I dislike people

[Noskcaj86]

I am sick of peoples attitude towards my son, they just think he's a naughty kid and that i cant control him. The looks we get drive me mad, the nasty comments we get are even worse! There is nothing i can do to stop them though. I am more use to it than i was at first, but i am frustrated at the lack of understanding people have of Autism and other invisible disabilities. Unless my son is flapping his hands or in his special needs buggly people dont seem to notice there is anything going on other than bad behaviour. people are so incredibly IGNORANT. So to the horrible woman who i over heard saying "what a horrible child" when Jack was having a meltdown in the super market a few weeks back... YOU are ignorant, keep your nasty thoughts to yourself... thank you!

[Lyndalou]

Try not to let it get to you. I know it's easier said than done sometimes but you need your strength to deal with the difficult situations those people are commenting on and Jack needs that too. The problem can be that is that it is so difficult to tell the difference between a child with autism in distress when they are overwhelmed or have sensory overload and a child having a screaming tantrum. YOU know the difference and that is the important thing. Maybe you could get hold of autism alert cards (I think this was mentioned before when you had an incident in the supermarket?) but unforunately for many people they will only be words on a bit of paper. Some people might get it but others will think it's just an excuse.

 

Have you spoken to a social worker yet about any help you could be entitled to? A bit of time out to step back from the day-to-day difficulties you have could make you more able to cope with people being nasty.

 

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[Willow-Tree]

Here are the cards: http://www.autism.org.uk/Products/Free-resources/Autism-Alert-Cards.aspx

 

We used to have something similar for my little brother. We also had a little sign that we stood up on our table at restaurants. Just a 'polite notice' type thing. Before we had, people would tut and roll their eyes and give my Mum dirty looks and even move tables to get away from us

[Noskcaj86]

Thanx both. I havent got the cards yet because hes not diagnosed so it feels wrong to say he had autism (even though its 99% probably he does) until hes diagnosed. We saw the social worker on the 4th and she was really helpful and totally understood everything we said about the problems we have with Jack. But she said she cant give us any further support until Jack is diagnosed! So frustrating, we cant go to the local support group until hes diagnosed either Grrrrrr! The social worker told us that as soon as he is diagnosed the doors will open and we will get much more support such as someone to take Jack out for a few hours once a week and support groups and self help classes etc.

[Lyndalou]

Roll on Jack getting a formal diagnosis (whatever it turns out to be)...hope you don't have to wait too long to have him properly assessed so these doors open for you

Edited February 7, 2013 by Lyndalou

[JeanneA]

As Lynda has said I hope you don't have to wait too long for the diagnosis, the sooner he's diagnosed the sooner you will get more help.

[Testing_Manners]

I am sick of peoples attitude towards my son, they just think he's a naughty kid and that i cant control him. The looks we get drive me mad, the nasty comments we get are even worse! There is nothing i can do to stop them though. I am more use to it than i was at first, but i am frustrated at the lack of understanding people have of Autism and other invisible disabilities. Unless my son is flapping his hands or in his special needs buggly people dont seem to notice there is anything going on other than bad behaviour. people are so incredibly IGNORANT. So to the horrible woman who i over heard saying "what a horrible child" when Jack was having a meltdown in the super market a few weeks back... YOU are ignorant, keep your nasty thoughts to yourself... thank you!

 

 

I am 19 years old. And I have to say that people are not nice and judgmental for those of us who have Aspergers. I went through phases where I got into trouble and the teachers just thought I wasn't behaving properly due to a lack of discipline.

 

My advice is try and go for the Homeopathic Treatment root. My mother started giving me prescribed one's and I am finding my traits to be a lot less frequent. It works in a subtle way - I am feeling less overwhelmed with my senses, having less breakdowns (Although they still happen sometimes like this morning I told my dad to 'Shut The F*** Up'.

 

Certain foods can definitely trigger it as well. My family and myself of course had a complete lack of knowledge on nutrition and how it effects the body when I was growing up. Try your best to keep him away from foods with unnatural properties or excess salts and sugars.

 

Another few main issues for when he's older as well. When he reaches the age when he is going to start Middle School or High School make sure you put him in a private school or if not that a school in an area where the majority of students are from upper middle class backgrounds.

 

Being Aspergers and going to both schools. I can say that kids from working class backgrounds are not understanding of our condition and many of them often tend to bully those with Aspergers or Aspergers traits. Being around people like this would take a huge toll on someone's self esteem (It did on mine)

 

And make them more anxious in social situations. Then comes that frustration period where they try hanging around with anyone who accepts them into their social group. This is often tear away kids who get into trouble with school and truancy laws and smoking fags when they are 12 years old.

 

They would threaten someone with Aspergers & manipulate them into compliance of the bad activities they get up to. Due to someone with Aspergers lack of confrontation (Except with their parents or siblings) - This may cause them to start acting up at home and being argumentative and aggressive at times.

 

This happened to me and many others with Aspergers - I went to a Private School when I was 15. And although things weren't great there. The kids were a lot less judgmental and there was no tear away types who would humiliate you.

 

Another problem for when he reaches his teens is the internet. Going on too much of the internet is bad for someone with Aspergers in my opinion. Things like social networking websites take a huge toll on someone with Aspergers self esteem & They may get too obsessed with it coinciding it with real life too much.

 

And if he ever has a sensory issue and complains that he cannot 'concentrate in the classroom' because of noises and sounds and teachers disregard your pleas for putting him in another room separately so he can concentrate - Please consider home schooling him for certain times at the week. I had this huge problem for years but now have recently started to study my English A Level at home and I am learning so much more.

 

I know I went a bit off topic here. But as a guy with Aspergers who has always gone through people being misunderstanding - I would hate it to happen to anyone else. Take my advice into consideration - Us people with Higher Functioning Aspergers always range from quiet to extremely intelligent.

 

But being consistently in atmospheres where no one get's us can make one eventually very anxious and depressed. All the best with your son - I am sure he's going to turn out great!

Edited February 11, 2013 by Testing_Manners

[Noskcaj86]

Thanks jeanne and testing_manners