Boarding and integration

[madme]

My son is in a small school. He has a dx of adhd aspergers and dyspraxia. Hes been there over 18 months but is still a bit of an outsider. Although he was initially invited to parties this has stopped. I have tried taking his out with other kids after school recently but it just doesnt seem to help. He is 10 and admitted that other day that some in his class call him a nerd. We ae awaiting a report from nhs salt wbout how he can be better integrated in the school during unstructued times. The school has children with mixed dx adhd, dyspraxia, aspergers, dyslexia. He tends to play with kinex often alone at lunch. He doesnt play football as he found that he wasnt chosen. I think he would like to feel more included. As the children come from such a wide area its difficult to meet up outside school. He recently spent 3 days at a boarding school and loved it. I worry that if we did succeed in getting him in there ( expect will have to go to tribunal) he might not cope that well after te intial excitement with living with others in such an environment. Do any of your children board and how have they coped

[streamdreams]

I personaly wen to boarding school and the structure was very good for me however it was not easy , AS kids ofter suffer very bad home sickness. It is not a utopian solution. buit the structure is better often than the home enviroment.

 

J

[Canopus]

I attended a special needs boarding school during the early 1990s and hated it. I did not think the school catered for my needs and was run along the lines of strict old fashioned discipline. There were no inclusion policies and the individual needs of kids were not met. The headmaster was an arrogant pompous man who I could not communicate with. He did not speak in plain clear english but in similies, metaphors, figures of speech and used all sorts of words that hardly anyone could understand. He was a mental bully whose weapon was fear and intimidation. The kids did not know their legal rights and I am 100% sure he played on this unawareness to force them to do certain things in a way that is illegal. Some of the kids had conditions like AS but others were there because they were excluded from school for things like vandalism, arson, car theft or assault and needed to be kept under surveillance. Many were nasty people with a vindictive attitude. Bullying and victimisation by both kids and carestaff was rife and the headmaster's attitude was fight your own battles and learn to deal with bullying. None of the carestaff were qualified in SEN and many had no qualifications at all. A high proportion were from the armed forces. Quite often the carestaff couldn't understand the behaviour of certain kids and treated them badly as a result.

 

I know this sounds terrible but I think special needs boarding schools have changed beyond recognition now and actually help and support kids rather than trying to emulate public schools from decades gone by with their harsh and tense environment.

[Canopus]

I personaly wen to boarding school and the structure was very good for me however it was not easy , AS kids ofter suffer very bad home sickness.  It is not a utopian solution. buit the structure is better often than the home enviroment.

 

Isolation was a big problem at my boarding school. The school had no connection with any other schools, businesses, or local organisations. Half a mile down the road was a medium sized secondary school. It baffles me that my school couldn't even organise things like sports and social events between the two schools.

Edited October 11, 2005 by Canopus

[streamdreams]

Half a mile down the road was a medium sized secondary school. It baffles me that my school couldn't even organise things like sports and social events between the two schools.

 

I doubt thatis would have worked. In my experience local schools an bording schools dont mix. ther is too much predujis on the part of the local school. eith they say the bording school is eliteist or in the case of a special needs school "full of spastics". this was the same experienc for all 7 of the broding schools the vairouse members of my family attended.

 

They would have need to organise things from futher a fields

 

Isolation is a problem, my school was in a stately home in the country side of not wasles 10 miles form the nearest towns. for me howeve the isolation was not a problem. although the grass was always geener on the other side.

 

 

j

[Canopus]

I don't think the school was elitist in any way and some kids came from quite poor backgrounds including council estates. There were a few upper middle class kids whose parents had 5 series BMWs and Mercedes but nobody came from seriously affluent backgrounds. Every kid had previously attended a state school apart from one who was expelled from a small local fee paying school. The school had a uniform but it wasn't any different to typical state school uniforms.

 

Many of the kids were NT with a record of bad behaviour rather than had any SEN. They certainly weren't in the "spastic" category. A few were NT and at the school because of problems with their families rather than themselves.

[bid]

My son is 16 and goes to a residential special school for AS.

 

He fitted in with boarding life without any problems, and enjoys the activities they do after school and at the weekend.

 

This new term it's not been quite so much fun, because his three mates left at the end of the summer term, and his remaining friends are day boys so he misses their company in the evenings.

 

He's looking forward to re-joining two of his mates next September at a residential special college for AS (funding permitting ).

 

He has also still kept in contact with 3 friends at home from his old mainstream school, which is nice.

 

Bid

[Kazzen161]

>>He recently spent 3 days at a boarding school and loved it. I worry that if we did succeed in getting him in there ( expect will have to go to tribunal) he might not cope that well after te intial excitement with living with others in such an environment.

 

My son has been boarding for 4 years. His school make a big effort to make sure that they "socialise" with others. His school is set up with several home-like housebases (about 6 boys/girls or mixed), but the children can go out with other house-bases/children if they wish. They have outings most evenings.

 

T has gone through phases of being sociable or less so (partly depending on what children are around). He is doing very well socially at the moment, even though his best friend has moved to the 16+ part, so he doesn't see him much.

 

Karen

[madme]

Thanks for your responses. I too worried about the isolation. I understand that this particular baording school do get involved with the local community.

But hey at least its not central london and the types that I fear he will come across if he has to commute to school here alone- which to be honest isnt an option. Having taken him again on a train today it was hell. He has so little idea about personal space you can imagine on a crowded commuter train!

