A question about school - can i observe my son

[linss]

morning all!

We've got an appointment with our Consultant Psychiatrist next Tuesday.

As most of the issues with my son (7)are at school and as they are constantly reeling off incidents that happen daily - i asked his class teacher if i could come in to school one morning and observe him.

I have a good relationship with the school and as they are experiencing the brunt of his behaviour i think it's really important for me to see the main issues and what causes them etc for me to accurately relay this to the Psych.

It will also probably be one of our last visits to her. So i want to get everything i can out of it.

 

The problem is his teacher is not keen ,she said perhaps i could come in next Monday but i can tell she's not really happy with the idea.

 

Could anyone tell me whether my request is unsuitable , are there any reasons why i wouldn't be allowed ?

 

 

I feel frustrated as my job before i had kids was an NNEB so i am trained to proffesionally observe and record childrens behaviour.

So many teachers act like they are the only ones with the 'knowledge'.

[Jill]

I can't see any reason why you shouldn't be allowed to observe your son, but I wonder if it would be counterproductive?

 

It's just that I know The Boy would behave differently if I was at his nursery, so you may find that the "problems" the school are saying that they are having with your son may not be displayed if he sees you are there.

 

TBH, suspicious person that I am, I wonder whether the school aren't keen for you to be there because they realise that they are the cause of the problem, not your son i.e. the "incidents" they reel off to you could easily be resolved if they would just put themselves out a bit or are in fact actually caused by them not understanding ASD properly in the first place.

[Guest hallyscomet]

I agree with Jill, our own children do behave differently when we are there.

 

Hailey

[elaine1]

I too am an NNEB and i was encouraged to come in and observe my son, but they made it look as though i was helping out too so it wasnt too obvious.

I listened to some children reading and helped out during p.e. Perhaps u could suggest this?

 

good luck!!

[Kazzen161]

I think its because you say you want to "observe" him - by default you will also be observing the Teacher, and from my work as a Governor, I know that freaks a lot of Teachers out - particularly if you are sitting at the back with a piece of paper!

 

I would go with Elaine's suggestion, and say could you help in the classroom. You won't have such a detailed record, but you will get a good picture of what happens (probably more accurate too, as the Teacher will be more "relaxed").

 

If you really want a detailed observation, the SEN Governor may be able to do one for you. Or perhaps you could clarify what things you will be observing eg: number of times he initiates play, so she knows you are not there to observe her teaching, only your son's behaviour. Say you will give her a copy of the obs sheet for their records at the end, so she knows you are hiding nothing.

 

Karen

[linss]

I just wish we could all opperate on a proffesional level, i am there to do a job for the benefit of my son which in turn will benefit them. In all my dealings with school i am always friendly ,understanding and supportive. It's a shame that teachers let their own personal feelings about how they will appear when i his mother am observing, influence their descicion.

It's not a big deal! i think they do an admirable job(they know i think this) i just want to look at my own childs behavior in school for an hour or two. And i know from past experience that he will behave no different whether i am in his class or not. Thats part of his problem he

won't hide his behaviour from anyone even the Queen herself wouldn't be excused from a passing kick if she'd upset him

I won't ask again though i don't want to make thing awkward.

[jomica]

Don't know if this helps at all, but my school gave permission for the clinical psychologist (not ed psychologist) to come into the classroom and observe my son at work. Maybe you can arrange that with one of your consultant's team? That way they see first hand what's going on, but your son won't know the observer from Adam so it won't make a difference to how he might normally behave.

 

Incidentally, the teachers were pleased to get the clinical psychologist's input - she has a very different approach to the educational team (ie, she turned up!!!!! Well, not just that .......)

Edited January 19, 2006 by jomica

[linss]

thanks!!! that is a top idea and much more acceptable to his teacher i would imagine.

[UltraMum]

J has had umpteen people observe him in the classroom - EP, OT, SALT etc - none of the teachers minded - except for one ...

[jen]

I asked to go in and observe my child so i could feed back to his psychatrist. The headmistress and teacher did not want me to go on so I asked them to record everything in a book so I would have information to take with me. I needed to know in detail what was happening before an incidence began what happened and how it was handled.

 

I also asked the teacher to come along to the hospital as my childs problems were mainly in school.

They soon changed there minds and allowed me in.

What I saw with my eyes was completely different to what the teacher was seeing. The teacher was just looking at the incidence and not what happened before or how the child was showing signs of distress.

 

 

Its wise to ask how the child is in the playground what games is he/she is playing. Is it paralle play or what.

 

Jen

[JenRose]

when my son was in school i often had chance to observe him in the playground as i only live around the corner.

 

what i saw was him stood in the middle biting his nails observing the other kids and then marching up to a gang of boys and trying to make them play his way which resulted in him being thumped.

 

when i tackled the teachers they said "perhaps he is doing this for your benefit and you are seeing things that arent really there!"

 

he doesnt know or see me when ive done this as im really discreet and neither do the teachers.

 

On more thatn one occasion he,s told me that he,s been told off for telling tales, this must have been going on for years and as a result his anxiety levels are such that he is no longer in school, the teachers were annoyed that i had seen what goes on without their knowledge, i would push for observing if i were you even if its just in the playground.

[OPooh]

Speaking as a wannabe psychologist (I only have first degree) it wouldn't be ethical for you to observe your son and can cause the behaviours to completely change.

 

I've been and "helped out" at schools too - so as suggested maybe you just need a re-phrase.

 

Good luck