having a whinge

[mel]

hi all, not been on for a while. having a rough lousy stinking time at the moment. Sons dad refuses to accept that son has a problem. says he is just a naughty child. Hmph!! now he tells me that he will not have our son over night until he stops soiling at night. i have tried everything i can think of to get my son to use the loo at night but nothing works and now i have lost my only break from my son. He says that steven is just lazy and cant be bothered getting out of bed to go but i know thats not the case cos he often sits watching tv at 2 and 3 am cos he cant sleep. school says his behaviour is awful and he has no concentration skills whatsoever but because i have no diagnosis yet there isnt a problem. my dad also says he is just naughty. why is it when everything is obvious to me other people just refuse to accept it! is it that they are right and i am wrong? aw poo...im off whinging again time for the tissues.

 

sorry, just having a vent and a cry!

[Guest flutter]

<'> <'> <'>

seems to be a stressful time of year all round

[phasmid]

Mel, whinge all you like we're good for that here.

 

Have you thought of asking for an assessment of educational needs to be done for your son - I think you should consider it. Likewise an assessment of your needs as his carer sounds like a good idea too. You need some support right now.

 

<'> <'> <'>

[lisann]

This is actually Lisa's husband speaking.

 

I think that if your son's father won't have him to stay then it's his loss. My son is up out of bed 2-3 times on a good night or 7-8 times on a bad night. Yes, at 3 o'clock in the morning, the last thing you want to be doing is changing bedding or nappies. I can't imagine how tough it is for you to be going through this on your own.

 

All I can say is that your son is very very special and if his father can't see that maybe having to get up a few times one night a week, then he doesn't deserve to have him. He should think himself lucky!! I don't know what I'd do without my little boy. Sleepless nights or no sleepless nights.

 

As for your dad, our parents were also reluctant to accept what we were telling them. I assume from your post that you are on your own? We were lucky that we were together and that made us strong enough to decide that we were basically on our own with this.

 

I think you should go through the medical route rather than trying to battle with the school. Consultants usually have more clout than an "over-reacting" parent.

 

I've never posted on here before but I read your post and it made me feel really sad for you. I hope what I've written may have helped you a little bit.

 

Keep fighting for your son. He's more than worth it!!!

[annie]

Aw Mel, whinge all you want.

 

Sending you some of these <'> <'> <'>

 

Annie

XX

[phasmid]

Lisa husband:

 

Well said that man!

 

I think you should go through the medical route rather than trying to battle with the school. Consultants usually have more clout than an "over-reacting" parent.

 

A very good idea. It's the route we choose. It is likely to be quicker too (that said it isn't always the case).

[Suze]

Mel sweetie pie <'> , missed you and your bin liner . <'> , big hugs to you, I agree, start making a few waves, get a referral from your gp, can you get the school nurse involved aswell.Do you have a local support group.Must dash bath time........................................

[LittleRae]

Mel

 

<'> I won't comment on your son's dad as I know I'd be sorry afterwards....

 

My DS (9) has also soiled and wet himself at night (with problems also during the day) for the past 3 years. His problems were down to constipation, where we would have leakage once he relaxed (i.e. went to sleep). Luckily (?) he wouldn't often wake up during the night, so at least we didn't have that to contend with.

 

Anyway, DS has just returned from a 2 week stay in hospital where he has been 're-trained' (fingers crossed here) and we now have a strict regime in place at home (and at school). He has been 'clean' at night for more than a week and clean and dry during the day. He is sometimes still wet during the night, but one hurdle at a time

 

We struggled with this for 3 years while getting help from GP & consultant. It was decided by the consultant that a stay in hospital & a radical approach would be the best. Our DS would often refuse to go to the toilet for us and the consultant decided that he would not refuse the nurse (he did, but only temporarily ).

 

I wasn't sure about this treatment but have to say that I wish we had done it sooner. I know it probably won't be a permanent fix as some children have to do it many times. However, he will now be going to a fortnightly clinic to re-inforce the training, so fingers crossed.

 

Sorry, rambling on a bit. What I really want to say is medical intervention at this stage is probably called for.

 

Good Luck

 

A

[Hectorshouse]

<'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Mel it is definitely your ex's loss, although I know that doesn't help you with getting you a break. I'm pretty sure that being a parent didn't include exceptions or conditions to taking responsibility for our off-spring. Definitely get some help for you, you really need clarification of DX to help you access services that could help, and also then you wave these directly under ex's nose and hand him a copy of Tony Attwoods book.

 

Ignorance breeds abuse, your son is very lucky to have you, its such a shame that you ex can't see beyond what must be irritating and annoying to what actually is his son. Love of our children NT or otherwise isn't conditional.

 

Also a big to Lisa's Hubbie ... good to have you on board as well.

 

HHxx

[mel]

thank you everyone <'> you really made me feel better. i have been to stevens doctor and he is going to refer to a child whatsit ( cant spell it! psycho sumting or other. as for his dad..........well........ perhaps if i finally get a diagnosis he will maybe come round. i dunno, beyond caring at moment.

 

thanks again everyone

 

<'>