depression doesnt fit! ;c

[smileyK]

i truly feel inside me that depression doesnt fit isnt a viable feeable option anymore to consider even though been officially diagnosed through CAMHS as that what shone through at time of processing diagnosis alot to digest & take in short space of time several weeks its a confusing and lonely time desperately sea missing answers that yiu been looking for for years!searching for! Emotions are everywhere all over the place shaky! I dont like to self diagnose but after long time eeaserching information now come to possible conclusion of having some type of mood disorder such as bi-polar or more likely in my personal opinion BPD which can just be seen put down as just plain depression on its own terms ! Grounds in its own right i went docs yesterday to explain this possible theory idea he now writing a letter to adult MHT to see if can further look into my case see if an possible misdiagnosis mistake has been made my jumping in too fast after intial diagnosis to diagnose depresssion there and then on top of AS and social anxiety disorder i know there is something much bigger going on behind the scene background it just finding out discovering exactly what that is! So many things add up to BPD though need to talk through emotions thoughts feelings emotional issues with someone who professional ! Specialises in this so they know what it could instead of guessing all time! So waiting for a letter through the post from adult MHT to see what they reckon from there appointment judgement the pysch i didnt get on with at all was horrid nasty doc told me reassured me has left hoorah finally! Some great news hates him bad ended up discharging myself because of him because of his unprofessional manner conduct not empathic or compassionate undersransing whatsoever ar all! Just mean miserable! I told doc i becoming anri depressant resistant after several weeks each time ive tried had them tried to persist but no good and cant carry on like i am! Switching yo yo moods swings all time doing my head in! Going mad crazy not good feeling not nice! Wrote down long list that gave doc explaining everything so had better clear picture understanding of what going on so long how i! Think this helped both me & doc expand more on questions & answers felt etc! With knowledge on BPD is it common feeling to feel pushed out angry hurt resentful jealous towards others especially a sibling???? Does anyone know? Be really useful helpful insight if you do! Hoping for re assessment into issues by adult MHT? Hoping they agree somethings wrong up! Not right at all for years now! Needs be sorted worked out!

[Special_talent123]

BPD - for personality disorder is whats the word used with DBT but the group would not of worked with me. I was reassessed as having emotional unstable traits as dont meet full criteria for BPD. However they cannot make a diagnosis by one appointment, the have to look into your mood so keep a record of your mood swings daily and they will ask background of your family life etc.

[Sa Skimrande]

It is sad that in this age of scientific method so many struggle to find reason for what distresses them and from experience the med profession are largely uncaring that is until someone does something that causes concern to others then they suddenly become interested and we see questions as to why was nothing done to stop this something happening, why were medics not interested.

 

So it falls upon those with these issues to act for themselves as I was forced to do and so I now understand my rapid mood swings and emotional instability have a reason and maybe it will be treated if I agree to the treatment as it will change me into something I don't like the sound of through communicating with others on that treatment, not all, but some if affects them in what appears to me a disagreeable way and I like me the way I am.

 

But it is a difficult route to take as the medical community will not like you for it for they hate Dr Google, I have been reliably informed, but if they are not acting then one must educate oneself.

 

I found my situation via researching Baron-Cohens theories on autism, a chance find which did not fit at first until I learned much of what is available to the public on the internet is out of date and I had earlier this year a worrying painful chest lump and I am a male so when I went to a female doctor about the lump I brought up my suspicion given criteria that agreed with the official external criteria and so the doctor at once agreed to start the testing process for me to be awarded with the confirmation my suspicions were not unfounded for I had diagnosed myself and that put paid to twenty years of worry and anguish where many doctors in the past had simply failed to diagnose, even when they had endocrine test results in front of them for I had asked for them before when my marriage was failing due to a lack of libido on my part.

 

Now as to your situation an idea might be to sit down and create a list for yourself and watch that list over a period of days even weeks and add and remove where necessary until you have a core set of major issues and then try and match what you have to what is known, but if you have something clearly diagnosed use that as a spring board to search around for it is known with certain conditions there are common co morbid others quite likely with a diagnosis, but depression is common with ASD as is anxiety and it was at one time I was suspected of having Bi-Polar 2 which can look like depression and that I understand can be identified via a simple blood test.

