Concerns for my sister.

[fiorelli]

Many of you know that my son, Louis has Aspergers Syndrome.

 

My Mum informed me a couple of months ago (when we were trying to reconcile our differences) that my Sister's Psychiatrist has said it 'sounds like' she has Aspergers as well. No formal diagnosis has been done as far as I can tell, and for a long time, my mum refused to believe there was anything 'wrong' with my sister.

 

Me however, I can remember all the way back in infant/junior school, when I was asked to come into school a little earlier with my sister, so I could help her with her reading at a little group with a teacher.

 

My sister has always been very quiet and quite withdrawn. In family gatherings, she would often just sit in a quiet corner with a glass of coke, and stay there until the party was finished.

 

She never finished school. She sort of 'fell out' of the system. She still lives at home (she is 22 on Saturday) with my mum and younger sister (who has just finished college).

 

I have concerns, because when I stayed with my mum with Louis and L for a little while after finishing with their father (before meeting hubby), my sister was self-harming - cuts on her arms, hacking at her own hair etc, and I even had an incident when my mum went away, and my sister took an overdose of tablets she had been prescribed (I can't remember what they were). She would only eat when someone had cooked for her, or would do herself bread and butter, and would spend the majority of her time sat down watching 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' (actually, that last bit sounds very much like Louis!) She doesn't go in the bath unless she was pushed to do so.

 

Hubby (who is a delivery driver) has been saying more and more recently that he has seen my sister, 'wandering' and 'looking totally lost', or was 'just stood there staring into space' when he has been delivering in and around the area they live.

 

My concerns are even more extended because my mum often goes on trips away to her husbands family sometimes for weeks at a time. My sister is usually invited along, but never goes, so is left alone to fend for herself.

 

I would dearly love to help her in some way, but I don't know how. (My mum is not speaking to me, and for me to phone and speak to my sisters would be a major crime for which they would pay.)

 

Anyone got any suggestions?

[redberry]

You could phone her GP. Obviously the gp will not be able to discuss your sister with you, but you can discuss your sister with them. If you see what I mean

I have called some ones gp in a situation sort of similar, and they were very helpful.

 

What a very worrying situation for you <'>

Erm I cant think of anything else to sugest..

Hope this helps,

 

redberry

[melly]

A difficult situation.

 

First of all, best of luck whatever you decide to do. The only thing I can think of would be to make a call to social services, they aren't allowed to tell someone who raised the concerns if you ask them not to.

 

Otherwise perhaps your mum may listen to you if you explain that you have concerns for your sister which are completely seperate from your and her differences.

 

Hope someone else has some better ideas!

[pumpkinpie]

You mantion a younger sister, have you discussed your concerns with her and asked what she thinks?

[adamsmum]

<'> <'> Sorry i dont have much advice. familys can be hard work can't thay. I dont get on well with my mother. We speak but i try not to mention half my family as it couses fights. For my boys safty i dont see my brothers and this couses a lot of problems. Is there a relative who could help or a family freand. Or could you send a note. Im shore you thout of this but i will keep fingers crossed and hope you come up with somthing

[fiorelli]

I would phone the GP if I knew who he/she was...

 

As for my younger sister, yes I have tried asking her, but all I get is the usual 'she's ok' response, or a 'she's in her room' if I try ask if the older sister is around. It is very awkward, as my mum has made it VERY difficult for my younger sister to talk to me in the past. It's an awful situation, and I just wish that we had managed to rectify it when we tried just before Christmas.

[fiorelli]

adamsmum - my mum has alienated all of the family - long story which I won't go into, but it does partly involve mum's attitude towards my sister, and my brother, both of who have 'problems/difficulties' of sorts.

[adamsmum]

Sorry not much to be done. The trouble is no matter whot you do it could couse a fight. I called s workers about my brothers kids. My family dident need to be told it was me thay worked it out All hell broke loos. Thay new it was the right thing to do and the kids got help my brothers on drugs so i had no choice. The trouble is i no longer get to see the kids as ther mum left my brother. Of course it was all my thout. I would still do it but you have to decide for your self is it worth it if it go's wrong. Only you know but good luck

[Suze]

could you write to your mum explaining your concerns?

[lil_me]

Sounds like a girl who could do with some help, possibly Aspie, possibly another problem but sounds worrying.

 

Could try ringing GPs in your sisters area, stick the address in www.yell.co.uk on a search for doctors surgeries may help, or maybe telephone and ask you Mam or one of your sisters which GP they use as a friend is moving to the area and she wants a good one recommending can you tell I have had to do this before.

 

Social services would be my last port of call, mainly as I've had little joy with them in the past.

Edited February 15, 2006 by lil_me