Tips to reduce Ipad time... and violence. 11 year old son

[Beverley Smith]

hi there... im new, I think ive posted before, once, a while ago....

 

anyway, my son is 11 and his violence and aggression has got so bad im scared of him. He is on the verge of being expelled from school and is facing the possibility of moving back into mainstream cause the council here are saying he is able. School issues aside I need to address his ipad usage.

 

He has it tied to his hip, when he gets dressed he has it on, when he brushes his teeth it goes into the bathroom with him, as soon as he steps in the door he has it.....

 

He wont do as he is told when he is on it, he wont listen, he is in a world of his own, he is slow and unattentive when on it... he plays games like minecraft and watches youtube videos about minecraft.

 

The trouble is, when we try to remove it or switch off the wifi he loses it.... there is no build up to him losing it, he would go from a calm 0 to a mad 10 in that split second.....

 

He has a lot of issues and a complete lack of respect for his dad and I and its about time we made him realise we are the adults and we are in charge.

 

BUT im not sure how we go about this..... ive warned him that from tomorrow things will change and I would like him to be involved in this change, ie choosing when he can have his ipad on.... but his response was a big shout of NOOOOOOOOOOO to me.. and a threat to beat me up.

 

We are going to make a time table with rules.... I just want him to stop being violent.

 

 

[Shnoing]

It seems that it's too late for you to handle it on your own, you might be what is called "co-dependent" (re. an addiction). Reducing his ipad time might need several months of professional intervention.

[oxgirl]

Hi Beverley, I agree with you, I think you have no choice but to tackle this head-on. It is going to be hard, but you have to take back control. I think you are right, you need to sit down with the whole family and write out a clear contract, informing him that his violence will no longer be tolerated. I would physically remove his ipad from him despite the consequences. If he is violent or breaks things in the house he should be punished for this when he has calmed down. He needs to know that you both mean business and won't give in to his aggression. I think once the initial outburst is over and he knows that it will no longer get him what he wants then he will quickly moderate his behaviour in order to earn ipad time. If he misbehaves he will know that he will lose his ipad again.

 

Good luck with it, I know it will be hard at the beginning but surely it has to be better than it is now, with him effectively having control over you. He can't be allowed to continue with it and you know that yourself. Stay strong and make sure you and your husband are united and consistent and, most importantly of all, that neither of you give in to him or back down.

 

~ Mel ~

[collectingrocks]

What medication is he on? Could this in part, be causative to his aggressive behaviour? Also what sort of diet?

[collectingrocks]

See if you can eliminate aspartame and MSG from his diet. These are excito-toxins.

 

The clue is in excito....