my eyes have been opened

[neda]

My 6yr NT girl said to me today she didn't get out to play at break time. I asked her why, thinking she had done something wrong, instead she told me it was because she was to keep XXXX company as he was the new boy who wasn't allowed to go out at break time until he learned how to behave properly. She told me he had apparently called the TA a f***ing b*****d, kicked another boy, hit some others and doesn't do what he is told when in the playground. I asked her if there was maybe something wrong with him. She told me she asked him why he does the things and he said he didn't know, he had been to the doctors but didn't know what was wrong with him, also said he is seeing Ed psych (he named him). Luckily she said she didn't mind staying in with him as it wouldn't have been fair on him to be by himself. Knowing how my wee boy is if things aren't going his way, I'm slightly worried that she was left inside with him and although she didn't mind, is it fair to use another child in this way and prevent her breaktime? Feel guilty about thinking this as this could be wee boy when he starts school.

 

Then my 8yr old NT girl said to me that her teacher had sent XXXX down to give paint to another teacher (this boy has recognised difficulties but not sure if has any diagnosis). She was able to tell me that she thought the teacher had done this because she wanted to talk to everyone else about him. Asked her what for and was told "some people do bad things or things they aren't supposed to just to get attention. If this was happening in the classroom then they were to ignore the person and they would stop" (if my 8yr old can put 2 + 2 together and come up with 4) then how more obvious could the teacher be.

 

It has now opened my eyes to the fact that even though the school has been great with me and the girls, that if my boy starts there, then we may be in for big problems, considering HT has already told me to defer him as he is emotionally too young (she hasn't met him)

 

I feel very uncomfortable about the way they handled these situations, what does anybody else think about this. Not sure if I'm just a bit too sensitive because of my boy.

[Paula]

I know i always say go on youre instinct to people but i would.

 

It sounds a right carry on and shows that the staff realy dont give a toss about kids with difficulties in there school and would rather palm them of with another child to look after them.Its not right but its common.

 

 

When my son did his one and only year in a mainstream school they used to make him stay indoors said he scared the other kids because he made at times strange noises.They also got his elder sister to look after him which wasnt faire on her.

 

It made me so angry my As son was left sitting in a classroom incase he frightened the other kids yet these other little darlings bloodied his nose,urinated on his coat and spat at him !!!!!!!!!! Yet theyd to be protected from him a child who wouldnt harm a fly.It enraged me and these kids were only aged 5 and 6.

 

I thankgod every single day he no longer attends a place where despite what they say to youre face how pleasant they are and how they appear to understand in reality they think there nothing but a naughty child and Autism/Aspergers is something parents bring on through bad parenting.

 

I dont think youre being sensative id listen to youre inner voice.

[Guest hallyscomet]

Hi Neda,

 

Just bumping this up for you. Someone will come along soon that can help.

 

<'>

Hailey

 

Hi Paula,

 

You must have been typing just as I bumped this up

Hailey

Edited February 2, 2006 by hallyscomet

[Guest hallyscomet]

Hi Neda,

 

Just bumping this up for you. Someone will come along soon that can help.

 

<'>

Hailey

[oracle]

Hi Neda,

 

I have read this now several times and do not know which way I would jump on this one. There are so many unanswered questions. Have the boys parents been asked if the class should be given direction about their son? Is there a dx? Should you go in as your daughter was the one chosen to sit with this young man, which means that they have involved her?

 

There is no doubt that the teacher did not chose the right words for her little 'whole class' pep talk while this child was on his errand. I do understand that it may be best if the class are told just to ignore any inappropriate behaviour, because the last thing any teacher needs to happen is for the children in the class to copy. She also needs them to know what is expected of them if there is a fracas in the class while she handles it.I do understand all of this but the words used were inappropriate no matter what.

 

If you decided to go in they will not go into details about this little chap because they can not. If nothing else they have marked your card, given you food for thought and you will be one step ahead should any of this happen when your wee one starts school.

 

Sorry I can not help more.

 

Carole

[helenl53]

I have just come on to this thread and I am concerned

 

This sounds very much like Circle Of Friends strategies and these must alway be undertaken under the supervision of an Ed Psycho - from my memory of Circle of Friends info that I have been given, there must be permission given by all concerned because of confidentiality issues.

 

Sorry to also bring in a nerdy bit - but there is a Health and safety issue here - has this supervisory activity that is undertaken by your child been 'risk assesed' - also don't want to be too dramatic - but there could be Child Protection issues.

 

I feel very sorry for the children involved - it sounds very much like your daughter is being used as a free minder . Child labour was abolished many years ago.

 

Sorry if I have alarmed you - but that was my intention - I don't think that what is happening is legal

 

HelenL

[elaine1]

wow this is intolerable what if something had happened and the child couldnt deal with it, would the school be blamed or the child!. My daughter has to do playground duty in the yr 1s playground, i hate it cos if anyone falls over its her responsibility to take the child into first aid - anything could happen and my child would be blamed for not dealing with the situation properly - shes only 10 and too young to take responsiblity for other ppls kids.

[neda]

Thanks for your replies. I've been thinking about it and talking some more, wee girl says the new boy chooses who he wants to stay in with him (there is 1 person every day), that person can say no if they don't want to stay in and he picks someone else. How soul destroying for the wee boy if they say no. Enquired further to see who is supervising inside, apparently it is a teaching assistant but they are not in the same room.

 

Helen think this is where your point comes in about this being under Ed Psych, girls had commented they had seen him in school the day before, they are familiar with him because of their brother.

 

Elaine I know what you are saying about the p1 playground, this school also has a buddying system for the primary 1s and 2s to ensure no one is left out and they are joining in. I thought this was a good idea to help them settle, but was unaware of the responsibility of the older child, but I know both my kids loved their 'buddy'.

 

I've decided I'm going to speak to her class teacher rather than the head teacher as I've been told she is very defensive in these situations and I don't want to rock the boat with her if my boy is starting in August. Her class teacher is more approachable. I know my girl is just being kind to him and now I've had a good think about it I don't think I'd mind if there was an adult in the classroom so I will be raising it as an issue on Monday when I collect her from school.

 

Really appreciate your replies as I was wondering if I was being over sensitive, but I think not.