so i was being good

[Guest flutter]

and this morning, the speech and language assesment appears

dont understand most of it, it is pretty ambigious ( sp)

but does she that she will need support at school pretty much all the time ( i think)

i am tossin between anger at school ( who said she gets sarcasm ) and sadness,

why as a childcare person did i NOT notice that my baby never made imaginary cups of tea.

Added to which she is packing her school bag for friday

stop the world i needs to get off

[jools]

<'>

 

use the anger that you have got constructively and fight for the help that she will need in school.

 

don't punish yourself over anything you may or may not have spotted. personally i think it is so hard when you live with someone to always notice their differences. everything becomes normal to us

not sure if i'm making myself clear

[call me jaded]

Don't be hard on yourself, nobody I've met so far is perfect.

 

My 'denial' lasted years and continues to this day in a part of me. Direct your attention to where something can be changed. This is what gave me peace.

[helenl53]

Flutter, you looked at your child, quite rightly, as a wonderful little individual.

 

In all probability, if you maybe had doubts about the make believe, you would have been told that kids all develop differently and they all have their own personalities and you would have probably felt like neurotic mum of the century.

 

This is all so new to all of us and we are all learning as we go. The fact that we are all on this forum is testament to how much we care and none of us have anything to reproach ourselves for.

 

I have beat myself up heaps, because I knew that things were not right with my lad virtually from the conception , but my AS jusband told me that he was so normal and that it was because we had been spoilt by my eldest and that J was typical. I accepted that I was worrying unecessarily. I waited a long time till I sought help an only then when a teacher told me that she had serious concerns. Why did I not trust my own instinct. Hindsight and foresight is a wonderful thing.The rest is history.

 

The main thing is that when you do know what the problem is, that you tackle it head on and with your head held high.

 

Best wishes

 

HelenL

[CarerQuie]

I felt that guilt at not recognising my child's difficulies sooner,too.I decided not to waste any more time with regrets but to focus on getting RH all the help he needs.

 

((((((HUGS))))))

 

Kris.x

[Zemanski]

I had experience with ASDs before Com was born and certainly should have known what was up by the time he was 5 or 6 but it took till he was eight to figure it out and another year for diagnosis, his first consultant missed it at 7 too. What's more it was suggested by his grandad at 3 and even though I already knew he had social interaction problems I dismissed it out of hand.

 

God, did I feel guilty

 

but in the end you have to leave all that behind and get on with raising your kids the best way you know how - Com is Com with or without a diagnosis and while the diagnosis gives us a handle on how to meet his needs a bit better it is really for other people. We were meeting his needs just fine until other people stepped in when he had to start school because we didn't treat him as NT or AS, we treated him as Com.

 

Com is clever and delightful, he has endless imagination and even made cups of tea for his dolls and teddies. His fascination with science and maths and computers keeps us thinking and learning, he never tires of spouting on about magic cards, norns, dragons,.... and constantly designs creatures and monsters. His artwork is stunning, his humour intriguing, his quirks amusing and he loves us just as much as we love him.

 

We worry about him, we fight for him and we get depressed about how he will cope with a world that just doesn't seem to understand but at least we have bits of paper to wave at them now when they tell us he has to conform and behave like everyone else - it does help

 

stay strong and be positive

 

Zemanski

[mrs q]

Please don't feel guilty....

 

Just use all your strength to fight the system to make the system work for your child.

 

Good luck