madmooch Report post Posted August 16, 2005 My son, 4 (severe asd) has started to jump on and strangle his 2 yr old sister He's a very big lad for his age and can do alot of damage and when she cries he goes for her more. We had our first holiday together 2 weeks ago and the kids loved it we managed to get my son riding a pony which he enjoyed and while on holiday he kept cuddling his sister and we were saying "ahhh he's giving C a love" and she would give him cuddles, but since weve got back it's turned rough. I'm not sure why, whether he's trying to play with her or what but i've had to send her over her grandma's for a few days because she was starting to be afraid of him and i'm hoping when she comes back he will have forgotten about jumping on her If this doesn't work though, Have any of you got any ideas, pleeeeease Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lesley Report post Posted August 16, 2005 My 4 year old James does it to his 5 year old sister all the time - we even took pictures of the bite mark on her arm last time cos it was so bad. Most of the time it's just his way of playing - he doesn't realise we dont know he's laying power rangers unless he tells us. He's always rugby takled peers and adults alike just to say hello He and my AS hubby are v. heavy handed - like they have a low pain tolerance & dont realise what hurts others. James will bruise me if he kisses me - its like he wants to get inside me. They also never know when to stop. We always get him to apologise & make up if he's gone overboard but he can never stop himself mid-flow. My AS hubby says he gets the same thing - when your in the heat of the moment you just forget all the social rules you've learnt. I'd also appreciate some tips!!! Lx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Klou Report post Posted August 16, 2005 I have similar problems with my son's idea of playing. He has no idea of how hard or strong he is and no idea when to stop. We don't do much rolling on the floor type play because he gets so out of control and when he tries it on his friends it is disasterous. Unfortunately with limited social/communication skills he has realised that this rough approach causes an interesting reaction and gets him what he wants. We tend to use time out and tell him we are not pleased accompanied by the words no hitting, pushing. He has to be given something else to do away from the victims of his game or he will usually do the same thing again. Often it is a response to what someone else has done to him. We found on holiday that the other children with us would wind him up and get him to play rough or encourage him to do something silly which would go too far. My tip is to stop the action straight away and get them to do something else. Trying to steer the same game in a different direction or saying be careful or whatever has no effect on my son. DS also uses this approach to communicate he has had enough and wants to go home/ be left alone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Minxygal Report post Posted August 16, 2005 Because of Marks PDA he blames his brother for everything that he disagrees with or that doesn't go right for him. I worry that one day he will kill James. It's so bad that OT have built a room for Mark downstairs so that I have more chance of seperating the two of them. It's awful having to live with the agression all the time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted August 16, 2005 My son attacks his brother all the time, they are rarely nice to each other, drives me insane especially during school holidays when they are together all day every day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Minxygal Report post Posted August 16, 2005 It drains your spirit doesn't it?! Sometimes I just want to hang my head in despair. It's hard enough protecting your child from bullies but when it's from your own child its so much worse. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine1 Report post Posted August 16, 2005 same as above, although this holiday hasnt been too bad even though they had to share a room while we were away it wasnt bad at all. The more they stay apart the better obviously but there are times when u have to take them out together. hopefully as they get older it will get better. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted August 16, 2005 Hi, Thanks for all your replies It's awful when your being torn between your kids I do wish the holidays were over and we can get some peace There definately should be a provision for our kids during school holidays Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted August 16, 2005 There should be more for all kids, or holidays which aren't so stupid as a solid block of 7 weeks from school. Even if they split them as weeks across the year if they insist its required, or a shorter school week. I hated the summer holidays as a kid and I hate them even more now I have my own. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
invent 10 things b4 breakfast Report post Posted August 21, 2005 You all seem to be talking about your AS or suchlike child doing the hurting. I have the opposite problem, my Aspergers son is 8 and he is constantly attacked by his NT3 year old brother. He knows just what buttons to push! He's downstair now in the toliet with the 3 yr old hammering on the door, he gets no peace Anyone else have it this way round? and got any ideas? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted August 21, 2005 My NT 4 year old does pester his brother all the time, but mostly as he wants to play with him/attention from him and his brother just isn't interested. I just have to keep him busy and out of his way, not as if I can make his brother want to play with him because when they do everything has to be done his way, and that just creates more problems. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
