Any Home Educators here?

[ameretto]

If there are any Home Educators here who are willing to discuss the pros and cons with me before i make the big decision i would really appreciate it.

 

I have a son of 8 (dxed HF ASD) and a daughter of 6 with no SEN, who are both currently in school. My son is desperately unhappy and i am seriously contemplating deregistering him and possibly also his sister.

 

Ameretto

[oracle]

There are quite a few of us here who home educate.

 

What would you like to ask us?

 

Carole

[ameretto]

Hi Carole,

 

Lots of questions- but the main ones are;

 

What the attitude of different LEAs has been? Helpful or resistant? (I'm thinking mainly of elective HE with no statements to complicate matters)

 

How the children reacted/developed?

 

Is it completely exhausting?

 

What resources/groups/activities have been useful?

 

Cheers

 

Ameretto

[Emum]

I don't home educate, but there was an article about it in The Sunday Times yesterday which I remembered when I read your post. The link isSunday Times - home educating

Hope this is useful.

[oracle]

I will try and answer your questions as best I can.

 

What the attitude of different LEAs has been? Helpful or resistant? (I'm thinking mainly of elective HE with no statements to complicate matters)

 

This very much depends on the LEA in question. Some are only too pleased to be rid of the burden of providing for the child others see it as a slur against their provision. BUT There are very firm rules that govern what they can and can not do and I would suggest that you should join Education Otherwise - who also leagl representation if it is ever needed. To my knowledge this kind of support is hardly ever requires. Elective HE - that is what we chose also - means that they have even less say than they would if a child has a statement. My own LEA see us annually - well they do now because they lost our records and we heard nothing from them for three years. You have to prove that you are teaching your child but not that your child is learning. Daft isn't it?

 

How the children reacted/developed?

As if a light had been switched on in their lives I have HE'd two sons with ASD. One now 18 and the other aged 8. Both changed so much. It's a long story as David was HE'd after a breakdown, so it took much longer to see the difference that HE made to him, but when it did kick in it was massive. With Matthew it's like living with a different child. A child who now wants to learn and does not approach each day with fear and anxiety.

 

Everyone who HE's had a different agenda. We want the boys to learn but we place a great deal of emphasis on life skills, self help skills and effective communication and social skills. Our HE programme could not be further removed from a typical school day. But it works for us.

 

Is it completely exhausting?

 

For us it was liberating and it gave us back a quality of life that we did not have and also a huge sense of family. It gave us back a sense of belonging if only to each other. It is difficult to explain but opting out made life for us easier all round. I think it gave us back a sense of worth and value. It can be so negative always having to address the areas where your child is failing. We now celebrate the areas that our sons succed.BUT both of our sons are ASD. I do know quite a few families where they HE all of this kids SEN and NT.

 

On the down side it means you have your kids 24/7 and if like us you have no regular respite, in the form of baby sitters, then it can be exhausting but the pro out weigh the cons for us.

 

What resources/groups/activities have been useful?

 

There is a HUGE HE community and lots of groups and lists. These groups and list can give you all of the links to resources and information that you will ever need.

 

Hope this helps?

 

Carole

[ameretto]

Thanks, it's good to hear such positive experience. The Home Ed page of my LEA's website is quite stern so i think i'd better bone up before putting this into practice.

[ameretto]

I don't home educate, but there was an article about it in The Sunday Times yesterday which I remembered when I read your post. The link isSunday Times - home educating

Hope this is useful.

Thanks Emum i'll have a look

[oracle]

It may be a good idea to join a couple of groups who specalise in HE. You may well meet parents there who are in your Authority many Education Otherwise Groups operate all over the UK. You do not need to be Home Edding to join, just expressing an interest and in need of information.

 

May I ask which Authority you are in?

 

Caroole

[ameretto]

Kent

[denise2]

We started home educating our AS son in February and I agree with Carole's answers. We had our first visit from the LEA the other day and she was really friendly. She could see that my son is still very school phobic and said that she didn't think it was wise for him to go back to school for the forseeable future. As my son would have been in year 6 were working on the last year of key stage 2, but after looking at his work she suggested he went on to key stage 3. She also reasurred me that she was not interested in forcing our son back to school but helping us to provide the education he needs at home. Before her visit I just wanted her to come and then go away for another year. However she said she is going to send me details of some resources and then try and come back in 6 - 9 moths to see how he is getting on. I found it quite a positive experience, however I am aware that this is not always the case. Education otherwise and the forums associated with it are very good for information also.

 

 

Good Luck

 

Denise 2

 

www.education-otherwise.org.uk

[Canopus]

Lots of questions- but the main ones are;

 

What the attitude of different LEAs has been? Helpful or resistant? (I'm thinking mainly of elective HE with no statements to complicate matters)

 

Parents have a right to home educate and can withdraw their children from school whenever they like without having to give a reason to the school or the LEA. I don't think that any LEA ever recommends HE even if it is blatantly obvious that HE would be best. In fact, I have a sneaky suspicion that LEA "reps" are bound by duty and contract never to recommend HE. If parents go ahead with HE then the LEA will honour their wishes and won't play obstructive.

 

How the children reacted/developed?

