What do I do?

[BuntyB]

I am interested in everyone else's opinion on how/ if they would tackle this.

The first time ASD was ever mentioned in relation to our family was when my daughter, C was having a number of problems and was assessed by CAMHS. They assessed her for Asperger Syndrome, but when I read up about it and related it more directly to her younger sister, it was her sister who got the diagnosis, and C did not.

School said that she had no social difficulties and had many friends. Therefore she does not have an ASD, she has learning difficulties.

 

C is desperate to be liked. She has lots of people she refers to as 'friends', in fact they use her and bully her because she is a soft touch. The sad thing is she doesn't even know what they are doing! One of them even got excluded for the way they treated her, and she still thinks this girl is her friend. I worry about her as she is so vulnerable. She is now 11.

 

School have her on 'school action plus' and she is described as having 'learning difficulties'. Although she has difficulty with the concept of numbers and lateral thinking, her reading age is above 11, as is her spelling and she is in the top set on a fast learning programme for early GSCE in French, but has low self- esteem, is disorganised, and has panic attacks if anything isn't as she expects it to be. IMO, she has many autistic traits from working with this group.

 

I don't know whether to stick my neck out and say I think everyone else has missed the point here, or whether it really makes a difference. School are giving her support with the things she is struggling with, although she remains unhappy at school. Does the label matter?

[LKS]

Hi Shona this is a tricky one and I think someone will come along eventually and offer advice on here. A couple of things I thought though is that they say she has learning difficulties but it seems from your post that apart from numeracy and lateral thinking she is achieving quite well. What does it say are her main difficulties on her IEP and how do the school support her with these. How long has she been on SA+. I believe that when you are on this stage outside agencies can be called in for help. Who has the school involved and what advice have they given. We have a specialist teacher for ASD who the school call in (if you're lucky ) to observe the child in class and offer advice.

[elainem]

HI

 

it IS tricky I agree, we have twin boys aged 5. M has dx of ASD and he has needed this dx to access the help he receives. We suspect J may some traits of AS but at this time a dx would make no difference. We are going to play by ear and just keep any eye on. If we feel a dx is needed to get support etc then we will have him assessed (the offer is there from psychiatrist). I guess you have to ask whether a dx would be helpful.

 

Best wishes

 

Elaine

[BuntyB]

I know- my son also has AS, he is 13 now and we didn't bother with a diagnosis for him. I knew his problems and we dealt with it, however school were not so helpful. Thye wanted a diagnosis to be able to help. The psych was surprised when we went- he said he should be able to get help anyway, still we are having to wind him up by taking hime through the motions of assessment at 13. It really annoys me.

[gromit]

Hi

 

Agree this is a difficult one. Have been wondering myself whether to insist on testing for ASD for my son. I am currently playing it by ear as last week he did slightly better at school but dont know if a dx will help in terms of extra help. To be honest I will probably request that they at least consider it as I know a lot of his behaviours fall into the spectrum and for my peace of mind I feel i need their opinion.

 

 

As for the label what I'm wondering is if that even where there is extra support in place, perhaps a label will help change peoples attitudes, the ones that work with your kid.

 

 

I'm so sorry your daughter is being bullied in this way, maybe this is something the school can adress as no kid should have to put up with that

 

hope I havnt made things worse with my own questions

 

Best of luck

[BuntyB]

Just an update;

I made an appointment to chat to the SENCO about my daughter. I want to see how much she knows and how they are dealing with her problems.

Yesterday I had to take her into school because she wouldn't stop crying and missed the school bus. It turned out that she didn't know what they were going to do in PE, which from an ASD point of view is perfectly understandable, except nobody but me thinks this is the problem! Would a 'learning difficulty' cause this? (unless they think ASD is a learning difficulty?)

I just feel so sad, seeing her like that.

[jb1964]

Hi Shona,

 

My daughter has only recently been diagnosed with AS (she's 12) after being referred to CAHMS for something else. Although we always thought she was different over the years we put lots of her behaviour down to various illnesses she had and really it wasn't until she got to 7/8yrs that we thought shouldn't she be starting to grow out of this behaviour now?

 

In primary school she 'coped' (I say coped because the school never said there were any problems) - we always had the problems when she came home. However the CPN has since said she slipped the net because she was passive in school etc, and her class was 20/10 ratio boys/girls and the teachers were always happy to have a quiet, shy type who didn't cause any bother, she also said that girls (apparently?) somehow learn to adapt easier at trying to fit in - by learning for instance that if a teacher thinks they are upset or there is a problem they will say everything is 'fine' which will stop a teacher from asking you anything else.

 

As you say C is desperate to be liked. She has lots of people she refers to as 'friends', in fact they use her and bully her because she is a soft touch. The sad thing is she doesn't even know what they are doing! - my daughter was and still is exactly the same.

 

PE has always been a massive problem for her as well - although since the diagnosis the consultant arranged with the school that she no longer has to take part in this.

 

I know that when my daughter was being assessed they told us that everyone has a certain element of autistic traits - it is only when they meet a certain criteria that it becomes an ASD.

 

How old was your daughter when they were assessing her and how many sessions did they see her for?

 

Is she still in primary education - only thinking that if you really do think she could have AS then you need to see someone before she starts secondary school. That was when the fireworks really started for us.

Edited March 3, 2006 by jb1964