind.....and i somtimes just become obsesed with a hobby and have to get everything required for it.....im obsessed with poping spots...when i walk somwere or in a car i dont just see a lamp post or a tree i always see small bits of information and if i see a bird in tree i think things like: were did that bird comfrom..i wonnder if its seen me before ..or little things amaze me like a new brand of toothpaste has come out i have to read the packet and stuff....or ill se a lampost annd think i wonder who made it..i wonnder how the persons day was when he was building it..i wonder how old i was ..i wonder if its older thann me..if i saysomthing i alwayys do it i dont say things then go against what i say..somtimes a persons nose wil anoy me and i feel like i want to slap it ...i always get told of for stearing into space at school...i love sience..but not at school i have to be in the mood for it and it has to be my choice if not im not bothered and will be reluctannt to work...my mum said to me i can have a new ww2 aircraft model to build on the weekend(as thats my new obsesion) i ennded up not getting it and i fliped out and said if it happenns again im moving out into a tent and livinng near the local farm like humans are supposed to live..my mum said shut up u silly boy you live in a fantasy world..the problem is if it does hapen again i will do it i dont hesitate i will just do it...i somtimes just come home and lay in the kitchen and stear at the fridge wondering and planning my next move and why i should do it...i have a terrible annger is provoked....i was sat in siennce today..and i was called for a detention...after school...i had plans on walkinn home with my friend who is also ADHD AND diagnosed with aspergers ..and go to the shop get a milkshake and do this letter that im dooing now..i walkked of from the detenntion becouse i was not told..if i was told i wud have stayed...it got in the way of my plan....in was in maths annd these geeky people were alwyayys talking about stupid pointless ######..lieng about drinkinng and stuff ..i had to corect them and i said if i could i would slit ur throat im sick of you in my lesson ..i lirally meen what i say...i never do maths work as i think its poinntless and boring i will not do it... ever..im always thinkinng i hate big social situations like been taken to a french teacher..ACTUALY FRENCHA and my teacher put me on the spot and i had to speak french to here..this mad me panic and i was plannninng to run home....i like little things in there own places if there moved it irritates me.....a year ago i had a obsession with energyy drink cans that were colourfull and looked cool so i collected them and had 212 my mym said she was going ti chuck them awayy i was furios as i was atctched to them ..i alway think everyything is a memory if it is chucked away it anoys me...i talk to my self and always make noises and somtimes copy what people do on films or try annd be them in the film while im watching it actor might touch his head cuz hes been shot so ill do it..?? do i have asperges theres a lot more to it but my mum is home and i feel uncomfaryble typing this when shes inn..i also make noises in the mirror and stuff

life is anoying and repetative.... only the ones of higher inteligence break threw it. Luke O'connor

[JeanneA]

Hi Luke I am so pleased that your Mum is now more understanding of you since coming in contact with this new guy at the centre. I hope all goes well from now on and that you can talk to her about how you feel and she will listen to you. Keep us updated Luke :-)