Im concerned that the only evidence we have for boarding is an old report from the hospital stating that it would be the best in the long term. We dont have a social worker and im not sure that we want one. Can anyone give me ideas on what sort of evidence will be needed to support educational requirement for boarding - are there useful tips taht I can plant in his psych and current sencos mind ( this is transfer to secondary) Thanks

[Kazzen161]

>>Can anyone give me ideas on what sort of evidence will be needed to support educational requirement for boarding - are there useful tips taht I can plant in his psych and current sencos mind

 

Unless you have SS involvement saying that the family/he needs him to be residential (and therefore contributing to the cost), you can argue that he needs a 24 hour curriculum - re: consisitency, routine, structure. That they can teach him life and social skills that the other schools/you cannot (due to time, opportunity, staffing, consistency). You can argue for small classes, TEACCH, etc (but only if other schools don't provide them). Expertese of the staff.

 

But in reality, you have to show that all other cheaper schools cannot meet his needs. In my son's case, no other school could meet his needs, and the only school that coudl happened to be residential. Ideally you need to get the Statement to include needs that the other schools cannot meet.

 

Karen

[Canopus]

The reason why my educational psychologist recommended a boarding school was because I was a withdrawn individual who spent too much time at home in front of a computer and didn't socialise enough with people of my own age group. I also had bad social skills with most people of my age group although they were significantly better with adults. AS wasn't known about at the time and the educational psychologist thought that by forcing me in contact with other kids in after school hours in a communal environment with no computers would make me more sociable and solve my social skills problems.

 

Read more about my statement at http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...t=0entry38358

[madme]

Thanks all. One more question. Sorry I should really have posted this on education. We won at tribunal on costings previously. mainstream was deemed appropriate but only a well resourced school with 15 hrs lsa, salt and ot - this was same as small private specialist school. I can recall mention of AWP of �3000 then they added costs of lsa and ot weekly. What does this stand for and where do i get the figures. I remember looking at the cost of a placement at a maintained special school but was told by lea that that is irrelevant as they have to fund school whatever. Is this correct? The school we want is a mainstream independent baording with specialist provision and v small class sizes. In reality the vast majority of the pupils have sen( spld, dysprxia, dyslexia, adhd, aspergers, dyscalculia). The cost for baording is the same as a local private day special school which might also be suitable. Im worried that if I name a private special school they will try and push him into a local state special school which in reality dont have the academics and are often EBD although they claim to have increasing numbers of asd pupils. The attainment at GCSE is v low for both local schools. My son has a high iq but will have difficulty taking exams. I know that he couldnt cope in a school of 1200 or even 600. The two schools we have liked which are priavte have less than 90 and 200.

[mossgrove]

Making a case for boarding as the preferred would be very difficult if you do not have reports etc. from professionals saying this is needed by the child.

 

The cases I know about are where there are no day schools within a reasonable daily commute that can meet the childs needs, so there hasd been an out-of-area placement the boarding has been for practical reasons rather than being the preferred option.

 

Simon

[madme]

There is one day school but im not sure and the fees are the same as for boarding. apart from that no day school nearby which is suitable in my opinion.If you add on travel costs to that school then its more than the boarding as would be daily costs. Schools are so large if state maintained and he will find it difficult( probably impossible- having called a few previously they were non to keen to contemplate and said couldnt provide appropraite help) to get into a private mainstream school in london which are highly selective and they are the only ones with small roll and class size. Lea do appear to have conceded via ed psch that cant return to large mainstream at present. I would prefer him not to board but it seems to be only real choice where will have appropriate help, small class size, understanding and appropraite expertise. God I need to go and do the lottery.

[MelowMeldrew]

If your child is going to a boarding school, then the die is pretty much cast, it's felt true integration is not going to happen, they're going to be in a specialised and controlled environment (Forget the chintz curtains), which is nothing like mainstream is it ? It's a catch 22 you want the child given the best chance, in some cases a break from the very rigid rioutine some set for themselves and their families, at home is neccessary, to do an accurate assessment of just how much independancy the child is likely to achieve. Many of us are probably feeding his or her isolation by default.

 

Just like deaf schools, they get institutionalised, and used to having controlled surroundings set ways of doing things, and others taking the decisions. My son goes to an autistic unit, comes home that's it, it's how he wants it and is happiest, but I do not feel this is justification enough. I want some sort of semi-residential schooling, because I need to know what I am to expect when schools out for good. My child has done mainstream and shut down totally, did special needs classes, and they had no idea how to help, now an autistic unit, that is still suggesting we return him to a 'class/annex' tacked on to mainstream so he can 'integrate', which he hasn't done YET in his life, it is madness to my mind and very distressing too, to see the education system has 2 views, the first they have no idea what they're doing, and second, it costs too much to find out.

 

So they use 'integration' as a weapon against parents who want need addressed. So few Aspies make it, that's the reality, but even fewer get a chance to find out if maybe they could.

[Canopus]

The victimisation and bullying at my special needs boarding school was so rife when I started and during all of Y9 that all I wanted to do was make myself invisible. This is the exact opposite of integration. How can one relate well to others and make friends if they are consitently bullied and victimised by both staff and other kids? They can't.

 

I ended up violently assaulting another kid with a weapon because I was feeling so depressed and fed up with the place.

[Zemanski]

just a note to be aware of

 

integration is where the child must conform to the environment, they may be helped or trained to do this but no adaptation is implicit.

 

inclusion implies that the environment is adapted to some extent to enable a child to access it.

 

LEAs and schools use the terms interchangably because they don't recognise the difference and they often assume that integration is the aim of inclusion which is one reason inclusion is so ineffective for ASD kids

 

Zemanski