Aversion to touch

[Lynden]

Logan (2) hates being touched a lot of the time. He's fine with cuddles etc (from us - doesn't like strangers) but hates if you touch his hands/arms. For example a normal thing for me to do with Leona (my 'normal' 3yo) would have been to take her hand and show her which buttons to push to make a toy work etc but if you try and do this with Logan, he completely freaks out. Other things are like us trying to roll up the sleeves if his top is too long (which obviously I do before dressing but he normally pulls them down!)

 

According to our SLT the OT (when we eventually see her) will have suggestions of how we can help him become less sensitive to touch but I wondered if anyone on here had experience of it. Does anyone have any suggestions of helping him become less sensitive that way or is it something that will always be?

 

Thanks

Lynne

Edited August 31, 2005 by LLaverty

[oracle]

Hi Lynne,

 

I can not offer any help but you are not alone, we have a Mum in our local group who has the same problem with her son. He hates skin to skin contact and he also freaks out if anyone tries to hold his hand.

 

His Mum is very worried as he is due to begin Nursery this month I will be interested to see if any one has any advice.

 

 

Carole

[Suze]

Hi not really the same , but my son is the opposite, is very firm and rubs and pats and strokes all the time .He hugs me at bedtime and it consists of , bear hug , kiss (full on)....and arm rub...ouch!

[Zemanski]

Com is 'tactile defensive' and pretty much like Logan. Right from birth he didn't want to be held close except to feed and had to be held upright facing out so he could watch the world.

 

I solved the sleeve problem by buying jumpers and tops with tightish cuffs - that way I could buy 2 sizes too big and make them last I also used to tack sleeves and trouser cuffs so they couldn't unroll.

 

There are lots of strategies for helping tactile defensive children, your OT should give you a list.

I used to do baby massage on Com which turned into regular 'rubbing' sessions where I would rub his back or limbs firmly - he enjoys this from me but doesn't let anyone else do it and the OT said that he would probably be much worse and have poorer muscle tone if I hadn't done it. It carried on long after I would have stopped because I felt he needed to enjoy touch and this was just about the only touch he enjoyed - I realised this when he was very little, long before diagnosis.

 

To be honest, I think the OT was overestimating the value - he's still pretty bad, especially if someone approaches from behind; now he's in high school a couple of bullies have discovered they only have to brush a finger across his back to get a panic reaction. Com still won't let us clean his ears out, cut, comb or brush his hair (which is long), apply sunblock or any other cream, oil or liquid and he won't wear anything tight, with a label or that isn't cotton.

 

Apparently play with textured substances is very good for desensitising - playdough, sand (wet and dry), dry tea leaves and coffee grounds, cornflour/custard powder and water, bubbles (encourage getting them to land on different parts of the body or play with them in a bowl or dress up in them in the bath - can you make a beard? can you put some bubble trousers on?) clay, soil, mud, crunchy leaves in autumn, mown grass in summer (as long as you don't have hayfever), facepaint (for whole body), soap crayons - the list is endless.

 

If Logan is anything like Com he won't actually touch most of these things but they can be fun.

 

Zemanski

[kaycollins95]

If its any comfort to you my chelsie wouldnt let me touch her from birth untill she was around 4 years old when she suddenley started to love and kiss me. Its still on her terms that we have a cuddle but was well worth the 4 year wait.

[katkin]

There is a series of packs called "tac pac" that can be obtained. These are specifically designed for tactile defensive and PMLD children. it comes with a tape of music and various things to use on the child and instructions. It's very clever but simple, some of the things look like ordinary household items: chopsticks, softcloth, green scratchy thingy,etc etc. At school we bought one pack of each then made up more by buying our own things from wilkinsons and the pound shop. It is good because it is structured, only lasts for a set period of time, is designed to work on the senses and includes a bit of wind down at the end. Normally it's me who wants to sleep though! Though I must say that visitors to school have looked a bit askance when we appear to be attacking some poor defenceless child with chopsticks. Don't know at the moment where we got it from - not in school yet - but OT might know?? Hope this helps a bit, kat

[~Jonathan~]

I'm 31 and loathe physical intimacy in any form. I normally shake people's hands right away to get it over and done with.

[BusyLizzie100]

My tactile defensive son likes things to be on his own terms and he likes to be control. So if I try to hold his hand or use his hand to do something, he might scream blue murder. He likes to give me 'hugs' by sitting on me or lying on me and pressing his face hard against mine, but if I try to initiate a hug he goes stiff and pushes me away. I think it's partly because he's not in control and it scares him. Sometimes when I pick him up from school he comes over to me and gives me a 'normal' hug, but it so's false and stiff; I think it's a learnt action. Hopefully your OT will give suggestions. I like the idea of the 'tac pac', especially if it helps him wind down and get off to sleep at night.

 

Lizzie

Edited September 2, 2005 by BusyLizzie100