How do i prepare ds for a house move??

[smiley]

Hiya,

 

We will be moving house sometime within the next two months and i'm not sure how to approach the subject with M. We use schedules and visual timetables at home (and school) so it's not the actual moving day i need help with, but the getting him prepared..

 

I don't know weither to tell him sooner rather than later and risk a very stressed out little man. I don't want to leave it 'till the last minute because i know he just won't cope with a sudden change without any notice.....

 

Erm...... HELP!!!

[lil_me]

Not had to deal with this myself but I did find this

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=305&a=6293

 

I would definately use the calendar and book ideas on there, and like you said not to tell him too early, but also not too late. I believe in preparing children, but have seen my son get terribly worked up when I have over prepared him and he got anxious and learned from my mistakes. I would tell him before any changes are made like packing etc as they sense something is going on.

Edited February 26, 2006 by lil_me

[denise2]

The only thing I can think of is make sure he knows that he is going as well. Before my son's diagnosis we decided to move house and my son became very clingy. It took a while to work out that he thought we were going to move while he wasn't there and then he wouldn't be able to find us. We had just taken it for granted that he would know he was coming with us.

 

Denise 2

[smiley]

Thanks for the link lil me - it's great

 

Denise - Huge thank you! That hadnt even occured to me - i know he will think that family/friends won't know where we are because of things that have happened before..... Suppose it will come down to making sure he's involved somehow... Thanks, you've given me something to think about!

[lil_me]

No problem

 

Only moving issue we've ever had was my friend moved from next door. Seems my son thought we live together, even though the house doesn't join on, and he couldn't understand why we weren't moving aswell, he kept packing things into boxes. So as much as he needs to know he is going, he might need to know who isn't. Broke my little boys heart when it sunk in we were staying here. He also thought when we said she was moving house, she was literally moving her house. Amazing how confused he was, but that was pre dx and it all kind of makes sense now.

Edited February 26, 2006 by lil_me

[helenl53]

Smiley - don't know if it is possible, but photographs of where you are moving - inside and out to keep in an album. Also lots of little stories about walking down the path, going to the park putting the paddling pool etc - makes it a little more real, Our kids have difficulty imagining what it will be like. I did this prior to a school move, and each day, I drove past the school to re-inforce the location and I did a little story every day about swimming, playground, friends etc. The result was - he went to the school no bother - however the stories I told did not match the nightmare of the reality that was that particular school.

 

You can tell stories about his favourite toy etc.

 

Before my son was two, and before I even knew what ailed him, I went down to the place we were moving to and wallpapered, painted etc in the same decor as the bedroom he was leaving and I even put the same Disney carpet and Winnie the Poo lightshade. Guess what - he settled into that place - we didn't but he did!

 

Again, maybe buy a few bits and bobs for taking to the New House

 

Hope this helps

 

Helen and the Gang from 'A' Avenue

[puffin]

When we moved last November we used several ways of helping M (dx AS) adapt:

 

- we took her to the house for the initial viewing and subsequent "measuring up" visits so that she could get a feel for the new house.

- there was a gap of several months between exchanging contracts and completion so we made many trips driving past the house to get used to the area and to find things that she would like - neighbours with cats for example

- visual information was very important - I saved the estate agent's online picture tour of the house and we looked at it frequently and discussed what it would be like when we lived there - so some sort of picture tour would be good.

- we let her decide on her room and used the house floor plans to decide where all of her things would go so as much as possible was decided and "certain" before we moved

- we prioritised her room when moving in to get quite a lot of her important stuff unpacked as soon as possible

 

I think that one of the big crisis points is the actual moving day for ASD children - so it's well worth deciding whether it is a good idea or not to have your child around. We did the heavy moving when she was at school and then let her pack her most important stuff when we were ready to go.

[fiorelli]

All the advice given is good advice, but something else I will say is, make sure you let M know that his stuff is going too!

 

I know it may sound strange, but if you show him around a house that is either full of someone else's stuff, or empty, this in itself may be enough to worry him.

 

Keep talking about it in as little or as much detail as you think M will tolerate. Listen out all the time for any signs that he is getting anxious about the move.

 

You will still get problems with M settling in, but hopefully it wouldn't be as bad as if you just left it until the day you moved to tell him.

 

We moved in April last year, and we went around the house with Louis in stages (after we had viewed and accepted the property) - i.e. first we went for a drive around the area. Giving it a lot of praise - Ooh, this looks nice! Look at the houses, they are big/small/nice size.

 

Then we went and parked up outside the actual property. - Louis do you like the garden on this house - it's lovely and big! - You can get your swing/slide in there and STILL have enough room to ride your bike!

 

Then on another day we went inside the house - Louis, wouldn't the tv go nice by here? - No? - well where do you think it would go? This bedroom is a good size - your bed will it lovely in here! Where would you put your playstation?

 

 

Going back to where I said about making sure you listen out to what M is saying, Louis would be playing, and all of a sudden he would say something like - I'm going to miss my friends. I'm going to have to change schools. (he didn't have to do either), we would keep saying over and over that, he would still see his friends, he would still go to the same school, he would still have the same teacher, he can still have his thunderbirds cover on his bed, he will still have his Bob the Builder teddy etc.

 

Be guided by M. It won't all be plain sailing, but you will get through it. Unfortunately, moving is a part of life, and one that mostly cannot be helped.

 

Good Luck! xxx

[supersec]

Hi Smileymab

 

We moved on the 20th January 2006 with two children, Julian 4 1/2 asd and Jamie 16 months nt.

 

As we moved in six weeks it was a bit of a worry but I did a lot of what the others have said, drove past and showed him the house, took him round it two or three times and showed him his room. When we completed we moved all his stuff in straight away and set his thomas tank train set up and put the portable dvd player in his bedroom and set it up to play plane dvds. When we bought him here we took him to his bedroom and he was okay, had a few teething problems - he would cry when we went by the old flat but soon settled down.

 

Hope it all goes well for you

 

thinking of you

 

big hugs to you all

 

Supersec