Making others understand

[cindy30fish]

We had a lot of on going pain expaining this condition for others.

The school seemed disintrested and belived he just needs good boundries, and a firm hand.

When my father-in-law saw a major melt down, when J throught he had been stabbed with a needle and he was seeing black smoke, He blamed me as a bad parent.

Another comment that had been said to me by grandparents are "That child needs to be locked up".

"Hes an errentric".

The school said "oh hes only a mild aspergers" he is just a drama queen.

But What i want to say is we take all the melt downs, we fight for there rights, we apoligies when our child appear to be rude, because they wont reply to people when they talk to them.

We dont get invites to peoples houses because we dont fit into there little boxes of excepable people.

Other that this web site do you guys feel your the only ones out there and feel isolated.

 

 

SORRY BADLY NEEDED A MOAN TODAY

[lynyona]

<'> Its so hard getting people to understand why our children behave like they do, before kieran was actually dx as ASD i was really thinking those things to myself .Kieran went to a special school and at 15 i thought enough is enough and approached the Head teacher and all she said was he s a teenager.Aghhh went to our Gp and he refered us to a family therapy unit thing and she sort of implied while pointing her pen at me it was our fault and we had made him like he was.Basically they were useless.When it came to kieran having a medical before he left school at !6, i saw the school doctor and he listened to what i had to say to him and he asked why i had waited so long to follow anything up,because people were telling me i was being overprotective and imaging things.At this point i told him that if there wasnt more wrong with kieran than his learning disabilities then he d got serious mental problems(awfull thing to say but i believed it)He was referred to a Clinical Psych and we waited 18 months and she came to our house over a period of time and did the assessment ,yes he has an autistic spectrum disorder but it ook untill nearly is 18th birthday. But even his elder brothers dont understand and they will say the same things to me that you have mentioned and then they say im only making excuses for him.All we can do is try our best at the end of the day we know why they are like they are and should we really have to justify them to anyone .

lynn

[Paula]

Moan away.Ive done it many a time

 

Explaining to others is a nightmare.Grandparents i found in my own circumstances can be the worst.Maybe its coz there from a different generation one where kids were just plaine naughty and nobody tried to find out why they did this or that.

 

Ive had over the years that its all down to me,that he should never have been born,or get him locked away and get on with youre life.You get people staring and tutting and saying god that child needs disapline.

 

I dont know if this will help i hope it does but when my son was younger that was when i found it the worse.Perhaps if im honest part of me was ashamed that i was the mother with the child screaming shouting and kicking in a shopping centre whilst everyone looked on.The arguments i had as i let loose at on lookers telling them where to get off.

 

But over the years hes 12 in January the public meltdowns have got further and further apart,and if he does kick of i find it easier to handle and basically ignore onlookers stuff them i say.

 

 

If you get in touch with the National Autistic society they do little cards like business cards which say this person is autistic/aspergers and go on to breifly explaine in simple terms what that means and what behaviour to expect.Then if you carry them round with yer and people are staring hand them one of those it saves you explaining.They only cost about �2 for 100 and are well worth it when you havent the energy for another long drawn out explanation.

 

r

[ediebee]

Try looking at the O.A.S.I.S. online aspergers support and information service website. I found a really good "Guide for Grandparents" and for teachers to print off and they've come in very helpful in providing explanations for the people in my childs life. I've got to say after reading these explanations people seem to be a bit more tolerant, perhaps I'm just lucky. Hope they may help you.

[Suze]

We no longer see some friends??.........because of their opinions of my son.You could try giving everyone some books on ASD for christmas..........see if you can educate the ignorant ............if people are really cruel it may be that they have to take a back seat in you life for a while <'>

[lindy-lou]

im with you on this as well,my daughters nursery teachers cannot believe there is anything wrong with india,at the multi agency meeting the teacher actually said she would love a class full of indias!!so ive done my best to explain what ASD means to india and explained about her rituals at home and obsessions,and behaviours,i asked them if they ever saw indy role playing and the answer was no,so i said dont you think its strange that a 3 and a half year old girl doesnt know how to play in the home corner and she could only agree,i think they only see what they want and its only when its pointed out to them that they begin to see and understand,and my mum is in denial too,she always has been about my nephew,she knows that he has problems but she doesnt want to put his meltdowns or unusual behaviour down to AS,she still tries desperatley to see the normal boy in him,when i rang her to tell her about indias DX she said oh shes just highly strung,shes always fine when she's here,but i know she isnt and i know they find her hard work,so much so that i dread asking them to look after her because i know they dread it then the day after DX she rang me and i was talking to her about indys behaviours and she was saying yes i know she does that here too,so i think she just needed some time to accept it,which is fine,i dont think my husbands fully accepted it either,he doesnt really want to talk about it and he doesnt envisage india having any problems when shes older,im trying to make him see that that just isnt going to be the case and its for indias benefit that he knows how to deal with it,so i dont know whats worse,my family not being able to see and accept or the outside world.