 

But there is something else many overlook and that is diet, what you are eating can affect your thoughts and feelings through blood sugar issues and there is plenty of evidence to suggest chemical additives in food are not entirely healthy as is the concoctions one puts on the skin where common additives in shampoo even have been linked to the raising of oestrogen levels which can influence moods as there are plenty of sources of sex hormones in food, cosmetics and the environment. Myself I do not imbibe chemical substitutes were it can be avoided, yes it costs more for chemical free but it is better on my conscience and hopefully not making matters worse than they should be.

 

Aside from diet is exercise are you getting enough fresh air and sunlight and time free from electromagnetic fields particular to every electrical device.

[smileyK]

im just so fed up of fighting battling with AS & as well as there opposite mood switches and changes making me so unhappy & miserable affecting everything round me my family life my job as feel cant concentrate so much going on feel overwhelming and ch need it sorted asap cant carry on like this impulsive dangerous scared afraid of whats happen dont know what to expect next and that isnt a pleasant feeling i have tried to work through it understand and identify myself but not working out making me feel worse more anxious stressed im so lost and confused within this situation feel out of my depth my comfort zone its very shaky unpredictable ground! not nice !

[Sa Skimrande]

I understand the anxiety and confusion you feel, I was that for many years myself before I was finally forced to engage my mind and work it out for myself as I had decided if I could not find out what this thing was that had caused decades of mental pain and anguish I did not want to live anymore and I was serious and so I did do that unholy of unholy things and sought to self diagnose because the medical profession were not not interested, beyond let's try these anti depressants.

 

In my case I was correct and that helped along by my approach to the medical profession, my GP was very impressed I had succeeded where his own kind had failed in the past. and oh there was resistance, I was told of that, an expensive test medics careful with their budjets wanted a history they could not see, not a request out of the blue from a non medical professional, but a history I did have, tests from the past they should be there but I later found out they were not as when my medical records were uploaded to IC those that did so neglected to upload past test results, it was as if my healthcare started with my current GP, I was furious and demanded to know how can anyone's health be monitored over time when they can't even be bothered to recognise the past and this band aid medical approach is not serving anyone let alone me, for I can only suspect what I am being made out to be so my GP insisted the tests be carried out because he had read my report complete with all harvard referencing of medical papers some of which my GP was surprised were available to the public, but I have a few contacts online.

 

And so I had my results proving my suspicions correct for I had found what was causing me the problems I had, but it wasn't easy to get those results, it took two requests by my GP and so I can only suspect why that was given the resistance I had experienced before for my GP did say, he suspects there are some red faces up there given what I had successfully done by matching my symptoms to a little known rare disorder most GP's are clueless of and still are where my latest GP to replace the helpful one that had moved on actually admitted they knew nothing of what my diagnosis entailed and had to look it up five minutes before my last appointment, where I had to tell them what the next step is in the treatment process as is outlined on the NHS website.

 

For I have discovered one thing that is true we should be looking after our own healthcare with help from those qualified as to leave it to them in entirety nothing will get done and it does make me wonder just how many are suffering needlessly because five minutes with a patient per appointment is simply not enough and worse if that patient cannot express themselves adequately as I was in the past with past attempts to find out what this was.

 

Where with the condition I have records suggest seventy five percent of men with it don't know they have it and given the pain and anguish I have described it makes me feel deeply for those in oblivion like I was and so that is another condition I raise awareness of in the relevant places and not for if I can help one person feel better about themselves, I will have succeeded in my aim.

