Help with anxiety

[patrick w]

Hello..i am sure this has been covered often before here.. My AS son (13 & half) has recently strated to expereince what i would term as an anxiety attack (or semi one)... at night . I can see how hard they are for him.. He says he "realises everything"..and becomes hypersensitive to noise, tempeature, cant eat, and cant settle (restlessness)... I would love to know others experience and what maybe they did if anything..

 

Thanks

 

Patrick

 

(it's making me feel really sad and tearful and helpless)

[Tez]

Hi,

 

A has great difficulty at night for all the reasons that you list. Whilst melatonin no longer helps him to sleep, it does help to calm his anxieties. Having realised that he is not going to sleep, whatever we do, we also allow him to play his games on the internet or his games consolesand this also helps because his attention is focused on something other than the noises. We don't have to worry about unsuitable sites because A vets these for himself and now only visits those he's comfortable with. We still have problems, but before we took this stance nobody slept at all at night in our house, now my husband and I do get a small amount of sleep and A is far less fraught. We no longer have to change A's bed a couple of times a night because of sweat caused by anxiety and his mind doesn't race with thoughts of inadequacies or how he could have handled situations better because he's focused on something more pleasant.

[jb1964]

Hi Patrick,

 

I can only echo what Tez has says - my daughter is allowed her comfort zone when she feels like you've said. The other thing that did help for a little while - were some relaxation scripts that CAHMS taped for her.

 

Take care,

Jb

Edited May 10, 2006 by jb1964

[Suze]

My son is suffering at night at the moment too.He goes up to bed, then for the next few hours finds us to tell us he can,t sleep.We go and sit with him ,talk to him etc.His anxiety can get quite high, he wrings his hands, cries, thrashing about and curls up on the floor.Last night was bad, he ended up with a nose bleed.I,ve found the only thing to do is lie down next to him and talk to him.He likes his forehead stroking so I do this to relax him.He sleep walks also and has night terrors/hallucinations .I think they are all tied in to stress and anxiety from the day.

[denise2]

We have a baby monitor in our son's room so that he knows he can call us if he needs us and we will come. His anxieties are normally related to strange noises, bugs or intruders. We got the monitior after he had a room built for him using a disabled facilites grant and he was frightened of sleeping alone. We do still have to sit with him while he goes to sleep. Our son is also on Melatonin and some nights he sleeps well and others he doesn't but it always helps to calm him. We also use Bach flower remedies White chestnut, this helps to stop repetatitve thoughts and he has found it quite effective.

 

Denise 2

[justamom]

When stressed my son has night terrors too, he talks alot in his sleep and wakes up alot during the night. He also takes so long to fall asleep. He prefers the telly on and the light on because he is afraid to sleep alone and we allow this because its the only way he will sleep.

 

I know alot of people say you have to create a calming enviroment for your child and let them wind down, but like my son he prefers noise and light it helps him sleep???

 

I know what you mean - Patrick that it's horrible to witness these night terrors, when Keegan was little i thought he was fitting it was that bad.... Maybe some form of medication might help him at night???

[Guest hallyscomet]

Hi,

 

My son had anxiety so bad he wouldn't leave the house or go anywhere near a shopping mall bus, you name it.

 

Things went along smoothly until he turned 16 he developed anxiety very much like Agrophobia and wouldnt go to the shops catch a bus or go to school, we found out the MMR Boost he has at 15 caused a lot of problems that in the end once these problems were healed still left him with this terrible Anxiety, crying in the morning every morning when he woke up afraid to go to school, and just a nervous wreck.

 

The doctor trialled him on Luvox along with 18months of counselling prior to this the Clinical Psychologist communicated with the Paediatrician after counselling B and 3 months into the sessions advised the Paediatrician he really needs to take meds for the anxiety.

 

 

Hailey

Edited May 13, 2006 by hallyscomet

[oracle]

