Girls on the spectrum

[windylou]

Hello, You may of seen (or not) on another post that I have an 8 year old son who was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. I have now realized that I do not know what would be classed as typical development for a child??. I have a daughter who is 4 and I don't actually know what this would be, at the moment I am having the same...that's different...moments that I had with my son before Aspergers was mentioned but for different reasons I don't know if the 'that's different' moments would actually be typical behaviour?.

 

She was referred to a paediatrian when she was 3 by her speech and language therapist after she learned that my son was involved with CAMHS just as a precaution. The paediatrician saw no problems, but I think that would be due to the fact that at the time I had no concerns other than her delayed speech. Now I'm not so sure.

 

I understand that all children are different but can anybody please tell me of their experiences with their daughters who are on the spectrum when they were at this age?

[Willow-Tree]

When I was around 4, I mostly watching the same TV shows over and over, usually Thomas and Friends. I also played with my toys in a non conventional way; I used to empty jigsaw puzzle pieces into a mixing bowl and stir them with a wooden spoon, and also grab a handful of them and let them fall through my fingers. By this age, in terms of education, I was reciting the alphabet and was good with my numbers as well, and I was having full, grown up conversations with my Mum. I didn't play with the other children at my playgroup, and even at 4 remember getting annoyed if I had to work with another child on my project. I would mould my play doh by myself, or paint alone. When we went out onto the field to collect 'nature', everyone was just wandering around in a group shoving whatever they could find into their box, but I wandered slowly and chose peices that I like the look of, and carefully placed them in my box. I was more interested in a conversation with my teacher than I was with the other children. I also had a bad accident when I was 4 or 5, where I broke my arm and damaged my front teeth - but I didn't cry when it happened, even though it hurt, and I didn't communicate my pain to my parents, so I ended up going a day and a half before they took me to hospital.

[windylou]

Hi Willow, thank you.

 

My daughter does similar with jigsaw pieces, she will also empty my entire cupboard of any jugs, plastic cups, dishes and put random items into them...then just leave them on her table infact I am quite sure she is just copying what the speech and language therapist did with her, and that is why it came naturally when the paediatrician did the same. She will fill her pram with dolls/other toys/cushions and just push it around but never seems to be playing. When she does appear to be playing she will put her dolls together and she is only ever her teacher (Its as though she turns into her teacher..tone of voice, posture etc) I went for a parents evening recently and there were notes about her development and something that stood out was that she avoids playing with other children, this is something the school are working on but she just loses interest and goes off to do her own thing again. She has mentioned that she doesn't like her friends but won't talk about it, and she has on occassions been very upset if she believes that she made her teachers cross. Even goes as far as to write (she is just starting out with the alphabet/letter formation) a sorry letter and if they do not acknowledge it ASAP she is distraught.

Edited March 20, 2013 by windylou

[Jazzy'smum]

Hi Windylou, My daughter is autistic and from all the people I have spoken to and from what I have seen with friends etc, Girls with ASD do tend to present differently to boys and in more subtle ways. My daughter had similar issues as Willow stated regarding pain. She is also very verbal but follows her own agenda. I got really sick and tired of hearing 'own agenda' back in the beginning. She also obsessed over things, mainly bugs and volcanoes. I would say if you have any concerns at all get her reffered to be checked out. Be sure to tell them though if when they get her to do something like the cup thing you mentioned you think it is learned or copied behaviour from before.

[Lyndalou]

I must admit that I can't really remember a lot of what I was doing at 4 but things that sticks out in my mind was that I repeatedly did puzzles as a toddler (just like my son) and often I did them with picture side down, I had a spinning top (one of the ones that you push down on the top) and I used to love watching that and I was a precocious speaker who spoke clear sentences at the age of 18 months . There is a picture of me at a toddler group. It always puzzled me when I looked at the picture why I was 'separate' to the rest of the kids; in the picture I was standing and not smiling by the window while the other little girls were all bunched together smiling and looking at the camera. At school (I started school at 4), I was classed as a 'daydreamer' as I zoned out a lot and got into trouble for 'not paying attention' or 'disobedience' and I was reading 3 (children's) books a night on my own by the age of 5. By all accounts, I spent a lot of time 'gardening' outside of school at that age too on my own too and I remember being fascinated by worms. Not long after, I used to go digging for bait and fishing with my dad and I was very possessive of my time spent with him.

[trekster]

Im an autistic female and I tend to copy others social skills, the problem arises when I copy the wrong social skills or when my script in my head doesn't work.

[smileyK]

Females with ASD to tend get 'left behind' forgotten about as tend to put in coping skills in place for 'missing /lacking skills' like social skills so may just be she is presenting in total different set of ASD difficulties,traits and issues I wouldn't overlook or out rule over turn the possibility of the outcome of ASD lot females like myself didn't get officially 'found'/discovered -diagnosed in our early teens when lot support services been and gone - evapourated and disappeared non existent! By then time has been missed and passed with 'early intervention' and support! I know at that age struggled with so many different daily living skills especially dressing myself feeding myself (without making a right mess) riding a bike putting on my shoes playing with dolls /teddies (imaginative play) found 'challenging' difficult! Was later on in childhood put down as dyspraxia and left at that but 'always something else' -more to it that just that! Might be case for daughter's situation if you unsure lost and confused best to get checked out again!? No harm as if it is 'just left out there' and there is something 'else'! Parent's intuition (gut feeling) is normally 'always spot on' (right) maybe need chasing up as been a while since 'issues' in anything has been investigated (looked into) further sounds like much more involved than her speech delay which can be offset issue of ASD difficulty! I would go back to docs ask to be referred to paedtrician or child pyschologist! Good luck! All the best! Don't let daughter end up in many females situations let grow into something 'massive' 'huge' issue involving mental health well-being! Being affected long term which takes long while to heal recover from! XKLX