Son diagnosed Asperger/ADD

[bains]

My 15 year old son has just been diagnosed with Asperger. The clinician is doing a test which i think is likely to reveal Attention deficit disorder.

 

He has become very irratable and impulsive if I tell him to do something and as he has just started GCSE is getting very stressed impulsive and rigid about following things to the rule. I have spoken to his teachers at school.

 

 

I am finding him quite unmanagable sometimes.

 

 

I wanted some advice as to what experience people have of medications and if they help. I do not want to him to suffer like some of the stories I have read about people on medications.

 

His symptoms suddeny got worse in adolescence. From peoples experience how is it best to navigate this difficult time and when does it subside.

In the late teens or further.

 

Is it possible to get through this difficult teenage time without medication and a good routine and cognitive behavioural therapy.

 

Thank you

[Lyndalou]

Hi Bains

 

Hi and welcome to the forum - I hope that you find it helpful and informative.

 

The teenage years can be confusing and difficult for all teenagers but for teenagers on the autistic spectrum it can be even more so. A major part of having an ASD is anxiety and this can then lead to quite rigid behaviour as this is a way of controlling the environment because familiarity and having things a 'certain way' is a way to feel safe.

 

I wouldn't personally rush to considering medication as the principal way to deal with the difficulties your son is experiencing and the knock-on effect it is having on the family. Medication can definitely be a helpful aid to minimise stress but it can also have side effects which are different for different people. Often, it can be used in conjunction with other less invasive and 'natural' interventions to help the person cope better but there is not an easy fix to the difficulties a person with ASD experiences.

 

The way I look at it is that there is always a reason for challenging or difficult behaviour. As I have said, much of it could be anxiety based but there are many reasons for that anxiety; some could be caused by the pressures of school, being around many other people and the noise, chaos, expectations he and other people place on him, difficulties with organisation and timekeeping (if you are talking about an ADD possibility), a different learning style to many of his peers - those are just some possibilities. If you and him start to learn what the 'triggers' are which set off the anxiety and the behavioural demonstration of that anxiety then it will become over time easier to manage.

 

He probably needs a lot of 'down time' or 'alone time'. Focusing on what he is really interested in will probably be a way of releasing pent up emotion and providing some focus. However, he still needs to be among other people at times to learn the skills necessary to cope but I would warrant a guess that if he is putting in a lot of energy at school and that it is having the effect you describe on him that the amount of unstructured time he could cope with outside school time might be limited. It is also a really good idea that he gets a fair amount of exercise - if he is cooped up in the house all the time this will definitely have an adverse effect on his mood!

 

Good routine and structure in his life will definitely help him feel 'safer'. If he is warned in advance about things which are happening in his life, this might help him cope better too as it minimises the stress of uncertainty which again is a big issue with ASD.

 

All the Best

 

Lynda

[bains]

Thanks Lynda,

 

It all makes alot of sense what you have said. As he feels under pressure from school and although was anxious before was getting really anxious now.

[oxgirl]

Hi bains, how does your lad feel about his diagnosis? It is not an easy time for him to receive this news, especially with all the pressure of GCSEs looming.

 

When it comes to medication, it's difficult to say. My lad is 19 now and medication was suggested when he was around 14 for OCD behaviours that we impacting on his life. In the end, we didn't go down that route and symptoms did ease with some therapy and time. When it comes to Asperger's though, what kind of medications were you thinking? Is there aggressive behaviour or not sleeping or depression? I think those symptoms can be helped with medication but for general Asperger's/teenage angst problems I'm not sure what medications are available.

 

I hope that school is supportive and it could be that once his GCSEs are over he might be able to feel less stressed. Does he know what he wants to do after his GCSEs?

 

~ Mel ~

[bains]

Hi Mel,

 

To be honest I do not know which medications they would prescribe but he does get aggressive and bangs quite violently on doors and walls when stressed about work or told to do something,so the medication could be for mood swings and aggressive impulsivity.

 

.Also, I'm not sure about depression but I don't think it would be too much. They have not given a full diagnosis. The psychiatrist is stiil correlating test results for Attention Deficit Disorder.

 

He did want to do A levels as he is quite a bright boy but finding the pressure of exams especially English as it has a more uknown factor very difficult to cope with. The school is trying to ease pressure and are offering counselling.

 

 

Thanks

[trekster]

Hello and welcome, ive found some supplements to help with my anxiety. Taurine, b complex and avoiding gluten or dairy in my diet (now i can manage some dairy). Meds tend to react badly with me so i cant cope with them, even pain meds are limited to paracetamol. If you can avoid abstract subjects and stick to more black and white ones when he does A levels. Also you should qualify for him having extra time and a seperate room for exams.

[bains]

What do you do if your 15 year old is having very severe mood swings. Like knocking big holes in walls. Really need help

 

 

bains

[trekster]

Try supplements that help with depression eg b vitamins, omega oils.

[Lyndalou]

First off, what do you think sets off these mood swings? Have you discussed this with him and what does he say? Does he have any advance warning that he is feeling like this?

 

As someone who often has severe mood swings, sometimes it can seem like it all comes out of nowhere to everyone else and quite often I don't know why I've been so upset myself until afterwards. However, one reason for my mood swings is suppressing things I am struggling with because I don't want to look 'stupid', 'incapable' or 'childish'. I have always felt I don't quite measure up no matter how hard I try so since my early teens I have disguised difficulties and deflected attention away from the things that I don't want people to see (this has diminished over the years but always recurs under times of stress) One of the difficulties associated with ASD is having problems identifying your own emotions and regulating them and this can often come coupled with a lack of impulse control.