 

It depends on the individual in question. Some kids are highly motivated and get on with their studies. Some kids enter lazy mode and slack about watching the telly or playing video games and need pushing to do any studying. Some kids want to study but need guidance on what to study as they no longer have a fixed curriculum. Some kids get terminally absorbed into the subject they are most interested or obsessed with and ignore just about everything else.

 

Is it completely exhausting?

 

Depends on how much effort the parents want/need to put in. Some kids are autonomous and get on with things themselves most of the time. Others constantly need tutoring all day every day. It also depends on the number of subjects they formally study to exam level.

 

What resources/groups/activities have been useful?

 

Lots of websites and books on HE.

[Canopus]

Lots of questions- but the main ones are;

 

What the attitude of different LEAs has been? Helpful or resistant? (I'm thinking mainly of elective HE with no statements to complicate matters)

 

Parents have a right to home educate and can withdraw their children from school whenever they like without having to give a reason to the school or the LEA. I don't think that any LEA ever recommends HE even if it is blatantly obvious that HE would be best. In fact, I have a sneaky suspicion that LEA "reps" are bound by duty and contract never to recommend HE. If parents go ahead with HE then the LEA will honour their wishes and won't play obstructive.

 

How the children reacted/developed?

 

It depends on the individual in question. Some kids are highly motivated and get on with their studies. Some kids enter lazy mode and slack about watching the telly or playing video games and need pushing to do any studying. Some kids want to study but need guidance on what to study as they no longer have a fixed curriculum. Some kids get terminally absorbed into the subject they are most interested or obsessed with and ignore just about everything else.

 

Is it completely exhausting?

 

Depends on how much effort the parents want/need to put in. Some kids are autonomous and get on with things themselves most of the time. Others constantly need tutoring all day every day. It also depends on the number of subjects they formally study to exam level.

 

What resources/groups/activities have been useful?

 

Lots of websites and books on HE.

[ameretto]

Thanks, Canopus

[bookwyrm]

I home educate my youngest son - used to be my two youngest, but ms is 16 and at college now.

Ys has AS. I can not imagine how he could have coped with school.

At home he can follow his interests where ever they lead. He can stay up all night reading - as long as he is quiet He can talk like an encyclopedia without people teasing him. He can draw map after map after map. He can build monster engineering projects and take over the house - until I can't cope with it anymore, when we negotiate a time for me to clean the house. He can have a science lab set up in the kitchen - he can learn negitiating skills as he convinces me to let it stay there. He can go to group meetings if he wants to - there are lots available, far more than he wants.

The LEA leave us alone mostly. I sent them a report three years ago and they want another one, which I will have to write soon I suppose. I did have a run in with them early on, but once I had reminded them of the law - you have to, they tend to regard their policies as the same as law. Their policies have nothing to do with us, those are their problem. We only have to educate our children not make the LEA happy. As long as there is no appearance that we are failing to educate they have no hold over us. So all we have to do is answer their informal enquiries in a reasonable fashion. They don't like people to know that And education is whatever you want it to be, you get measured against your own desired outcomes. For me the desired outcome is that my children should emerge from childhood with their love of learning intact, confident in their ability to learn whatever they should want to learn in their adult life. Ms has already got there

 

Ys has flourished. (Ms did too but he doesn't have AS) He loves learning, he is interested in many things, he has friends who accept him the way he is. He is happy with the way he is and has developed strategies to cope with the way he gets when things upset him.

 

It is not exhausting. It is far easier than school. All the pressure is off. You do what you and your child want to do.

 

I have found having cable TV invaluable. My son loves documentaries and science programs and wildlife programs and cartoons.

The internet is very useful too, of course, but still can't compete with a good documentary.

The online library catalog is a life saver - keeping up with my sons voracious appetite for books would be impossible otherwise. And they took my suggestion of no reservation fees for children too

The local home ed group is great. There are meetings weekly at least. Often there is a choice of what to do on a given day. My son usually chooses activity based ones. He loved the sailing and canoeing we did earlier in the year, and we regularly go to the swimming group. We are booked to use the longest zip wire in the UK in January. But there are also lots of sessions offering craft activities. But he would rather do that sort of thing at home with just me. There are also trips to the theatre, to museums, to parks etc. Again he would rather we did those things alone, but that is his choice. Some meetings are just so the children can socialise, and until you know lots of other home educators those are probably the most valuable.

 

HTH

bookwyrm

[ameretto]

Thankyou so much, Bookwyrm, that is a very positive picture and exactly the best case scenario i was envisaging for us.

 

I'm not the only one with an obsessive map-drawer on my hands, then!

 

My only real problem now is a completely unconvinced partner.

 

Cheers,

 

Ameretto

[bookwyrm]

My only regret about home educating was that I didn't do it sooner. Ms suffered a huge loss of confidence while he was at school - and he is the one without special needs

[ameretto]

Yes- it's the confidence issue thats pushing me to a decision.

 

Thanks, bookwyrm.

[Canopus]

I think that (lack of) confidence is the biggest problem most parents face when it comes to home education and is immaterial of whether the parents have few or many qualifications. An important thing to remember is that home education is not a one way ticket. If things don't turn out as expected or problems result then your kids can still go back to school.

 

It would be a good idea to read some books and websites about home education. Get in touch with a home education community and you will find plenty of help and advice on many things.