Pulled into school office today

[witsend]

Hi all - posted not too long ago about my concerns re my son threatning to self harm, mulled over all the replies and decided to see GP re getting referral to CAMHS, however delayed this 'cos (typically) things seemed to improve since last post and I convinced myself I was making mountains out of molehills again

But today when I went to collect son from school SA came out to ask me to go to office for a chat because there had been an 'incident' today with my son trying to cut his wrists!! , I had to wait for son to come out to join me and when he did he was obviously stressed and refused to go anywhere near office. I was v worried he would do a runner so went in to tell headmistress she then went out ot get son to come in (all nochalant!) despite me saying son was on edge of meltdown! Anyway then the circus began!

Son did his best to evade capture and managed to outrun 4 teachers in the playground watched by gleeful muffia, at one point they lost him altogether and were getting a bit panicked (so was I!!). Eventually SA found him and calmed him down. In the meantime head was telling me how a 'minor' upset had led to my son trying to stab himself and cut his wrists at lunchtime and that the school are now very worried about him.

Son eventually joined us and the head and SA were actually very nice to him, the outcome basically being we have all agreed referral to CAMHS is necessary.

Now feeling bit mixed up. Glad school have for first time seen a meltdown fro themselves and that they have confirmed what i was feeling was the right course of action, also disappointed in myself that I've postponed the GP appt and apparently CAMHS have long waiting list

Desperately worried son will next time actually do some (self) harm, this time it was with school knife which is not v sharp!

Also know that rest of school mothers (excluded me a long time ago) will be having a field day once they get wind of it.

Tried to talk to son about it after school but he wasn't prepared to go there

Am gonna make GP appt asap wether son will come or not but don't know what to do whilst waiting

Son actually quite cheery tonight and can't understand why I'm not!!

Just wanted to get it off my chest, Luv Witsned.

[smiley]

Just wanted to give you some of these <'> <'> <'>

 

My little lad self-harms too and it's awful to see.

 

More often than not - i'm more upset than he is.

 

Could you call CAMHS yourself?? I was told today that if i'm really desperate i can call and i may be able to get to see someone sooner. I think self-harming and running away is putting your son at risk = desperate in my book.

 

Hang on in there xxxxxx

[Kazzen161]

If you speak to your Health Visitor, she may be able to get you an emergency appointment with CAHMS.

 

Karen

Edited October 11, 2005 by Kazzen161

[phasmid]

While waiting for your GP apt get the school on the case. Go in tomorrow and tell them what you have told us. Ask them to push hard for a referal to CAMHS from their end. Also get that GP apt. Phone up and explain the urgency, or if you prefer print off the above, edit where necessary, and hand it to them as urgent message for GP. You could even try phoning CAMHS yourself and shouting 'Help!' at them, it could help - at least they will know the name when the referals come in.

 

Between those avenues the pressure ought to be enough to get you an emergency CAMHS apt.

 

Good luck.

[Kathryn]

Witsend,

 

I'm glad your son is OK tonight. but that must have been one stressful experience for you. <'> At least people at the school were able to see at first hand what happens when your son is under stress.

 

I have had similar incidents with my daughter too and I know what a worry it is. If you have a sympathetic GP they may be able to push for your son to be seen quickly by CAMHS. Given that your son has attempted to harm himself, this may be enought for a quick referral - we were able to jump the queue for this reason.

 

Don't blame yourself though - you can't predict everything: and don't worry about the school mothers - some people will always find something to criticise.

 

K

[Suze]

Hope your o.k., don,t feel awful, and ignore those playground vultures!.......Agree with the others a few well placed phone calls might get you an emergency appointment. <'> <'>

[littlenemo]

don't beat yourself up about waiting - now school are on board and concerned about having to care for a child who has already shown them how far he wants to go the referral may go through much more quickly

 

get a letter from them for your GP

 

with both asking for immediate referral you may get it within weeks instead of months - saw this happen a couple of weeks ago, the girl only had a 2 week wait and the waiting list is currently 4 months!

 

Zemanski

Edited October 13, 2005 by littlenemo

[witsend]

Thanks for all your replies - I've been going out of my mind with worry about this

But head called me in again yesterday and she has phoned Camhs and stressed the urgency of the situation and I' meeting with her later today to complete a report/letter for them which she will send asap and follow up, she is hopeful this will get my son near top of waiting list and as you said Zemanski he will then only have to wait weeks instead of months

I'm so glad school are helping me out with this one but I still feel desolate that my son is doing this and feeling so bad about himself

I've started to feel scared all the time now my nerves are on edge at what he may do next. I've tried to talk to him about what's making him feel so bad but most of the time he clams up, although last might he did talk a lot about my mum who died suddenly a couple of years ago - he is convinced it was his fault . It is just the worst feeling when you feel you can't help your own child.

Can anyone give me an idea of what camhs will do and how they can help? My son now thinks he is "mental" because of this referral and thinks they will medicate him, I could do with some more info so I can give him some reassurance.

Thanks for listening - Witsend.

[Flora]

witsend, it's not exactly the same as your situation but a few weeks ago my son had major melt down and threatened to kill himself etc. I took him straight to GP who, because of the suicide risk managed to get my son and appointment for the following week (we saw GP on the friday and had camhs appointment following Tuesday). We had a whole morning appointment and the Psychiatrist identified school as the root of my son's stress. My situation is of course different to yours in as much as the school were full of disbelief and the problem continues. The psych recommended stat assessment and put my son on medication, but really it's just masking the problem and the school are turning a blind eye and a deaf ear. It sounds like your school are actually taking your son's problems seriously so you will probably have more joy. Good luck with getting the appointment, but try stressing to your GP the self harm side of it which should enable you to get an emergency appointment.

 

Lauren

[Kathryn]

Hi Witsend,

 

What camhs will do probably depends on what's available in your area, but I can tell you how it's been for us. Our first appointment was as a family with a child psychotherapist and a psychiatrist. We talked through my daughter's problems and she was then offered weekly sessions with the child psychotherapist, to talk through stuff. She was already on medication, and this was reviewed at intervals. Her dad and I also met with this team a couple of times without her present. It was soon felt that she needed to be referred on to someone with more experience of ASD so she is now being seen at home by a psychiatrist from the adolescent outreach team (also part of CAMHS).

 

Your son may be offered other things - my daughter was offered art therapy (which she didn't like). Your son may be offered sessions with a clinical psychologist if there is one on the team - they are better trained and more experienced than child psychotherapists or psychiatrists in "talking" therapies and they can't prescribe medication. Ideally you'll get someone on the team who is experienced in ASD - this isn't always the case in every CAMHS, unfortunately.

 

Any treatment options will be thoroughly discussed with you and your son - reassure him that they won't just autoimatically "medicate" him. Also mention that young people are referred to Camhs for all sorts of difficulties, stress over divorce, bereavement, moving house etc and it doesn't mean he is "mental".

 

Our Camhs has a good website which is designed with young people in mind and explains clearly what they do. I found it really useful - maybe yours has something similar?

 

Hope this helps,

K

[lil_me]

Reading this brought tears to my eyes, as I know exactly what you are going through, my little boy is 6, he's self harmed when it comes to headbanging etc from being a baby and is now taking more and more steps down the slope of self harm, he's tried to cut himself, thrown himself down stairs etc. He cuts himself with his own nails and punches himself (extremely hard) mostly and says he wants to die. It breaks my heart, we have a meeting with CAHMS next week to discuss where to go from here. Sorry I can't offer much advice on a cure as I haven't managed yet myself, but plenty of <'> from someone who knows how you feel.