 

I am a door slammer and I always have been. I also throw things and can take 'tantrums' which I am ashamed of later and often I have a voice in my head shouting 'Stop it' whilst I'm in the midst of it. I am not proud of this fact and over the years I have learned more constructive ways to channel frustration and deal with anger because this is essentially the root cause much of the time. I get frustrated when my computer slows down when it 'shouldn't', when I can't figure out how to do things I 'should' be able to do, when I feel that people are putting me down or taking the mickey but I can't know for sure, when I witness people putting in half the effort to achieve something it takes me all my energy to do and the list goes on.... It can become a vicious circle and can be quite debilitating if self esteem issues are not addressed.

 

It sounds very like your son is frustrated. There are things that he has no control over and that he can't get his head around and a build up of emotion can lead to the outbursts of anger you witness.

 

You mentioned CBT in your opening post. Perhaps this could be an avenue he could pursue and if his anger is unmanageable it might be wise to contact CAMHS, Child and adult Mental Health Services sooner rather than later, especially if he is struggling with the pressure of exams. Someone may be able to work with him to help him identify what his 'triggers' are and I would suggest that if he is willing to engage with you then it is important to address his concerns and help him deal with his anger more constructively. It may be suggested that some medical intervention might be necessary short-term (or even longer term) but I think the starting point is to identify the root causes (and there may be many) of his frustration and anger. You might find that you 'working alongside' him might have a positive effect in itself.

 

I'm afraid that my son is a lot younger than yours so someone else would have to advise of school assistance.

Edited February 9, 2013 by Lyndalou

[Sally44]

Has he been referred to Clinical Psychology and CAHMS?

Does he have a Statement? Any support/provision he needs should be detailed in his Statement.

 

Lots of children with an ASD struggle in school, and for some it becomes harder as they get older and the demands on them increase. That is academically, socially and from a speech and language perspective too.

 

Can he identify what it is that is upsetting him? Is he getting overloaded/overwhelmed and needs more time out, or more struture. Are sensory issues a problem for him [smells, sounds, visual distractions, touch sensitive, poor co-ordination and planning]. Does he actually understand what he is supposed to be doing and how to organise himself to do it?

 

If he has an ASD and has problems with imagination, he may really find it impossible to write on certain topics. He maybe better with factual things. So he maybe struggling with lessons and homework. He may also feel different and feel alone in school. Does he get on with his peers or is he often on his own and anxious at breaktimes/dinnertimes?

[Dijac]

Hi,

 

I am goign to mention, against most of the others, that at diagnosis, my son's psyciatrist started him on Risperdal (he is only on 0.5ml per day).At the time before, and at diagnosis he was very frustrated, and was getting aggresive with frustration. He also didn't sleep very well. We foudn the medicine helped calm him, and he seems to sleep better - and being less tired, seems to sleep better. Maybe it's the medicine, or maybe just the fact we are taking his problems more seriosuly, but I haven't been chased with an iron bar for 2 years now. Will also researched Aspergers on the internet, and this helped him - especially when he found out some famous, successful people have As.

 

That was 2 years ago, and Will is now 13. And despite growing a lot, is still on the same dose. Once he accepted his diagnosis, (this took a while), he was able to talk about what were his major problems, and we have tried to address them. He still comes home for lunch almost every day - this gives him a de-stress time - without the noise and smells of the school canteen. And some privacy to do his de-stress ritual before going back for the afternoon - he walks up and down the garden path, or round the dining table if raining. He came up with his ritual when he was very young, and it is great he has something that de-stresses him. Thsi little break means he is much more able to cope with school.

 

We are in France, so I am not sure how things work in UK, but Will is taking his Brevet (sort of equiv to o levels) - He qualifies for extra time in his exams - most of which he won't need, except maybe in French - as your son does in English.

 

I wouldn't say you should go down the medication route, but for us it has worked, so don't rule it out completely, but use it alongside some other things. Over time, my son's growing has naturally reduced his dose, and we hope by the end of adolescence, we will be able to stop it all together.

 

Good luck,

Diane

[trekster]

Pleased risperidal is helping your son, it sent me psychotic as meds can do the oppostie for me.

[Dijac]

Hi Trekster,

 

We were very wary of starting him on meds, and when he was having just a small difficult time, the pyschiatrist wanted to double the dose, but we refused. Also, I guess I should mention he does struggle a bit with his weight - a side effect, although this year he has started to walk home from school, as he hates the bus - which has helped maintain things. So I know it isn't ideal, and doesn't work for everyone. I guess fr my son it just made him calm enough to tell us what his main problems were.

 

Diane

[bains]

Hi

I am going to the CAMHS office on Wednesday to see the psychiatrist. He is likely to suggest handling the ADD or the Asperger side with medication.Will talk about finding trigger CBT and try supplements, cutting out dairy and so forth..

 

He is finding abstract subjects like English difficult and is getting fustrated by that but quite honestly any little glitch like with the computer can set him off. Also he seems so anxious when I address discussing what the problem is that I have to leave it but can guess the triggers which are reinforced by your advise.

 

Will go to school to get an SEN or IEP whilst dealing with the medical side. He does have friends at school who are quite high achievers might be fustrated that before he could keep up but now can't. He does not get into mood swings at school so much just very anxious about getting work in on the set time. Although the teachers have said he does not have to do this he still gets in a fix on it. I think the routine at school is beneficial to some degree.

 

Also, planning and organisation are a key issue as he wants to spend all his time on the computer then gets fustrated when he hasn't done his school work. This might be ADD.

 

bains

[trekster]

Good idea re cutting out certain foods. Omega oils could help with behaviour, depression and concentration. Some folks find ADHD meds can help them, 'multicoloured mayhem' is an excellent book about adhd, autism and other disabilities. i highly recommend it to you. For your son 'freeks geeks and asperger syndrome' is an excellent book written by an asperger teen.