We had three years of this with David and he still has to fight to overcome his anxieties at times. David would, at one point, go 72 hours between each sleep because he was afraid to sleep We were doing a round the clock shift system with him, and his elder brother moved back into his room and placed a mattress on the floor in front of the door so that should he fall asleep, and David began to sleep walk, he would have to fall over his brother to get out of the room. This was not an ideal situation as at the time his brother was at University studying for his degree - goodness only knows how he ever made it. At one point David's phobias of creepy crawlies had him trying to jump out of the window at 5 am one morning while he was yelling for pest control. Every little thing was too much for him to cope with - in fact life itself was just too much. At this point we went back to see his psychiatrist who had a really good talk to David about his fears and asked him if he truly believed that the worst was always about to happen or was it just an irrational fear. David's response was that he knew he was being irrational but could not help it. The guy went on to explain to David that so long as he realised that he was being irrational he had little to fear in reality. I remember thinking well mate you have been a great help - NOT! He also told David that this kind of thing was a part of AS and that he would have to find coping methods to make his way through life. By this point I wanted to slit the guys throat David does not do negatives and I thought that this would trip his switch. It did but not in the way I expected. David began to talk about his worries and anxieties and if he could not do this verbally he wrote me notes and left them in the bathroom. It was the start of meaningful communications between he and I and although he is still very much aware that I can't take away his fears he knows that no matter what no he can tell me about them. I found out that David may not do negatives but he does do honesty.

 

It has gotten much better as he has gotten older. He is 19 in July and has found the coping methods needed to get himself through the night without a sitter, and while it saddens me that he is having to find it within himself to cope, it also give me hope that he can find this from within himself. We did have several years of sheer hell when there was nothing but gloom on the horizon - but we worked our way through it and out of the other end.

 

David is totally anti-medication and I support his decision. Meds are not for him and so we found other ways that thankfully worked for us.

 

Oracle

[patrick w]

Thank you all for your kind replies.. i think i just wanted to see it written down that i am not alone, even though i know it... May all our kids find a way

[MumTee]

I suffered with acute anxiety and wasnt able to leave my flat for 3 months many years ago when I was younger because my body just 'short circuited' in flight or fight mode. It helped me when I learned about what all the 'biology' of stress was so that when I felt something happening in my body I could rationalise it - 'that's just adrenaline - it'll pass in a few minutes' - 'the lightness in my head is because I am breathing shallowly - take a deep breath and it'll pass' etc., rather than panicking more and more and making it build up - I dont know if your son is interested in science and the body or if you think that would scare him more?

I just thought I'd mention it in case you think it might help <'>

[Guest hallyscomet]

I suffered with acute anxiety and wasnt able to leave my flat for 3 months many years ago when I was younger because my body just 'short circuited' in flight or fight mode. It helped me when I learned about what all the 'biology' of stress was so that when I felt something happening in my body I could rationalise it - 'that's just adrenaline - it'll pass in a few minutes' - 'the lightness in my head is because I am breathing shallowly - take a deep breath and it'll pass' etc., rather than panicking more and more and making it build up - I dont know if your son is interested in science and the body or if you think that would scare him more?

I just thought I'd mention it in case you think it might help <'>

 

Some anxiety is so acute M Tee that with even the best methods like you suggest, sometimes these techniques just dont work, my son went to a therapist for 3 months to learn to relax, my son tried and tried these techniques and they just didnt work. He really tried too as we didnt want to give him medications but he had not choice but to eventually take something like Luvox.

 

It really reduces you to tears to see your child suffer that much that they are begging you for help as my son was.

 

Regards

Hailey <'>

[denise2]

I suffered with acute anxiety and wasnt able to leave my flat for 3 months many years ago when I was younger because my body just 'short circuited' in flight or fight mode. It helped me when I learned about what all the 'biology' of stress was so that when I felt something happening in my body I could rationalise it - 'that's just adrenaline - it'll pass in a few minutes' - 'the lightness in my head is because I am breathing shallowly - take a deep breath and it'll pass' etc., rather than panicking more and more and making it build up - I dont know if your son is interested in science and the body or if you think that would scare him more?

I just thought I'd mention it in case you think it might help <'>

[/quote

 

I think I'll give this a go with our son at home as information does tend to help him. We home educate so this can easily be slotted in to the day. Of course I mean time wise, now if he is compliant or not is another thing!!

 

Denise 2

[oracle]

We use something called Connective Education with Matthew. It is where you connect your emotions with your body. It helps to identify and deal with anxiety, aggression, frustration etc. There is actually a school where this is delivered as part of the learning process to children with ASD.

 

For anyone who is interested please mail me and I will send you a copy of the document we have. I might just add it to the resources section.It's worth a read

 

Oracle

Edited May 12, 2006 by oracle

[MumTee]

Some anxiety is so acute M Tee that with even the best methods like you suggest, sometimes these techniques just dont work, my son went to a therapist for 3 months to learn to relax, my son tried and tried these techniques and they just didnt work. He really tried too as we didnt want to give him medications but he had not choice but to eventually take something like Luvox.

 

My intention wasnt to devalue someone elses experience or suggest my experience was exactly the same - hope it didnt come across like that to you, Patrick W <'>