 

But it is sadly true men's issues in the NHS are largely ignored and so we have to fight for ourselves, for with men the NHS is not as caring as it should be for I understand even the official NHS blog has identified what we come in for which is basically lack of care which results in unnecessary deaths of men through a medical profession that doesn't seem to care, but I understand it's all funding again ;

 

http://www.healthdirect.co.uk/2005/06/nhs-anti-male-bias-kills-2500-lives.html

 

And regards cancer, even Cancer Research UK has an anti male bias along with the NHS and the government funded Medical Research Council ;

 

http://www.healthdirect.co.uk/2005/11/anti-male-bias-in-battle-for-cancer.html

 

And so I have learned I have to be responsible for my own healthcare given what I know and so I say to you if you feel you are being ignored, research for yourself first in and around what firm diagnosis you already have and I know it is hard to detach from what pains you so much but you have to look at what you feel objectively that means cut through the emotion to the facts and see them for what they are and where they might be attached to something you feel might have been missed as one thing I have discovered well I did with my last GP was they like to talk on a level with those that are clued as talking down to people as though they were children does become tiring after time and in such scenarios where people rely wholly on them they can display variable performance, where as soon as they meet the clued interest is suddenly gained.

 

But for my success to understand what I was reading, I had to teach myself basic genetics and so now I have to teach myself an understanding of the complex endocrine system for the next stage in the process, my research almost consumed me but I did it and so now the mental component of the depression is I find lifting, it's lifting slowly, but each day the mind is clearer than the last and here is me now actually considering to start back with the fitness regime I used to do in the past twenty years prior for I have taken an interest in my physical and mental well being at last.

 

And so an aspie mind, you have the intelligence to research, go for it, find what eases your mind.

[smileyK]

so im suppose to go along self diagnosing??? I just know im reaching the edge breaking point giving up on life never thought this would be me at all! Feel so ashamed compare myself to everyone all time makes me so jealous!

[Special_talent123]

self diagnosing maybe diagnosing yourself wrongly but can be reassured if there is anything or u could go private but that is costly.

[Sa Skimrande]

so im suppose to go along self diagnosing??? I just know im reaching the edge breaking point giving up on life never thought this would be me at all! Feel so ashamed compare myself to everyone all time makes me so jealous!

 

Well, you have to look at it this way, if others aren't helping through whatever reason, it falls upon yourself to do something about it as one thing such action does, is focus the mind and in focusing the mind many ills do disappear until you are left with the core which is more manageable once you have scythed away the chaff.

 

And don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, it is fruitless as would it entertain you to understand most others are also comparing themselves to everyone else for it is true society is insecure and feeds of each other and so where negativities exist, society becomes negative and such things as jealousy arises which you have to agree it is a negative and destructive emotion.

 

I know me pretty well I have spent a long time working out my motives and I can be very negative I have on here and I have today and I do feel for those I may have offended, but as the day has passed by I have regained control as always it is with me at night my mind is at it's sharpest and so tonight to work off some bad feelings I stuck my headphones in and went for a power walk for an hour which did me a lot of good and after that I dived into one of my books; Yoga for mind and body and so, although not exactly practising at the moment I am doing the breathing and meditative exercises and feeling a whole lot better for it and my emotions have stabilised, I feel at ease with myself ready for sleep and the hope I am not as negative in the morning.

 

Sometimes we just have to help ourselves to help ourselves.

 

But failing that go to your doctor and say you can't cope and be truthful with it, mention you are struggling at work, that usually pokes them in the right direction, whereby you may be prescribed anti depressants which do work, they do take the edge off our troubles so we can calm down a bit and rest, where we may see the wood through the trees.

 

As to understand anxiety and depression is very common with ASD and so is treatable until we can work it out.

[smileyK]

feel like constantly in a fog i feel like constantly annoying frustrating my family my parents making them miserable fed up drained! ;c feel like im slipping into a losing battle all time! My dad mentioned getting a part time volunteer job to kill off edge of boredom i know the BHF are looking into volunteers as always following my parents for reassurance so got no them time dad they advertising on shop window feel such bad selfish daughter!ising

[smileyK]

dad asked me think about volunteering in a charity shop i thought about going into mind mental health charity and volunteering my time & energy/efforts there as done that b4 and loved going there helping b4 i started part time work at the nuersuery